Birthday Surprises

(One shot) What do you get for a girl that thinks you're cheap in every way possible?

"AUGH!" Sanderson threw up his hands in frustration as he crumpled up another piece of paper and threw it over his shoulder to join the pile already sitting by his bedroom door.

"Why can't I write a rhyming poem? I'm a freaking rapper, for crying out loud!" He hit his head on the desk and just laid facedown, sprawling paper and pens everywhere. Charmy and Astro's 22nd birthday (in human years) was coming up, and he already decided to give her brother a bunch of sex toys to add to his collection. But he had no clue what to get Charmy this year.

"Think...think!" Last year, he gave her a stapler and some pens because he was cheap, and she used it to make an impressive mallet to whack him with whenever she was reminded of Sanderson's stinginess. So he vowed to get her something that she couldn't make into a weapon of some sort, and decided on a poem. It was harmless enough, and the worst thing he could get from it was paper cuts.

"I can't believe we've through so much this past year, but I can't write jack about it!" Sanderson moaned. Considering that they've been dating for a while, but would never admit that they were a couple, they acted like any adult would. Like immature little brats. Charmy was a feisty one, and nobody didn't think he could tame her. Her attitude, her rudeness, her 'daddy's girl' routine…it drove Sanderson nuts. But you know what they say, 'opposites attract'...and they were certainly were as opposite as anyone could get.

"...Write something about her. You know, like her eyes, hair...personality..." Sanderson looked up to see Astro's head pop into the room.

"Since when did you come in?" He asked. The dark-blue haired young man shrugged.

"You're loud, so I figured I'd come up and see what's up." He grinned before he disappeared. Sanderson sweatdropped and went back to his poem. The party was going to start soon, and he still hadn't got anything written down. He tapped the pen to the desk and thought hard. At that point, he heard a screech of tires and a cat's hissing outside.

"Hey wait a second...I've got it!" He said happily.

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The party was in full swing by the time Sanderson went downstairs with smudges of ink on his face and hands as he held the poem. Charmy was sitting in a chair and chatting with party guests when the pixie walked up to her. Sanderson was miffed at the gifts that were stacked a few feet high on the table next to him, but he figured a poem was better than nothing.

"Um, Charmy?" He asked. She stopped talking to smile at him.

"Yes, Eddie?"

"I was too cheap to buy you a present, so I made this poem for you." He said flatly as he heard the disappointment in her voice that he didn't get a present once again. Charmy took the poem and started reading it out loud. People around her listened and tried not to laugh.

I'm Your Pervert

By: Eddie Sanderson

I'm your pervert, yes indeed.

You are the only one for me.

I may be a doofus, but certainly not stupid,

I have realized that you are the greatest thing to ever happen to me.

Your eyes may be like a pool of chlorine, you may use too much perfume,

You may dress kinda skanky, and your hair may be as curly as a poodle that just came from the dry cleaners,

But you are the only one for me.

I love you, Charmy, yes I do...I love you, yes it's true.

I am your pervert, you call me it everyday.

I am your pervert, I guess it's my day to admit it to you.

You might be wierd, and somewhat remind me of a masculine girl,

You're kinda bitchy, but I love that about you.

You're an airhead, and you're sometimes dumb,

I know this poem is kinda insulting, but hey this stuff is true,

So don't hit me, because I'd just laugh and hit you back.

Charmy, happy birthday to you, I hope you like this gift,

It's not cheap, and it's not plastic,

It's a gift from my heart, to you from me.

So don't be all whining and saying that I didn't get you nothing,

Because this counts as well,

I have another gift for you, I hope you love it as much as I had fun writing this dumb poem for you.

Charmy put down the poem, and looked at Sanderson with the most wierdest look she could muster. Everyone wondered if Sanderson had a chance to run out the door before he would be shredded into confetti. The pixie chuckled nervously and started to tiptoe away from the scene before Charmy got up. He froze in midstep and started praying that she wouldn't hit him in the crotch again like last year.

"Sanderson..." She said. He turned around.

"Yes?" He asked. Charmy wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned in, gently kissing him on the lips. The pixie's eyes grew in surprise as he realized he was being kissed by the person whom he adored for as long as he could remember, (which is probably the past 15 minutes, XD) and blushed as red as the punch in the bowl. Charmy pulled away and smirked at him as the audience whooped hollered in the background.

"It's crappy, and the rhymes were bad, but that's the best present I've ever recieved." She whispered in his ear. Sanderson was too dazed about the kiss to think about it.

"R...Really?" He asked. She nodded before she took off his sunglasses and kicked him in the shin with her high-heeled boots.

"...And that's for giving me a lousy birthday gift last year!" She said, tossing her hair and walking back to the living room where their cake and ice cream was. Sanderson winced as he rubbed his leg, imagining a big bruise forming right now. Astro grinned as he walked up to Sanderson and waved some toys around.

"Hey thanks, dude...how'd you know what I collect?" He asked. Sanderson got this wierd look on his face.

"Uh...because every guy has to have at least some?" He asked, trying to think of an answer. Astro snickered and shook his head.

"You're an idiot...but you're Charmy's idiot." The pixie chuckled a bit and shrugged.

"I try not to think about it too much." Suddenly the heard a scream of excitement, and they walked quickly into the living room.

"OH MY GOD! MY VERY OWN PUPPY!" Charmy's hands were clapped to her mouth as she saw achestnut colored beagal come out of the cake. She didn't care if she got frosting all over her as she picked up the shivering cake covered dog. Sanderson gritted his teeth in jealousy but said not a word. While everyone oohed and aahed over the puppy, she quietly read the tag on the dog's collar and smiled secretly at Sanderson.

Hi Charmy! My name's Eddie! Pleased to meet you! I hope we become good friends! The pixie looked confused. He didn't get her a puppy...did he? He was about to say that, but Astro winked at him and shook his head when Charmy turned to show off her puppy.

"Shh...she doesn't know I got her a dog...I figured that since you are too cheap, I went shopping for you." Sanderson didn't know what to say.

"Um...thank you." He said. Astro smirked.

"Hey, it's the least I can do for my future brother-in-law." Sanderson blinked as Astro walked away to eat some cake.

"Eh? What are you talking about? Is somebody gonna get proposed to?" He asked. The fairy just smirked.

"Tell me!" He whined.

The End