Title: "You'll Always Be the One to Find Me"
Author: loveisepic (LoVefan4ever)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: language
Word Count: 9125
Characters/Pairings: Logan/Veronica, slight Logan/Parker, slight Veronica/Piz, Mac, Dick, OMC
Summary: Veronica finds out that Logan the promise he made was true… he'll always be there for her no matter what.
Spoilers: Everything up to 3.16, Un-American Graffiti. Goes AU sometime after that episode.
Author's notes: Written for the "Lost in the Dark Challenge" at gogetembobcat community on Livejournal. Not beta'd so probably lots of mistakes because I was in a super big hurry!
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"No dude… I completely understand. It's ok," Logan replied to the voice on the other end of the line. "No. He's supposed to be spending some quote, unquote quality time with some of his frat brothers."
There was silence on his end before he replied back to the caller.
"I know dude… textbook homosexual denial," Logan said, laughing. "Seriously though, they treat him like family and with what he's been through… well lets just say I can sympathize."
Again silence came from Logan's end as he listened to the other voice.
"That sounds great man. I'll catch you on the flipside."
"So I'm taking the trip is off," Parker asked from her position on the couch next to him.
"Yeah, Casey had to deal with some stuff that came up at his company. He needed to take care of it before he went back to school."
"He has his own company," Parker asked incredulously.
"Well technically his parents are running it until he finishes school, but he has control over any big decisions."
"Wow. Do you have any friends who aren't rich?"
"Veronica," he stated simply.
"Besides Veronica and her inner sanctum of hero worshipers," she said, a little too bitterly.
"Now, now, no need to be jealous… I thought you and Veronica were still friends? And being rich isn't all it's cracked up to be… if you don't believe me, just ask Dick.'
Parker sighed, attempting to regain her composer. She was trying to keep Veronica as a friend but it was so hard to ignore the little glint of regret that flashed in Logan's eyes whenever her name came up or she came around. She may be blond but she wasn't stupid. But maybe she was just a bit naive to think that she would ever be able to replace Veronica. Her and Logan had history and lots of it. A history that involved death and long lost friends and much more that she doubted she'd ever be privileged enough to know.
"Hey… I'm sorry, for all of it… let's just… I know, you can come with me to Denver to meet my parents," Parker exclaimed excitedly.
Inwardly Logan groaned. That was definitely not how he wanted to spend his spring break.
"Parker, I'm pretty sure I'm listed as the big bad wolf in 'A Parent's guide to your daughter dating.' In fact it probably has my mug shot in the margin as an example. Can't we do the obligatory meet the parents thing some other time… like lets say… never?"
"But Logan, my parents want me to come home for spring break and I really, really wanted to spend it with you," Parker whined. "Besides, once they meet you I'm sure they will love you."
"Yeah, not going to happen, not even if I saved you from a mass murder. Trust me, I know." Logan replied bitterly.
"You can be so melodramatic sometimes. Mass murders? Big bad wolf? Really, Logan, just be your charming, wonderful self."
Logan pulled her into his lap and pushed the hair away from her face.
"You think I'm charming and wonderful?"
"Oh, come on. You don't need me to feed your ego. You already know that you are," she told him as she leaned in to place a light peck on his lips. "Please… I just want to spend some time with you away from Neptune."
"Ok, but it will cost you," he said, wiggling his eyebrows.
Parker captured his lips with her own, kissing him fully this time.
"A price I'll gladly pay," she responded between kisses, giggling.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Veronica… this is serious stuff. You know what you're getting into don't you," Mac asked concerned.
"I'm sorry Mac… I don't mean to pull you into anything dangerous. I shouldn't have asked you."
"Oh, no… you're not getting off that easily. I said I'd help you and I will. I'm just doing a couple of things on the computer… it's you I'm worried about. You can't keep taking on risks like this. You know I usually try to mind my own business, but even I'm a little wary of this one and you should be too."
"Mac… I'll be fine… it's just a little background stuff and some under the radar digging. I won't be doing any field investigations… I promise," Veronica said, trying to placate her friend.
The truth was, she was a little nervous about the investigation herself but this had the potential to be big, very big. Big enough to impress the good 'ole boys club at the bureau. All she had to do was get the ball rolling and then she could hand it over to the authorities on a silver platter. She meant what she told Mac; this would be done strictly from the sidelines.
Mac sighed, her decision made.
"Ok… if you say so. I'm going to need at least a couple of days of uninterrupted time if you want me to do this, though. And I'm also going to need a quiet, secluded spot, somewhere pretty far away so they can't track it back to Neptune," Mac told her seriously.
Veronica thought for a moment before coming up with an idea.
"Logan's cabin. It will be perfect. It's only a fourteen hour drive from here and we can be in and out without anyone knowing where we went."
"What? He has a cabin and you want to use it? I think you've finally lost your mind. Besides, I don't think Logan would ever go for us being up there all by ourselves and you know he's going to know why."
"Well, we just won't tell him. It's in Aspen and last I heard he was hitting the waves in Mexico with Dick or something."
"Yeah, I heard but I actually think its Casey. I only know this because I had to listen to Parker complain about it for the past two weeks. She's a little less than pleased since she has to spend spring break with her parents."
