A/N: Okay, so this is a Hetalia fanfic. I really love Hetalia, so if you don't and this isn't what you're looking for, there's the back button in the left corner.
Warning: Violence towards children, pervertedness
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Hetalia, sadly, for if I did, there would be more Prussia and Sealand WOULD be a country.
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What if you were Switzerland's next door neighbor?
Little Jimmy Sunshine just moved to Switzerland with his family. They moved next door to Switzerland, who owns many guns that are placed all over his home, with easy access to all of them. He has a really big front yard and many things get lost there. There are people who lost things from baseballs to dolls. But no one dares to go and get them. Why? The reason is because he would shoot at anyone who dared to venture into his yard or on his property. There were several people who didn't come back, but let's not focus on that.
Jimmy decided to play basketball with his new friends one sunny afternoon. He accidently threw the ball too hard and it flew into Switzerland's yard. Jimmy decided to do something stupid and hop the fence much to his friends' dismay. They begged and pleaded for him to not retrieve the ball and to just let it go, but he wouldn't listen to anything that they said to him. He happily and stupidly proceeded with his first plan. Soon his head disappeared over the fence.
All seemed calm, until there were loud noises coming from over the fence. There was lots of gun fire and screaming. All of the sudden, there was a lot of cursing and shouting from Switzerland. His friends all started to cry and prepare to order a coffin. They had a spot reserved in the cemetery for his funeral. It then fell silent. Then they heard the loud pop of a ball being deflated, and the remains were thrown over the fence. They looked at the ball. There were blood stains covering every inch of it. Jimmy never came back from his journey over the fence. Poor little Jimmy Sunshine.
Moral of the story: Never try to get your possessions back from Switzerland's lawn. You won't come back alive.
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What if France decided to hit on Hungary?
One day, France decided that he needed to hit on the countries he hasn't hit on yet. The only county he didn't hit on was Hungary and Belarus, and he wasn't going to take his chances with Belarus. So he decided to hit on Hungary. But he was hungry first, so he decided to go get something to eat. But it must have been his lucky day. Fate played a cruel trick on Hungary and he met her at the little sandwich shop he went to.
France walked over to her so fast that even a ninja wouldn't have seen him. He then pulled up a chair next to Hungary and waited for her to notice. She had her face buried into the menu. Then he silently got up and grabbed her hand and kissed it. He then spoke with the sultriest voice he had:
"Hello there, sweetie. What are you doing today?" he asked, kissing her hand once more.
"Not you," she replied with venom in her voice. "Can you leave me alone, I am trying to have lunch in peace." She then turned back and looked over the menu again.
"Ah, but my love, you are my soul mate! And we must be together and have many children together! I will love you more than anyone ever would. Be with me and you will see my true intentions!" He finished his dazzling speech glowing and shining with sparkles in his eyes.
"You know, I think I know your true intentions already," she stated calmly and innocently. "I think all you are trying to do is get me in bed with you! So here is my response." She then grabbed a frying pan out of nowhere and hit France so hard that he got a nose bleed and fell on the floor, passed out with his soul flying out from his body. Poor France learned his lesson.
Moral of the story: If you are France, never hit on Hungary when she is hungry. You'll end up in heaven faster than you can say mon cher~!
A/N: Wow...That took a bit of time and a lot of confusion. Btw: mon cher means my dear in French. Please rate and review! Give me ideas, too! I love ideas! Don't be too harsh on me, this is my first one!