I walked out of the steamy room. I just got out of the love-making room of the mansion on Esme's Isle. I left Bella in there, tiresome in the room. I basically had no care in the world. I was on my honeymoon for crying out loud! This was, like, the twentieth time we've done it this week. I swear, now that we are married, Bella has turned into a sex-addict. I heard Bella rustling in the room.
"Edward! Can we do it again?" She begged. I guess I had to go back. You know how she is always monotone. It scares me. I walked into the room and began to do it again.
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One month later…. ( Cullen mansion)
"Edward! I need blood!" Bella yelled. Why did I screw myself up?! Now Bella is a blood whore, like a crack whore, but for blood. I hate it that she is pregnant. Why can't she just get an abortion? I am tired. I am going to go to the place where you get divorces. I ran there cause I'm super fast. I filed the divorce papers and forged bella's siggy. We were divorced at last! No more blood donations!!! Now all I have left to do is to kick her out. I ran back home. I walked to Bella.
"Get out Bella. Only Cullen's could live here!" I shouted at her. She gave me a confused look.
"Don't you remember? We are MARRIED!" She screamed.
"Not anymore! I filed divorce papers and forged your signature," I cheered happily. She cried and carried her fat self out of the house. Mission accomplished. I called Emmett to my room. "Emmett? DO you know where you could find hookers?"
"Yes I do. Rosalie is in the next room," Emmett happily told me. I ran to Rosalie and we did it many times.
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Fifteen years later…
I went to the forks high school fifteen year reunion. I told Mike and Jessica that I had multiple plastic surgeries. I couldn't believe that they bought it! I then noticed a big blob of a woman sitting on a chair, no, two chairs. OMG it is Bella!
"Hey fatty Bella. I guess that you let yourself go all the way around the earth!" I yelled.
Everyone cheered.
"The only reason I am like this is because I had a child with a bottomless stomach," Bella explained pathetically. "She wanted me to eat with her for EVERY MEAL!!!!!"
"Well, you get a child when you are a sex-addict, duh!" I yelled. I then walked away. I then took Angela to a back room and we did it.
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Disclaimer: I don't own twilight
I wrote this because I hate Bella and Edward. In Breaking Dawn, she portrayed a sex addict. No Flames!!!!!
-Nellabelle