Veronica snorted. "Well I somehow doubt Logan would be taking her along to Mexico even if she weren't."
"So we're going to break into Logan's cabin in Aspen while he's having fun in the sun," Mac asked, changing the subject back to safer territory.
"It won't be breaking in. I have a key."
"Of course you do. Every ex-girlfriend has keys to their ex-boyfriend's vacation home. That makes sense."
"It's not like that. He gave me a key in case something was to happen and he couldn't get there for some reason. When we… parted ways, I offered to give it back but he told me to keep it. He said he didn't trust anyone else. I'm thinking we should go up and check on things… you know… make sure everything is in working order."
"Hmmmm… a nefarious plan, justified. I think I like it."
"I'll ask Piz, too. I need a cover for my Dad and for some reason my Dad likes him. More importantly he trusts him. If I tell him you and I are going out of town by ourselves he'll suspect something. So as far as anyone else is concerned, this will just be a normal spring break getaway. You can ask Max and you two can make mad computer love," Veronica said, smiling.
"Very funny."
"Just remember… mum's the word. We can't let anyone else know what we're doing or especially where we're going."
"My lips, for all intents and purposes, are sealed."
"Great. We'll leave first thing in the morning."
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"Dude… he totally never uses it. It's probably all cob-webbie and shit. If the place was mine, I'd be flying the ladies up there all the time and letting them have a taste of the dickmiester in the snow."
"Yeah, well… spring break in Aspen? It's not the beach but I could go for some snow bunnies," William admitted.
"Sweet! You're the best big bro ever! So you think they'll be wearing those smoking outfits with the ears and stuff?"
"Dick… those are the playboy bunnies… "
"Damn… there's going to be playboy bunnies and ski bunnies? Dick has gone to heaven. This vacation is going to rock!"
William couldn't help but chuckle. Dick Casablancas was definitely one of a kind.
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If there was one thing Logan Echolls was sure about in his life it was that he was a masochist. He had to be. It was the only explanation for why his ex-girlfriend, uncontested love of his life, was in the living room of his vacation home while he was trying to get away from his current girlfriend's overbearing parents. And of course said girlfriend was standing right beside him probably wondering what the hell his ex-girlfriend, most definitely not the love of his life, she hoped, was sprawled out in front of the fireplace like she owned the place. If Logan wasn't quite sure that this was only going to end badly, he would have found it quite comical. But there was no way it wasn't going to end badly, therefore he didn't find it funny in the least.
Thankfully, Veronica wasn't alone. Lying on her stomach beside her was Mac who appeared to be showing Veronica something on her laptop. And Dick, which was strange for a whole other set of reasons, was playing the game console with a guy Logan recognized as one of his frat brothers. How all of them came to be here, together, was going to be one hell of a story and Logan was very anxious to hear it.
Just as he was about to alert the mix-matched crowd, another trespasser bounded down the steps two at a time, stopping when he saw them. Piz. Right at that moment Logan was wishing that Veronica had been alone.
"Logan… man, uh…," Piz struggled, clearly taken off guard at Logan's presence.
Piz's shock soon alerted the rest of the bunch and they all looked towards the door.
"Logan, dude! You're here. What are you doing here," Dick asked, confused.
"Well, it is my house. I think the better question is what are all of you doing here?"
Veronica jumped up, the shock clearly evident on her face and moved over towards Logan and Parker.
"I can explain, I promise. And I thought you were in Mexico with Casey Gant?"
"Something came up and I decided to visit Denver with Parker instead."
"Oh," Veronica replied, a wave of jealously coursing through her.
"Ok, your turn. Why are you here?"
"Well, Mac and I needed to have some spring break fun. You know, like normal college girls," she started, feigning nonchalance. "But we couldn't afford to really go anywhere big so we decided to drive up here at the last minute. We invited Piz and Max along so that they could protect us from the big, bad wilderness but Max had to bail. We had no idea Dick was coming. He showed up a couple of hours after we got here."
"Why do I not believe you?"
"Like I would plan anything with Dick."
"That's not what I was talking about," Logan replied, giving her a pointed look.
Parker was tired of standing on the sidelines watching Veronica's innocent little act. And she was even more tired of Logan trying to act like he wasn't ecstatic that she was here, Piz or no Piz.
"How did you get in," she asked accusingly.
"I have a key."
"A key," Parker questioned, looking to her boyfriend for clarification.
"I gave it to her… a while back," he replied, looking down at the floor at his feet that were shuffling nervously.
He looked up, fixing Veronica with a look of fond remembrance before looking back at Parker. It was clear that the conversation regarding the key was not up for discussion.
Logan turned his interrogation towards Dick, deciding that he would find out what Veronica was up to later.
"So Dick, mind telling me why you're here? I don't ever remember giving you a key."
"Dude… my big bro and I needed a change in chick scenery. Beach babes are fine but the snow bunnies need a little Dick to warm them up."
"And how did you plan on getting in?"
"I dunna know… I guess I thought we'd figure it out when we got here. But Veronica was like psychic or something. She totally knew we'd need the key."
