After quite a long break I have decided return to writing in the Mass Effect universe. I had hoped to find things I wanted to write about following the release of Andromeda, but I will simply say that I found Andromeda…uninspiring. So, I finally return to what I find does inspire me. The Mass Effect of Commander Shepard, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, and the myriad of Milky Way aliens, worlds, and possibilities that drew me in the first place. With so many stories still to be told, why would I want to go to a whole new galaxy?

This story is an immediate sequel to Mass Effect: The Heart Wants. I appreciated the interest expressed in continuing that story and want to return to it myself. I would strongly recommend reading that story prior to reading this one. I will also take this opportunity to recommend the first story I ever wrote, Mass Effect: Suspicions. I'm biased, but recently rereading it made me wish I had written the ending to ME3. Sadly, I wasn't asked. It also reminded me that no matter how hard or how many times I look, I always seem to miss some typos. I hope anyone who chooses to read these stories enjoys this one. I welcome feedback and appreciate that people spend their time with these stories. Obviously, I do not own these characters and thank the programmers at Bioware for creating them.

Chapter 1

The Plunge

Commander John Shepard instinctively took a defensive stance, back to the wall, heart pounding. He had paused in his approach to the automated door, not wanting it to open before he was ready, if he could truly be ready. One more step and that door would open. He would be committed to his course. No going back. The plunge. Taking deep breaths to slow his heart, he contemplated the terrors that lay beyond that door.

Well, potential terrors. Imagined terrors. Shepard recognized he was stalling. He wanted desperately to take that step, but even as his heart urged him forward his brain kept tripping him up, conjuring the most unlikely worst-case scenarios of pain and humiliation. Just days ago he had felt that pain, that humiliation. He had come to the aid of Liara T'Soni, the woman he loved. Past tense. When she had contacted him seeking his help he had hoped to rekindle the passion that had once existed between them. He had taken a leap of faith and believed that Liara would not let him fall. To his surprise it was not Liara who was there to catch him. It was Tali. Tali, who had supported him as he had tried his best to reconnect with Liara, who had asked nothing and given everything, even to the point of literally taking a bullet for him, nearly dying in the process. Tali, who had again saved him from the Shadow Broker's assassin as he lay paralyzed on a hospital floor.

It was Tali's presence, Tali's support that had blunted his pain as he struggled to understand and accept that the love he had believed existed between him and Liara had faded, assuming it had ever really been love in the first place. He had long thought of Tali as a good friend, but as she lay fighting for her life he realized there was more to his feelings, that her loss would be more than the loss of a friend. It would be the loss of…he wasn't sure yet, but certainly more than a friend.

His Yeoman, Kelly Chambers, had advised him to think about who was there for him and whom he was there for. Even as he fumbled with his confused feelings, Tali was there for him. As others abandoned him, as Ashley Williams had done on Horizon, Tali had been there. As they were in the midst of struggling to find and defeat the Shadow Broker's agent, she had made it clear to him that she felt something more than friendship as well. That they could work out what they were feeling for each other, together. That was the word she had used. "Together". So why did he hesitate now? It had been only minutes since Tali had made it clear she wanted to have that conversation. He had charged to engineering filled with the anticipation of that conversation. Anticipation that had transformed to anxiety with each step.

Shepard realized he was still stalling and being a fool in doing so. They could not very well work out what they were feeling, together, with him cowering in the hallway. He took a deep breath, purposely shifting his thoughts away from the worst-case scenarios. Action had always been his antidote for too much thinking. Quivering with nervous energy, he pushed away from the wall. He turned, nearly charging the automatic door leading to engineering, daring the hypersensitive mechanism to not open quickly enough, to try to stand in his way now that he had determined his course of action. The door slid open with a hiss, making way for Shepard. His momentum carried him directly into the very woman whose words he had recently recalled.

Shepard barely registered the impact as he nearly trampled Kelly Chambers, knocking her to the metal grating of the deck. He heard the air knocked from her as she landed on her back with a grunt. She lay there at his feet, stunned.

