AN: Just a quick story of Peeta and Katniss in the train during the Victory Tour. Please read and relax. And as always, I don't own the Hunger Games.
He laid in bed silently, enjoying the stillness inside the train. It was difficult to fathom how calm everything felt when they were actually traveling at intense speeds through District 8. Peeta found it odd that the President insisted they take the train when an airship or hovercraft would have worked just as well.
The train was sleek, fast, and serene while Peeta was clumsy, slow, and filled with inner turmoil. President Snow must have a very strange sense of humor to continually put him in there, but Peeta wasn't too terribly concerned about that right now. There were more important issues that needed to be resolved.
The Victory Tour had been underway for a few days now, and things hadn't started off well. When everyone boarded the train in District 12, he and Katniss were barely on speaking terms. Their first few public appearances ended in brawls and uprisings, and he just learned that the President had made some not-too-subtle threats against his life.
Haymitch told the young victors to just read the cards and try to look relaxed and in love. Like that would be easy. Reading the cards was one thing, but Peeta was barely able to look relaxed and in love at home. Now he was on stage, asked to speak in public, and then grapple with the fact that he would have to face the consequences if things went awry. It was a recipe for disaster.
Looking back at the last few days, Peeta was just glad Katniss wasn't throwing any more knives yet. The stress he felt was nothing compared to what she must be going through right now. Snow threatened her with all the things she feared most, and Peeta could tell she was barely holding it together. Who knew how long it would be before she jumped off the deep end?
Working on strategies for how to handle the next few weeks seemed to help Katniss control some of her nervous energy. It also gave Peeta a positive goal to focus on while everything else was going to hell.
When he had a few moments to sit back and reflect, Peeta still found time to be glad he and Katniss were speaking again. Planning PR strategies hadn't been the way he imaged reconciling with her, but at least they were able to hold a conversation.
Peeta remembered when he and one of his brothers used to fight. Their mother would shut them away in a room together until they had resolved their differences. With no place to run, it was only a matter of time before they would make up or kill one another. And none of his siblings had died yet.
This train felt almost the same. Though there were many more rooms where they could separate themselves into, it was unavoidable for them to see each other. There was only so much space on the train, and they had to make all their public appearances together over the next few weeks.
Peeta knew that it would be a while before they would be completely OK with each other. But there was hope. A few hours ago, Katniss had taken a new step in their relationship. She had asked him to stay the night with her. She had done this before, but never when she didn't have to put on a show for the cameras.
He understood that she only wanted him there to see if having someone else near her might calm some of her nightmares. Anyone else might feel used, but Peeta was more than thrilled. Even if it didn't necessarily help, it meant he could be close to her again.
After they won the Hunger Games, he hoped that they would be able to continue the relationship that started in the arena. He hadn't realized that her feelings for him were pretend until they had already jumped down the rabbit hole. She seemed so genuine at times, and he was so madly happy at having the girl of his dreams finally accept him, he didn't think to question it.
Learning that she did not feel the same was difficult. It even bordered on humiliating considering how publicly they had declared their feelings for one another. For months, he lived in a state of suspension wondering what he should do. She didn't want him, so he tried to move on, but he was unable to do so.
Everyone else around him seemed to push them towards one another. Everywhere he went, he was constantly reminded of his "girlfriend". Peeta knew that everyone was trying to be supportive, but it just made him feel worse. It was a constant reminder of the one thing he had always wanted and was no longer able to have.
He considered making some kind of public statement that he and Katniss were no longer together, but that would have caused some kind of public outcry. It would be more trouble than he wanted. And even if the public hadn't been so involved in his decision, he wouldn't have been able to completely move on anyway. He loved her, and he couldn't imagine not having her in his life. So in the end, he decided to stand by her.
The last few months had been the hardest. Peeta struggled to find some kind of useful reason to be in her life, thinking that would ease some of the awkwardness between them. They lived across the garden from each other in the Victor's Village, and he would bake them bread and pastries. But it didn't feel like enough.
Looking down at her sleeping next to him, he was glad to actually be able to really help her for once. It was nice having her rely on him like this. It gave him hope that maybe one day they would be able to rekindle the relationship that they had started earlier that year. Only this time, it he hoped that it would be real.
He wanted Katniss to be a real partner, not just someone who was pretending because her life depended on it. He wanted to be able to kiss her with all the pent up emotions that he had been storing inside for the last few years. He wanted her to love him as much as he loved her.
Peeta knew that it would take more time before anything like that happened. While he had been in love with her for years, she barely had time to get to know him. They hadn't been able to spend any real, quality time together. He knew that he had not yet proven himself, and that he could not expect Katniss to want to move forward with their relationship until that happened.
She mumbled and fidgeted in his arms, bringing him out of his reverie. Another nightmare? He wondered. Peeta smoothed her hair, and shushed her quietly. She tensed momentarily at the contact, but then relaxed once more. Whatever thoughts were running through her brain were now fading.
It was a small accomplishment, but it was another step in the right direction. He wanted to make many more of those kinds of steps in the coming weeks. After the Victory Tour ends, he figured things would go back to how they had been before they left. Awkward. He only had so much time on this tour to convince her that he was worth spending time with outside of all this craziness. Time was of the essence.
He wanted to do something that would make her realize he still cared for her the same way he always had, that he didn't care if she didn't feel the same just yet. He would wait for her until she was ready.
The problem with Katniss was that sometimes she just didn't realize when someone was making any kind of subtle romantic gesture. She was a girl of action, not a girl of romance, and she didn't always pick up on the nuances. Frustrating through it may be, Peeta knew that he would just have to preserver. All good things come to those who wait.
Peeta thought on this for about twenty minutes, trying to figure out the best way to show his affection. It wasn't a new topic for him to think about, but he never managed to make any headway with it.
He looked down at her once more, mockingly thinking of how frustrating she could be. He then realized the best way would be to confront her, but this didn't seem like a good idea. He wasn't ready to bring it up again when she was conscious enough to argue back. There was no need to force her into an argument with everything else going on.
Maybe, he thought, I will tell her while she can't argue. Like now. So he did.
"I love you," he whispered to her. He prayed that she would not wake up at the sudden noise. Everything else was so quiet, it could have startled her. But it didn't.
She remained asleep, so he continued. "I don't think you feel the same about me, and that's ok. I mean, I wish you felt the same, but I understand. I just want you to know that I love you. No matter what, we are going to make it through this. I promise."
The longer he spoke, the more she turned into his chest. It was almost as if the sound of his voice drew her closer. She smiled lightly in to his chest and whispered his name.
Peeta froze momentarily, unsure if he actually had woken her. He moved slightly to get a better look at her, but she was still completely asleep.
Was she dreaming about me? He wondered.
He smiled in return and kissed her on the forehead. Again she did not make any motion that would show she had woken up. She must have been dreaming…maybe she does have feelings for me…
He had been watching her closely for weeks, and this was the first indication he had received that they were more than just co-victors. Peeta placed his head back against the pillow, and tried not to think it. But soon, it was the only thing he could think about.
What did this mean? Does she really care about me? Well, does she really care about me like that? What about Gale? Why hasn't she said anything since the Games? And WHY did she do this when she's asleep and I can't ask her. Does this even really count?!
He boiled with questions until he decided it wasn't worth worrying about. He should be resting, and getting ready handle some of the other crazy things going on right now. He was patient, and he could wait to find out about her feelings. He had already been waiting for the last few years. What's a few more hours?
No matter what the outcome, he knew he wouldn't be able to fake his happiness during his speech tomorrow. Even if it was just a glimmer of hope, this was enough to keep him floating all the way through.
The End!