"As I've said a hundred times in the past three days, Dick, I didn't know you were going to be here or I sure as hell wouldn't have come," Veronica told him, clearly frustrated.
"Awwwhhh, Ronnie… it's ok for you and ghostworld to admit that you've liked having the Dickster around."
"Stop calling me that, Dick," Mac shouted from her place in front of the fireplace.
Veronica noticed that the frustration in Mac's voice had given way to only mild annoyance over the past couple of days. If she didn't know any better she would have sworn that she even liked it just a little. But that would be impossible because she was Mac and he was Dick and that was pretty much all that needed to be said on the subject.
"So… did the 'rents catch you guys knockin' boots or something," Dick asked Logan and Parker.
Logan stole a quick glance over at Veronica to gauge her reaction before he answered him. Of course her face was back to stone, a mask of indifference. Any sign that Logan and Parker being there together affected her was long gone, if it ever was there at all.
"No Dick. We just cut the trip a bit short because we needed some time alone… and apparently we won't be getting any of that either," mumbling the last part.
He heard Parker huff from beside him before she grabbed him by the arm.
"Logan… can I talk to you a second… alone."
He knew this wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation but he went willingly anyway.
"Logan… You begged for us to leave my parents house, over much objection on their part I might add, to come here and be alone. Can't you just tell them to leave?"
"Parker… they're my friends… I'm not going to kick them out."
"No what you mean is that its Veronica… you're not going to kick her out."
"Look, either you're Veronica's friend or you're not. Pick something… I don't care. But this jealous girlfriend stuff has got to stop. Veronica is Veronica and everything that comes with that. That is never going to change so you're just going to have to learn to deal with it."
Parker heaved a large sigh before replying. She had always known that it would be an uphill battle to gain Logan's affections but she hadn't really counted on it being as hard as it had been.
"You're right… I'm sorry… let's just go back in there and have fun with our friends. We can have alone time later… in the bedroom."
"I like the way you think. See, there is something to be said for compromise," Logan replied with a sideways smirk.
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Veronica didn't know how much more she could take. Parker's flirtations were bad enough but Logan's reciprocations were about to make her throw up. And even worse, she didn't know if it was genuine or he was doing it just to piss her off. They both were equally disgusting.
She was trying to relax while Piz was touching her, she really was, but somehow being in the same room with Logan made her feel dirty, like no one should be touching her but him. It was ridiculous, she knew, but Piz's attempts at marking his territory were clumsy at best and she longed for the touch another women in the room was getting.
Maybe she was getting over the Madison thing or maybe she already was despite her angry promises otherwise. Her ability to even come to Aspen should have been a clue. Even though she later found out that they were together at Madison's hotel and not in his cabin, just the word Aspen in general had been thoughts non grata. Maybe she had already forgiven him in her heart and forgot to tell her head. She had been known to hold a grudge once or twice. Whatever the case was, it wouldn't be Piz who filled her dreams tonight. It would be Logan and his big strong hands which, she noted with envy, were currently rubbing circles along another blonde's back.
That was it. That was all she could take. She couldn't take any more reminders of how happy Logan was without her, how he had found love so soon after he claimed to love her and only her. And what hurt the most was that she couldn't take Logan looking happier right then than she ever remembered him being with her. More than anything, that stung, deeply.
"I'm going to bed," Veronica declared, standing up suddenly. "You coming Piz?"
He looked at her liked an excited puppy and she felt a little bit sorry that she didn't really want him to come. She'd really rather had some alone time, time to go over the case, but the look on Logan's face when she invited him was worth it. He had been torturing her all night, intentional or not, and it was his turn to wonder what they were doing behind closed doors. It was petty and she knew it but as Parker leaned into Logan's side, cuddling up in a place she had no right being, she couldn't bring herself to care.
As soon as they got to their room, Piz shut the door and began kissing Veronica. She allowed herself to be receptive, after all she did need to get her mind of Logan. He backed her to the bed, causing her to fall back on it when the back of her knees found the mattress.
She heard giggling from somewhere close and she knew that Logan and Parker had decided to retire, too. Visions of Logan doing things to Parker morphed into him doing things to her and Piz suddenly became only a vessel for her subconscious thoughts. She pulled away suddenly, realizing that she couldn't do that to Piz. She couldn't be intimate with him when her mind was clearly imagining someone else entirely.
"I'm sorry Piz. I can't… not right now. I just… I just need some air. I think that hamburger I had for dinner didn't sit with me well."
"It's ok. I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do? I could go with you to get some air… maybe a midnight stroll?"
"I appreciate it, Piz… I really do, but I'd like to be alone for a bit. I'm working on a case and it's been occupying a lot of my thoughts lately. It just wouldn't be fair to you. Let me go out and get some air for a while, clear my head and I'll be back. And then we can pick up where we left off," she told him, forcing a smile.
"Sure. That would be great. Just be careful, ok?"
"I will. I'm just going to walk down to the lake. It's not far… just behind the cabin. I'll be back before you know it."
Veronica grabbed her jacket and a flashlight from one of the drawers and left out the sliding glass door, stepping out onto the second floor balcony before heading down the stairs and to the lake.