Shepard stopped and extended a hand to help her back to her feet. She took a moment to recognize the gesture before taking his hand. "My apologies, Yeoman. Are you all right? I was…in a rush." Shepard easily pulled Chambers back to her feet. He waited to be sure she was indeed all right. He glanced past her to the end of the short hall way as she stood hunched over, her hands on her knees, regaining her breath. After a few more moments she stood upright rubbing the spot on her lower back where she had landed.

"I'm okay, Commander. You just caught me by surprise. That felt a bit like running into a tree." Chambers paused and looked Shepard up and down. "You seem a bit…distracted, Commander. Are you all right?"

Shepard found it somewhat embarrassing that she was asking after his welfare after he had just flattened her. He looked again toward the end of the short hallway and sighed. "Distracted is the right word, Chambers. Distracted enough to forget that there are two doors between here and engineering."

Kelly Chambers squinted slightly as she examined Shepard more carefully. "Distracted, but also driven, Commander. You came through that door with a purpose and nothing was going to stand in your way. Not even a hapless Yeoman." Chambers smiled as she said this to make it clear this was friendly teasing and not a rebuke. "Might your distraction and your focus have something to do with Tali?"

"I'm on my way to talk with her. I think you were right about there being something between us and I want to find out what it is. I think…I hope, she does too."

Chambers smiled. "I ran into Tali on the elevator as she was coming from your quarters and tagged along with her to chat. She's a good person, Shepard. And I stand by my statement. There is something there between you. It's up to you to figure out what that is and if it's worth pursuing. This really isn't the right place for us to have this discussion," Chambers glanced significantly at the staircase next to them that led to where Jack was holed up, "but I would be happy to meet with you later to discuss how you are doing, if you would like."

"That would be appreciated, Chambers. You were very supportive as I worked through the situation with Liara. I'm not sure where things will be at after I talk with Tali, but it's good to know I can process with you."

"I'll be there for you when you are ready, Shepard. Only one more door between you and her. Go find out what you're both feeling and I'll talk with you later."

"Care to give me any insight, Chambers? You were just talking with her."

"I believe it is best you and she figure that out for yourselves, Commander."

Shepard sighed, robbed of his easy answers. "Right. I'll see you later." Shepard nodded determinedly and turned toward the inner door to engineering. He paused and audibly took two deep breaths, focusing like a man about to jump across a wide chasm…or into one. Then he charged forward again, vanishing as the automated door closed behind him.

Kelly Chambers' smile changed as Shepard disappeared. Her teeth showed as her lips thinned, shifting from an encouraging smile to one that could only be described as predatory. "Oh, yes, Shepard. I'll be there for you when you're ready", she whispered to herself as she turned and walked through the outer door, returning to the elevator.

Shepard stopped short as the door into engineering hissed shut behind him. Tali stood at her usual engineering station. He was behind her and found himself admiring for a moment the way her environmental suit hugged her body, before mentally shaking that train of thought. He had come to discuss their feelings for each other. Covertly ogling her felt inappropriate. Unworthy. Hardly the impression he would want to make. He took another controlled, deep breath, trying to slow his pounding heart and calm the swarm of butterflies that felt like they might burst free from his stomach at any moment. He stepped forward, clearing his throat.

Tali turned at the sound, clearly somewhat startled. "Shepard, you're here. I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting you to visit so quickly. I mean…I'm glad you did, you are, but you…caught me off guard. I'm sorry."

Tali looked nervous. Make that very nervous. Her stammering and hand wringing made her tension clear. Shepard was taken aback. He had been so focused on his own nervousness he had not thought about how Tali might be feeling at this moment. She had seemed so at ease in his quarters, as eager as he was for this conversation. Now that he was here in front of her she seemed at least as anxious as he felt. Perhaps her anticipation had taken a course similar to his own, transforming to anxiety as the reality of this conversation approached. It was comforting in a way to think she was feeling as diffident as him. It also made it clear that they needed to have this conversation before one or both of them exploded. He licked his lips, swallowing hard, and pushed ahead, wishing Chambers had given him some insight about her conversation with Tali.

"Tali, hello. I was hoping we could have that conversation now, if you're not too busy. About us. About, 'together'." Shepard kept his hands still at his sides, trying to project confidence and interest.