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The lake wasn't nearly far enough to dispel her demons, at least the ones from tonight anyway. She wanted to be mature, to be happy for Logan, after all, she was the one who told him that she would never be able to forgive him. But the only other woman who had any right to Logan in Veronica's mind was Lilly and she'd stopped feeling guilty about that a long time ago.
She was stubborn. This she knew. To a fault, most would say. But what had failed her in love had made her a survivor thus far and she couldn't give up on those things now, even for Logan. Especially for Logan.
If she remembered correctly from the one time her, Lilly and Duncan had joined the Echolls for a couple of weeks during the summer, there was a trail that started just to the left of the lake and continued around the outer edge. That just might be long enough to clear her head and keep her from killing Logan or resenting Piz, for now.
It was way past dark but she had her flashlight and Piz knew she was going to the lake for some air so she would be fine. Fortunately, April in Aspen had been fairly temperate, comparatively speaking, and the only snow that could be found were in places that hadn't seen the sun in days and on the slopes where the big bad snow machines were cranking it out in droves. A quiet walk in the clear, brisk night air was just what she needed. Besides how much trouble could she get if she was just walking a circle around the lake? Shining her flashlight towards the southwest corner of the water she found the beginnings of a footpath and started towards it.
The trail was a little less worn than she thought it'd be. It had been a while since anyone had been up here but she remembered it being fairly well worn, the only lingering undergrowth near the water's edge. She shined her light over to her right, expecting to see it reflected back, only to find more brush in front of a complete darkness. This worried her slightly, but not enough to turn back.
Veronica continued on the trail for what seemed like forever before realizing that she was lost. Lost in the dark, in the cold, tired from walking and a little hungry. But it was still too early to panic. Even with the cold night air and the proverbial scary animal sounds. she was holding herself together quite well. Piz knew that she was out here and he was bound to have sent out a search party by now. The only thing she had to worry about really, was the ear full she would be getting from Logan about how stupid it was to go in the first place. Maybe she needed a little yelling from Logan to remind her about what an ass he was.
Mindlessly theorizing about how possible it was for Logan to get even more obnoxious that he already was, she didn't see the sharp curve the path made. Her foot landed on the side that slanted decidedly downwards, throwing her balance completely off. Before she could catch herself or grab a hold tree that littered the side, Veronica fell with a scream into the same blackness her light had been unable to penetrate before.
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Piz awoke, blinking several times before getting his bearings. The light in the room was still on and he was sprawled haphazardly across the bed. He glanced at the alarm clock on the beside table reading the numbers that told him it was two-thirty in the morning.
As soon as he sat up and looked around he realized two things: He was still in Veronica's room and she wasn't here with him. A slight panic flowed through him before reassuring himself that she was probably downstairs sitting in front of her laptop, working on whatever case that seemed to have her preoccupied before. He decided to be sure, opening the door and making his way quietly down the stairs to the living room.
The fire was going, filling the room with a warm orange glow and giving him enough light that he could see the whole area. Dick was sprawled out on the couch and Piz realized that Logan must have kicked him out of his room since Veronica had already claimed the master bedroom for herself. He wasn't at all surprised that Dick was the one to go.
After finding the living room, kitchen, dining area, his room and the surrounding deck void of a tiny blonde, an uneasiness began to settle in. He made his way to Mac's room, hoping that she came into find him asleep and decide to crash with her. Or maybe they were up late having some girl time. Girls did things like that, right?
Piz knocked softly on her door and heard shuffling on the other side before a disheveled Mac answered.
"Piz…?"
"Hey… sorry to wake you up, but Veronica doesn't happen to be in there with you, does she," he asked, a slight worry in his tone.
"No… why… what's going on Piz?"
"Well… she went for a walk around the lake a little over two hours ago and I don't think she came back," he replied, running his hands through his hair nervously.
"What do you mean you don't think she came back," Mac asked, this time the worry evident in her tone.
"I… uhm… fell asleep waiting on her and I just now woke up. I've looked everywhere except Logan and Parker's room and William's. I kind of doubt she'd be in either of those places," he confessed.
Mac closed her eyes, praying that this wasn't as bad as it seemed. The case flashed through her mind and she quickly shoved it back down. Even if they had found out that Veronica was investigating them they couldn't have tracked them down here, could they have?
"Logan… we have to tell Logan… now," she said resolutely.
"I was afraid you were going to say that."
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"What the hell…" Logan grumbled.
Mac knocked again, this time a little louder and more urgent than before
"I'll get it… just go back to sleep," Parker told him.
She opened the door to find Mac mid knock, worry and fear etched on her face.
"Mac… what's wrong?"
"Uhm… Parker…I need to talk to Logan."
Despite his sleep state, Logan's ears perked up when he heard Mac's voice, and he clearly picked up on the nervousness in it. He sat up in bed but found himself to be completely frozen. It was Veronica. Something was wrong, very, very wrong and he didn't need Mac's words to confirm it.
"Where is she….? What happened…?"
"Where's who," Parker wanted to know. Her question went unanswered.
"She's gone. Missing," Mac replied, ignoring Parker and unsurprised that Logan already seem to know what this was about.