"Of course, Shepard." Tali glanced to the other occupants of engineering. Ken Donnelly and Gabby Daniels were at their usual stations appearing perhaps a bit too focused on the panels in front of them. Chief Engineer Adams was not currently in engineering. Tali turned back to Shepard and waved for him to follow her to the far end of the room, near the mass effect core. Shepard had learned that the noise and magnetic fields generated close to the core disrupted listening devices as well as more mundane attempts to overhear conversations. Shepard gladly followed Tali to this more private spot, regretting that he had not thought to talk to Tali about this before she could walk out of his quarters.

Shepard was opening his mouth to speak when Tali turned and interjected. "I'm sorry, Shepard. I didn't mean to be so forward, so…unprofessional with you. A lot has happened between us in the last several days and I didn't mean to jump to conclusions or pressure you. I just wanted to tell you how I feel. But you've been through a lot lately, seen…a lot. I didn't mean to push, to be so…selfish. I'm sorry." Tali's shoulders sagged as she ran out of breath, her arms crossed protectively, hugging herself.

Shepard stood confused. The last thing he wanted was for Tali to be upset, or to think he was upset. "What is this about, Tali? You've never been selfish. If anything you've put others first too much. Hell, you nearly got killed protecting me. I'm sorry it took almost losing you to realize the feelings I have for you. I couldn't have been happier than when you told me that you had feelings for me. I want to discover what those feelings are, for both of us." Shepard thought about what she had just said, that he had 'seen a lot'. "Did I cross a line by seeing your face? I imagine that is an important step for a Quarian."

"What? No, Shepard. I mean, well, yes, but no. You could not have been more respectful toward me. To sit with me for so long and refuse to steal a look…no, you saw my face when I wished it, not before. I meant you had been through so much with…", Tali hesitated and squirmed a bit, "with what happened with Liara. I was talking with Kelly and she seemed worried about you possibly getting hurt again so soon after…you know."

After his relationship with Liara imploded. Or exploded. Mordin never did tell him if he had figured out which it was. The corner of Shepard's mouth quirked up in a half-smile at the memory. He had been through a lot with Liara. Now he had been through a lot with Tali. One of the stray anxieties that had been buffeting him suddenly snapped into focus. He had been through a lot with Liara. Those intense experiences had been a catalyst for their attraction. Was he doing the same thing again with Tali? Were the things he was feeling real or just an illusion created by their own intense experiences? Was whatever she was feeling real? Shepard mentally grabbed his doubts and did his best to throttle them. No, they had spent so much time together when things were calm, just talking, just enjoying each other's company. No. No, this was no illusion, no trick of adrenaline.

Shepard realized Tali had again begun to wring her hands as she waited for him to process whatever jumble of thoughts and feelings were roiling around in his head and heart. He took her hands in his own, gently, and looked into the points of light that were her eyes. "Tali, I'm still figuring this out, but I think I feel the way I feel because of me and because of you. Not because of Liara, or the Exterminator, or the drama of the last week. I've liked being around you from the moment I met you. I've considered you a good friend from our time on the original Normandy. I respect your abilities, your intelligence, your self-sacrifice, and…more, stuff, I can't put into words. I meant what I said on Ilium that you were beautiful before I ever saw your face. I want to figure these feelings out with you, Tali. I hope you want to do that as well."

"Oh, Shepard, do you really mean…of course you mean, you wouldn't say it if you…" Shepard could see Tali was struggling to process her own thoughts and doubts. Shepard waited as patiently as he could, knowing the difficulty of that struggle. Tali nodded slightly to herself as if she had come to some decision, then raised her eyes to again meet Shepard's. "I had no experience with humans, Shepard, before I met you. I wasn't sure what to think, even after you saved me from Saren's assassins and I joined your crew. So I watched to see what kind of man I had sworn to help. I watched you struggle with every sacrifice. The death of Kaidan. The necessity of destroying the genophage cure. The loss of so many when you ordered your people to save the council from the Geth and Sovereign. My respect for you and…more…has grown as I've seen the man you are. I've tried to be there for you, wished I could take that pain for you, but I never believed you could see me as more than…that you could see past this." Tali gestured at her helmet and suit.

Shepard took Tali's hand back into his own. "I don't know what this is yet, Tali. But I see you. And I want to figure this out together." Shepard smiled, remembering the hospital. "So, it was okay that I saw your face. I didn't break any Quarian rules?"