"What do you mean…missing… how could she be missing," Logan asked, clearly frustrated with the events.
"Piz said she went for a walk around the lake just before 12:30 and she hasn't come back yet. He's already checked the entire house."
Logan glanced back at the clock, noting the time.
"It's 2:45… why the hell did you wait so long to tell me?!"
"Apparently Piz fell asleep and didn't know she was gone until he woke up a little bit ago."
"That son-of-a…," he started before looking over at Parker and reigning in his temper.
Things were just starting to get comfortable. He didn't need her seeing him lose his temper over something that had to do with Veronica, at least not yet. Veronica had been around that trail before, he was sure she was fine. Maybe she had just fallen and sprained an ankle. He would tell himself anything to keep his temper in check.
"Ok.. I'll go look for her... I don't need any of the rest of you getting lost. She's probably sitting on some rock cussing because she's turned her ankle or something."
He quickly went downstairs to get a flashlight and a couple of other things he thought he might need, Mac following closely behind. He turned to look at her and his face visibly paled. She knew something that she wasn't telling and he'd bet his life it was what Veronica was hiding earlier.
"Mac… what is it… what aren't you telling me…?"
"I don't know if she'd want me to say anything…. especially if it's nothing and she's really fine… but I'm a little scared Logan… ok… I'm a lot scared."
Logan grabbed her shoulder gently but firmly, squaring her face to look at him directly.
"God… Mac… just tell me… what has Veronica gotten herself into now," he asked, a knot in his stomach growing quickly.
"This lady hired Veronica to find out if her husband was cheating on her. She wanted to keep it on the down-low since her husband is a senator. Anyway, Veronica found out that the senator… Senator Hastings to be exact, was meeting a man in a seedy motel room once or twice a month. At first she thought it was just your typical illicit homosexual affair until she started looking into the other guy. Turns out he's an accountant for Escoto Gourmet Foods."
Logan was growing more fearful with each dot that Mac was connecting. He knew she was going nowhere good with any of it.
"Why do I have feeling that I'm really not going like the next part," he asked worriedly.
"Logan... Escoto Gourmet Foods is rumored to be run by the Escoto Cartel. They supposedly run drugs out of their native Nicaragua on a regular basis but no one can prove it. They seemed to have done a good job of keeping their noses clean but now Veronica thinks that they have an inside man… or several."
"Veronica thinks!!... Veronica thinks!! Veronica shouldn't be anywhere near this shit and neither should you," he said pointing at her, his previously curbed temper now flaring.
He covered his face with his hands trying desperately to get himself under control both for Veronica's sake and the others in the house. There was no use getting them worried if the events turned out to be completely unrelated. But knowing Veronica, they probably were.
"Hey… are you ok," Mac asked him gently. She could clearly see how worried he was for the little blond. She knew the feeling.
Logan's shouting had brought everyone, including William and Dick who had still been asleep up to that point, into the kitchen to see what was going on. Logan turned and addressed the rest of them along with Mac.
"I'm going to look for her but I meant what I said before… I can't risk any of the rest of you getting lost… or worse," he stated tentatively. He wasn't sure how much he should tell them right now.
"Look… don't pull that Neanderthal crap Logan…take someone with you… you won't be any help to Veronica if anything happens to you, too," Mac reprimanded.
"Alright…no, you're right… she stands a better chance if there are more people out looking for her. So who's in?"
Every person in the room quickly raised their hands and affirmed the fact that they were all willing to help. Even Parker raised her hand, watching with a heavy heart as her boyfriend prepared his white horse for the girl that she could never replace.
"Ok… everyone can help but we have to do this my way. Got it?"
"Fine, fine…what's the plan," Piz asked impatiently.
"Mac… you and Parker stay here in case she gets back. Call the state police and make sure you have a good idea about what exactly to tell them when they get here; the more accurate the information, the better. We will keep you updated by our cell phones. Dick… you stay here, too… I don't want them here by themselves. William… you and Piznarski are with me," Logan informed them confidently.
"Alright, then…let's go," William said while he and Piz grabbed their jackets and cell phones.
Logan went over to the kitchen island and grabbed some more flashlights out of one of the drawers. Once he was back in the kitchen Mac grabbed him and pulled him aside, speaking softly, not wanting the others to overhear.
"What if it's nothing Logan… what if it's not them… Veronica wouldn't want us to jeopardize her investigation."
"I don't give a damn what Veronica wants. She's constantly putting herself in danger and one of the days she's going to get herself killed. Her investigation doesn't' mean shit to me… she does…," he trailed off, more softly than he had started.
Mac visibly flinched and he immediately regretted his harsh tone.
"I'm sorry, Mac. It just that…"
"Hey… it's ok… I get it. But to be honest, we're not sure how high up this drug ring goes Logan and what if we put her in unnecessary risk by telling the authorities. Let's let them look for her and if they don't find her by daylight or there is any evidence whatsoever of foul play then will bring them in on it… ok?"
He thought for a moment before agreeing.
"Ok… you're right… but if we haven't found her by six then you have to tell the police everything. And Mac… you and Parker are to stay in the house with Dick. Understood?"
Mac nodded and Logan left the kitchen and motioned for William and Piz to follow him outside without so much as a goodbye to Parker. His mind was focused on finding Veronica. Alive.
"There is a trail that goes all the way around the lake but it's pretty grown up. You two start there. Make sure to go slowly in case she fell or something and isn't directly on the path. And whatever you do… stay together. Let Mac and me know if you find her," Logan instructed. "I'm going up the other trail. It goes up to the overlook and is a lot more rugged but I'm more familiar with the terrain and will be able to cover more ground."
"I'm sure she's fine… she's fine right," Piz asked hopefully to no one in particular.
"You better hope she is," Logan grumbled before taking off towards the trail that Veronica had visited earlier.
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"Veronica? Veronica is that you?"
A laugh filled the air around him and Logan began to think he was going crazy. But he hadn't been in the woods that long, right? He'd almost forgotten what that laugh sounded like, full of life, full of mischief.
"No. It's me lover. Have you forgotten me already? I'm hurt," she pouted as she appeared before him in a transparent haze.
"I'm sure you are. You know damn well that I haven't forgotten about you… not when I'm still living in the hell that you created. God, Lilly… my father… how could you.?"
"Oh, Logan," she began, an uncharacteristic sadness in her voice. "I was just a stupid girl, too hung up on herself and too afraid of what people would see if they took the time to look inside me."
If Logan thought it was possible, he would have believed that Lilly almost seemed apologetic. But he didn't want to get carried away. This was Lilly or at least a figment of his Lilly imagination, anyway.
"How philosophical of you. Purgatory or wherever it is you've been to must be really boring."
She sighed like his mother used to, after Aaron had gotten him with the belt, all disappointment without a leg to stand on. He wanted to scream at her. She had no right to be disappointed in him. He earned every bitter, angry and resentful bone in his body.
"Well… this has been fun, Lil, but you're wasting my time. I need to find Veronica."
"I know, it's why I'm here."
"What, are you going to mystically lead me right to her?" he asked bitterly.
"Something like that. I'm here to tell you to follow your heart." At his incredulous look she quickly continued. "Clichéd I know but I'm just repeating what you want to know is the right thing."
"So you are just a figment of my own imagination."
"Sort of but not really. It's hard to explain. You just don't have the capacity to understand it right now."
Logan snorted; typical Lilly, evasive and belittling.
"Fine, whatever, but I don't really have time for this trip down memory lane," he told her as he ran his hands nervously through his hair, sighing in resignation. "I'm starting to freak out Lil. I can't lose her, I just can't. Not now, not when she doesn't know how much I'm sorry for. Does she even know how much I love her, how much I'd give up for her?"
"I know you won't believe me but Veronica loves you. She loves you more than you could possibly know. She can't say the words and to be honest I don't know if she will ever be able to tell you how much she does love you, but I promise you she does. But please don't give up on her."
Logan laughed bitterly before replying. "You're promises mean next to nothing to me Lilly."
There was an uncomfortable silence in the air before he resigned to speak to her again. He didn't know why… she wasn't even real.
"Why are you telling me this, Lil? Or is this part of my imagination, too?"
"No, this part is all me. I didn't do right by you Logan and I'd like to try and make up for that. What you and I had… it was fun and I did love you, as much as I could, anyway, but what you and Veronica have is different. I know you don't remember but the night of the alterna-prom you told her that you thought that your relationship was epic, spanning years and continents, lives ruined, bloodshed, epic. I think that even then, both of you knew it was true."
"I always wondered what I had said to make her come back to me. I knew better than to ask because she would never had told me," he said thoughtfully.
"I have to go Logan but remember….follow your heart… and I'm not just talking about finding Veronica tonight. She loves you, you love her and even if I had lived, you two would have found your way to each other. Now get up and go find her. She needs you Logan."
Logan blinked twice, a dark cloudy haze still invading his vision. It was then he smelled dirt and it started to come back to him. He had tripped and fell in his haste to find Veronica, apparently knocking himself unconscious.
He looked around for Lilly, needing to know if it was all a dream, if what she said was true or his own overactive imagination. He found nothing. After mentally chastising himself for being gullible enough to actually believe he was visited by Lilly, an apologetic one at that, he jumped to his feet to return to his search.
He glanced at his watch, wondering how long he'd been out, only to find it was just for a couple a minutes. He breathed a sigh of relief and it was then that a vision of white and green caught his eye. Over to his right he caught just a glimpse of Lilly in her Pep Squad uniform before she dissipated amongst the trees, her laugh fading into the night.
Logan wondered if she wanted him to follow her, if it were possible that a ghost was directing his quest. Just beyond the trees that she had led him to, there was a sharp curve in the path and a steep drop off on one side, a drop off he remembered quite well. His heart dropped into his stomach just thinking of the possible of Veronica falling from there. He hoped Lilly's specter was just playing tricks on his eyes because the alternative was something he'd rather not think about.
The war played out in his mind and eventually he gave in, following the path in that direction. Hurriedly making his way to the tree line, Logan shined his flashlight several yards to the drop-off, his breath catching at the sight of tracks in the soft mud right on the edge. No, not track marks, slide marks. There were what looked to be fresh slide marks starting at the very last tree and continuing over the edge.