"Ha, yes, Shepard. I asked you to look at me. To show someone your uncovered face is a gesture of trust among Quarians, though usually the circumstances aren't quite so dramatic. I haven't regretted for a moment my choice to ask you to look at me." Tali's voice drifted, as if she too were remembering that moment and her own choice. "Probably the only more significant gesture among Quarians is linking suits."

"Linking suits? What do you mean by that?"

"Well, Quarians may choose to link their suits, essentially sharing a single environment. We get sick initially, but then we adapt to each other and eventually can share the same environment without illness. It's one of the greatest acts of trust, of acceptance, that Quarians can share. I haven't trusted anyone enough for that, though. Except, well…no Quarians. Um, you know what I mean."

"Tali, it's okay. I appreciate the thought and I feel the same way, I'd be honored to link suits with you, but you don't have to prove anything to me."

Tali's agitation seemed to increase after this reassurance, to Shepard's further confusion. "I know, Shepard. Well, not that I know, but I didn't mean it like that. It's, um… Wow, it's really hot in here. It's just that the tradition also signifies a willingness for, um, intimacy. I wasn't trying to…it's not always like that. It's more…How did we even end up talking about this?"

Shepard finally recognized the source of Tali's increased nervousness. "Whoa, Tali. I get it. We were talking about trust. Anything more is probably getting ahead of ourselves. I think you're amazing, Tali, and I definitely think you're attractive, but we should probably figure out if we really want to be with each other before we jump to being with each other." Shepard felt a bit silly dancing around the topic of sexual attraction, but he realized he wasn't sure where the cultural boundaries for Quarians were on the topic.

Tali exhaled with relief. "Thank you, Shepard. It would be ridiculous to jump straight into a conversation about, that, before we even figure out how we're really feeling. So, how do humans figure these things out? How do you know if you really want to be with someone?"

Shepard reached up to rub the stubble on his chin. He had never really thought about it before, certainly never expected to have to explain the concept, but Tali had a fair point. How could they figure this out? "That's, actually, a really good question, Tali." Shepard mulled some more while Tali stood, still nervous, but also attentive. This might be the path that would allow them to figure this out. Shepard snapped his fingers as an idea occurred to him. "Of course, we'll go on a date. Just the two of us. Spending time away from the ship and the mission, doing something other than blasting Geth or Collectors."

"We've always done well together in combat, Shepard. What would we do on a…date?"

"A date, Tali. We could do anything we wanted. We could do something just for fun. What sort of things did you do for fun on the migrant fleet?"

"I'm afraid I'm really not experienced…I mean I haven't really…We didn't really…date…much on the migrant fleet."

Shepard cocked his head slightly in confusion. "So what did you do with your free time, or if you were attracted to someone, or just with a group of friends?"

Tali shifted from foot to foot, becoming even more agitated. "We really just…didn't. I really…didn't. I grew up, every Quarian did, hearing about all the things we have to do as a people to survive in a universe that is constantly trying to kill us. When it came to relationships, we were told stories to teach us lessons, like the story of Elma'Turl vas Micross. In the first generations after we fled Rannoch, we were lost, just trying to survive day-to-day. Some pursued their passions, expecting they would die soon and seeing no reason for restraint. No one was thinking of the longer term genetic stability of the population. A young man wanted to marry Elma, but found out they were related. He then tried to find another woman to marry, but kept finding out he was related to each woman he desired. Then his mother revealed that the man he thought was his father was not actually his father, so he was not related to any of these women."

Tali shook her head and chuckled slightly. "It's a silly story. I doubt it's even true. I laughed at it as I was growing up. But I can still sing the song that went with the story. It and other stories stuck with me and taught me important lessons about Quarian life. The people in the story are foolish and show us to take relationships seriously. When we commit to a relationship, we mean it. We live in close proximity on the ships, so a bad relationship can affect a lot of people. The story also reminds us that we won't live on the same ship we grow up on, and why that is. For genetic diversity, when we return from our pilgrimage we go to a different ship than the one we were raised on. That means there is little reason to start a close relationship before the pilgrimage since it is rarely the case that the people you are around as a teenager will be the people you are around as an adult."