Logan fell to his knees where the marks were, shining light down the side of the mountain, praying that he could see something. What he found terrified him and filled him with hope at the same time. About twenty feet down, on a fairly slender piece of land that jetted out from the side of the mountain was Veronica. She wasn't moving which scared him greatly, but she was lucky. Very, very lucky. They could have just as easily found her body, come daylight, at the bottom of this same ravine.
Without thinking, he quickly but carefully slid down to reach her, desperate to touch her and make sure she was alive. He landed ungracefully on his knees beside her, his hands searching for a pulse. He breathed another big sigh of relief when he found one. It was weak, but it was there and right now that was all that he could ask for.
He reached for his phone to let Mac and hopefully the state police know their location. Much to his dismay he found he didn't have service. He silently cursed his luck but ultimately he was just glad to have Veronica beside him, alive. They would worry about the rest later. Right now he needed to check her further for injuries and keep her from further harm.
"Veronica… Veronica… baby, can you hear me? Please baby, can you hear me?"
He didn't get a response and quickly searched her for injuries. There was a pretty bad cut on her head, probably from a rock during the fall and a large scrape across her right cheek. Other than that he couldn't find any other visible injuries but he was cognizant of the fact that it was quite possible that something was broken.
One thing Logan did realize though is that Veronica was cold, too cold. He quickly removed his coat, bundling her in it as best as he could, praying to anyone or anything that would listen that she would be ok. She was Veronica Mars and her name was synonymous with strength and fortitude but her body was still small and fragile and much more vulnerable that she would like to admit.
Now Logan had a choice to make. He needed to get help for Veronica immediately but there was no way he was leaving her alone. He would just have to yell until someone heard him or wait it out. It would be daylight soon, he hoped, and he would just have to keep her warm until then.
"Come on Veronica… just please wake up… say something… anything… yell, scream, snipe… whatever… just please…I need you to wake up."
Much to his dismay, Logan still didn't get an answer. He sighed resignedly, idly wondering how many more life and death situations he and Veronica could possibly go through. They had been through so much in their short lives, apart and together. And if Veronica would allow him, he would make sure that anything else that came their way would be handled together. But he was starting to doubt that would ever happen.
He gently lifted Veronica's head and laid it in his lap, careful not to aggravate any unseen injuries. He stroked her hair lovingly and began to talk to her, hoping to get a response or at least to let her know that he was there.
"Hey… remember that time when me, you, Lilly and Duncan crashed the Kane's anniversary tea out by their pool. The look on Celeste's face… I thought she was going to freeze Lilly to death with her eyes. And of course Duncan was just corrupted by Lilly's bad judgment," laughing gently as he recalled the distant memory. "We were fourteen and that was the first time that Lilly talked us into crashing one of her parent's parties but it definitely wasn't the last."
Logan paused for a moment before smiling seemingly remembering something long since past.
"I remember you had that pink top with the ruffles on and Lilly teased you endlessly about it. In fact she almost brought you to tears. You tried to act like it didn't bother you but I knew better. Do you remember what I told you?... I said that my mother's favorite color was pink and that I thought you looked great. You blushed and I felt little butterflies in my stomach. I know, if you were awake you'd tell me what a girl I was being or swear that I was lying. But it's funny… you know… I couldn't even tell you a thing that Lilly had on but I could tell you exactly what you were wearing. I guess that should have told me something right then, but Duncan was too far gone on you and Lilly had long since set her claws into me."
He smiled tightly, thinking about the times when everything seemed so simple. But as much as they would have all liked to think that, nothing was ever simple. Not in their families, not even in the Mars household. The secrets were just waiting for the right moment to come out, to expose their ugly truths.
"Oh, Veronica… we've really messed things up, haven't we? Or I've messed things up, I should say. After everything that life's handed us, I really thought that we were meant to be together. I mean… how could we not? You say it's too hard but maybe it's actually easier than it could have been. "
Logan looked back down at Veronica's face and couldn't resist leaning down to kiss her forehead. It was something he'd never done with Lilly but with Veronica it seemed like such a natural gesture, so intimate yet so comforting.
"God… I love you so much Veronica… you just have no idea. I need you to wake up… please. Regardless if we aren't together I still need you… I've always needed you, I just didn't know it. And I'm sorry for everything… I've done so much to hurt you… I just really sorry…" he confessed as tears started to run down his cheeks. "I just want to be the man you know I can be but I need you to do that. I want to be that man, Veronica. I want to be better than my mother and nothing like my father."
He was openly crying now, tears for her, for himself, for them; tears for fate that constantly threw them together only to tear them apart again. He felt a cold touch along his cheek, gently wiping away his tears, confused by the fact that both of his hands were in Veronica's hair. And that's when it hit him. Looking down he found blue eyes boring into his own with a fervor that would seem impossible under the circumstances. But they were survivors, together they were epic, the rules just didn't apply to him.
"Logan… you're not your father…" Veronica told him, her voice weak and raspy.
"Oh, god… Veronica….," he started, unable to finish, maneuvering so he could bury his head in her neck.