Shepard was stunned. It sounded like a lonely life. Among so many, but at the same time cut off, separate. Cut off at times as much by cultural necessity as by the suits they wore. Thinking of the group over the individual, even oneself, especially oneself. "How do you possibly meet anybody like that? I don't mean any disrespect, Tali, but how do Quarians…find each other?"

Tali sighed. "Often, it isn't easy. It's not like we have the resources to take teenagers on field trips between ships. Sometimes two people might simply meet on the ship they go to after returning from pilgrimage. Often ships will make it known when they have eligible men and women, it can be an important draw to bring those returning from pilgrimage to a particular ship. Sometimes families have connections across ships and plan marriages from when the children are young."

Shepard was shocked by this. "It sounds like you are talking about arranged marriage, Tali. Do Quarians ever force their children into marriages?" Shepard found the possibility disturbing and had to remind himself that Tali came from a society quite literally alien to his own.

"What? No, Shepard. No. At least, Quarian law says that no one can be forced to marry against their will. It doesn't say anything about raising a child with the expectation that he or she will go to a particular ship and marry a particular person. If you grow up believing something, being told something over and over, you will probably end up living out that belief. I've never heard of anyone being forced into an arranged marriage, but I'd be lying if I said it was impossible. It's one more reason why we need to go home, to Rannoch. Life on the migrant fleet can be desperate, and desperate people do desperate things, even if that desperation stretches over three hundred years."

"It must have been even more difficult for you, as the daughter of an Admiral. There must have been a lot of pressure on you. A lot of…expectations. I hope being here with me, pursuing this, doesn't cause you any problems with your people."

Tali appeared lost in her thoughts. After several seconds she shook her head. "No, Shepard. You are a friend to the Quarian people, respected by them and, more importantly, by me. My father won't approve..." Tali stopped short as she stumbled unexpectedly across the reality that her father was gone, that he could no longer give or refuse his approval. Shepard took her into a hug, holding her as she stopped and just breathed for several seconds, refusing to completely lose her composure. He was reminded of how he had held her on the Alarei after they had found the body of her father. Comforting her in the face of her loss, being there for her. After several seconds she spoke again, finishing her thought. "My father would not have approved of me pursuing a relationship with you, but I hope, I have to believe he would have respected my decision to follow my heart. So tell me, Shepard. What do you think our next step should be?"

This was not where Shepard had expected his supposedly simple question about dating to go. It was clear he had a lot to learn about Quarian social norms and behavior. If they were going to figure out what they were feeling he would have to navigate that complexity. Or side-step it. They weren't on the flotilla, after all.

"I'm sorry, Tali. I didn't mean to stir up…so much. I want to understand how Quarians get to know each other, but my ignorance is really showing. I'll tell you what. How about if I introduce you to human dating? I'll plan things out and take you out on a real date. We can see where things go and where our feelings take us and you can see what the human concept of a date is. What do you say?"

"I say that sounds like a wonderful idea, Shepard. I would love to go on a…date…with you." She cocked her head in what he had come to recognize as a smile. "Is there anything you would need me to do to help with this date?"

"You don't need to do a thing, Tali. Leave it to me. Give me a little time. I'll set things up and let you know when I'm ready." Shepard was nearly bouncing as his excitement with this plan surged.

"You do not have a good track record on plans working out as intended, Shepard. Should I be expecting a sudden Geth attack or Collector ambush as part of this date?"

Shepard smiled wryly at Tali. "Very funny. Everything will be perfectly safe. You have my guarantee. If I do see any problems I'll send up a flare or signal you in Morse code or something."

"So I should bring flares, just in case? I like codes, but I've never heard of Morse code."

"It's an old Earth communication code. It's never completely died out, despite other codes and communication methods being developed. It's pretty simple. I learned it as a kid, mostly for fun. You can bring flares if it makes you feel better, but I've got this covered." Shepard was grinning broadly, a real sense of excitement pushing aside the anxiety he had been feeling. He took Tali in another hug, then began backing down the walkway toward the exit. His step had a bounce as he contemplated the idea of spending time with Tali. "I've got to run, Tali. I've got planning to do. Don't worry about a thing. This date is going to be perfect."