Veronica struggled out of his tightly wrapped coat and mirrored his earlier comforts of her stroking her fingers along his head.
"Shhhh… Logan…I'm ok… it's going to be ok…"
She was still very, very weak and it was taking everything she had in her to hold Logan's embrace but she wasn't about to let go. She didn't know if she ever be able to let go. And that thought scared her because despite what she had hazily overheard him say, he was in love with Parker and she made him happy. She didn't want to come between that. They only ever caused each other pain.
But now wasn't the time to tell him. Now was the time to be happy that he'd found her. At that moment she realized that he'd told her the truth; no matter what, Logan would always be there for her. And that made her the happiest of all.
Logan sat up, looking at the love of his life. He knew it, there was no denying it and regardless of what happened from here on out, he wanted her to know, too.
"Veronica… I love you… you don't have to say anything… I just needed for you to know. No matter what happens in the future, you have to know that I will never love another woman the way I love you… never."
Veronica's breath caught somewhere in her throat, her heart practically beating in her ears as she listened to his confession. She felt it too, his name had long since been tattooed on her own heart. She had never been able to tell him out loud, though, scared of what putting it out there would mean.
"Logan… I…"
"Shhhh… you don't have to say anything… you need to rest… I just needed you to know."
She smiled up at him, feeling the exhaustion in her body but trying to be strong despite it. She wanted to tell him, wanted to tell him everything her heart was feeling but she was so, so tired. It could wait. He'd found her, told her he loved her and as she drifted back into unconsciousness, she'd use that to get her through.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Three weeks later
Veronica never regained consciousness after her short time awake with Logan. He had heard voices a short time later and had yelled until the rescue team from the state police found them. They had used a pulley system along with a stretcher to get her safely back onto the path but quickly discovered her injuries were far worse than they appeared and she had to be transported out in a helicopter to the nearest trauma center.
Logan had hardly left her side, only doing so to take a shower and change clothes in the nearby hotel room he rented. He rented one for Keith, too, and while he was grateful, he wouldn't let Logan pay for it. Mars pride and all that.
The two men rotated when they slept and when they ate so that someone was always in the room with her. It was a little surprising to them both how well they got along in such close quarters. But then again, Veronica Mars always did seem to work miracles. And so they kept their constant vigils while their lives were falling apart both in front of them and around them.
Logan hadn't talked to Parker in more than a week and that was only to call and let her know that he was ok and that he didn't know when he'd be back. She'd called the day before and left him a voicemail saying that she understood how much he loved Veronica and that it was ok, that she'd seem him whenever. He didn't really know if that meant they'd broken up or what. Truth was he did like Parker and he found himself a little sad that no one would ever be able to measure up to Veronica.
School was a non-issue; he didn't go back and he couldn't find it in himself to care. It was like every day without Veronica awake was bringing him down further and he didn't know how much farther he could go without completely falling apart. He knew Keith was the same way.
He sat on the small, uncomfortable couch in her room, trying to concentrate on the crossword puzzle that he'd been working on for what seemed like forever. The incessant beeping of the hospital machinery was constant and sometimes times it almost soothed him to sleep and other times, like now, it just annoyed the hell out of him. But as long as they were beeping, Veronica was living and he could never complain about that.
Logan looked up from the black and white squares to the small body on the bed in front of him. He could have sworn he saw her eyes flutter but he'd thought the same thing many times over the past few weeks. Wishful thinking on his part. But then he saw it again. Her eyes, they fluttered, he was sure of it.
He jumped off the couch and placed himself on the bed beside her, leaning in to whisper softly, in almost the exact same manner as when he found her alone and broken on the side of the mountain.
"Veronica… can you hear me?"
She opened her eyes, blinking several times and looked at him. He nearly wept in relief.
"Logan… "
"Yes… god Veronica… oh my god… you're awake… you have no idea…"
"What happened… I think I remember falling… and I think it was a long way down."
Logan was inwardly disappointed even though he knew he had no right to be. Veronica was alive and she was going to be ok and the fact that she couldn't remember such an intimate moment shared between them shouldn't matter. But it did, just a little.
"You went walking by yourself at night up at my house in Aspen when you fell off the side of the mountain. You're lucky Veronica, you managed to fall on a part that jutted out slightly from the rest. I found you and waited with you until the state police's rescue unit could get there. I didn't know it at the time but you had multiple internal injuries…" he said, the tears once again finding their way down his face.
"I remember… some of it," she told him rubbing her hand along his arm in comfort. "You found me Logan… I knew you would. You always do."
That moment… that was the moment that Logan knew that Lilly hadn't been a dream. She was right… so very right. Veronica did love him and even if she couldn't say it, it showed. It showed more in her eyes and with the words she didn't say than if she said it aloud. And that was fine with him. He knew and that would always be worth fighting for.
She reached up and caressed his cheek and he leaned into her touch. Her hands were warm this time and he was grateful for what that meant. She was alive and now so was he.
Finis
Author's note: I've left the little mystery in this unresolved on purpose. I may decide in the future to revisit this and make it into a full blown mystery. Right now I am working on five other fics so I want to finish them first.
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