Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 7 nor any of it's character, settings etc.
Well, I found this in my folders. A very angsty piece of writing, I may or may not have been entirely sane while writing this. Probably because I was under a lot of stress to get my assignments done. Which raises the question: Why was I writing fanfics when CLEARLY I should have been completing my assignments? Anyhoo, here you go.
Angel's tears
I'll be watching over you, Zack, I'll always watch over you.
It was never meant to be. I was a monster. Why was I a monster? Because my mother had taken part in horrendous human experiments and had fused her cells with those of a monster. I had inherited those cells. That's why I was a monster.
I screamed now as the bodies of the surrounding beasts combined with my own. My pupil, Zack, stared in disbelief as I shuddered and grew into a grotesque form – part me, part beast. Barely human.
"Angeal!" Zack cried. I knew he was in pain. But I couldn't help it. I was a monster and monsters caused suffering.
I reared up on my bestial hind legs and thrust my spear forward, catching Zack on the cheek. It left a cut which I knew would form a scar.
I'm sorry Zack. It has to end like this. I'm sorry.
Zack howled in frustration, first refusing to attack. He must have realised that all was lost, for he finally charged.
That feeling one has, the inescapable, agony when one knows there is an impending doom, yet they are helpless to stop it. Helpless to avoid it. Watching it unravel towards the ending that must come inevitably. The ending that will cause so much hurt and anguish. That will torment one as they watch it draw nearer. The sinking feeling that one is lost in an uncontrollable, dark abyss of nightmarish quality that one cannot escape. Trapped in the moment, fearing, dreading the future that must surely come. That is what my dear Zack felt. The hopelessness of reality. The bleakness of honour. I had no honour.
The final blow struck me and I knew it was over. My energy left me, seeping away like a quick stream.
I'm sorry, Zack, I'm sorry.
Faintly, through blurry eyes and by day's dying light, I saw Zack kneeling beside me. Grief, such as I had never seen, painted his brilliant eyes. He was like a brother to me and I a brother to him.
"To be a hero, you need to have dreams." I croaked.
"No, Angeal, man, no." The despair coloured his voice "Angeal, Angeal, don't die, please."
With heavy arms I lifted the Buster Sword and pushed it into his hands.
"And always… protect your honour…" And I died.
The lifestream drew me in. A vast swirling of green and blue and creamy white stars in a black void. It was beautiful. I hovered, semi conscious, in the flow of aqua ribbons. Then I came to myself.
Zack….
I had desperate need to see him again. A tugging desire. Finding my way around I returned to the world of the living as a ghost of my former self. I concentrated on Zack and found myself in a worn and semi-destroyed church. Zack went to church?
Then I saw him. Sitting between the pews, crying. I had never, in my entire memory, seen Zack cry.
He was always happy. Always. I drifted down to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He didn't notice. Of course, I was but a ghost. I could see them , hear them, but they could not know I was there.
"The sky is so big. It scares me." I started at the light female voice. There was a girl here. Who was she?
It didn't matter who she was. She came over and hugged Zack. I backed away as she approached.
Zack… I'm sorry.
I watched for a while. He continued to cry. It broke my heart. I was a monster. I had died to ease his pain, but I had made it worse. I was a monster.
The next time I saw Zack was at the fire. When the town of Nibelheim was alight with brilliant flames. It was Sephiroth's doing. He had lost his sanity. How I wished then that I was there. How I wished that Zack was not alone. Perhaps I could have stopped Sephiroth. Perhaps I could have saved Zack. But I wasn't there. I was a monster, and I wasn't there.
"Sephiroth!" Zack screamed, charging at the first class SOLDIER. Zack had no chance. I knew that as I watched Sephiroth disable him with a single swing of his masamune.
A Cadet was there too. A small blonde boy, barely sixteen.
"Sephiroth!" he yelled swinging the buster blade wildly. He was too easy to kill. Sephiroth drove his masamune right through the boy and lifted him into the air. He had failed. Zack had failed. But most of all, I had failed. It was my fault.
I'm so sorry, Zack, could you ever forgive me?
But no. It seemed the cadet was stronger than either Sephiroth or I had anticipated. Pulling himself forward on the blade he managed to get his feet back onto the ground. Then, miraculously, he lifted Sephiroth up and hurled him into the reactor.
Sephiroth fell into the lifestream. Towards me. And I was there to meet him.
"Sephiroth." My voice sounded strange. It echoed and danced around us. Sephiroth just stared. He turned and dissolved into the twirling stream. Alone again.
I turned to Zack. He was being carted away on a stretcher. Professor Hojo examined him briefly before sending him off, unconscious, to Nibelheim Manor.
Helpless, I watched as they drugged him and placed him in a large capsule for experimentation. Him and that cadet. I could have helped them, but I wasn't there. I wasn't there when I was needed. What had I achieved? Where was my honour?
I visited them a few more times. It was always the same. Zack, the cadet, both unconscious. Sometimes Zack twitched, his eyes moved rapidly from side to side. It was then I knew he was having nightmares. He even managed my name a few times.
"Angeal…"
I'm so sorry, Zack.
Then one day, miraculously, he broke out. My dearest Zack broke out and, taking his friend with him, managed to run away. He was pursued. But he fought them off. The Shin-Ra army came after them with violence. But Zack kept running. He kept going with undying optimism and such promise. Just as I knew he would.
Zack, I'm so sorry.
The final time I saw Zack in the living world was when he lay there dying. His blood wept from his bullet wounds. The small cadet, Cloud, had finally fought off the mako addiction. He had dragged himself to Zack's side and was leaning over him.
"Zack..." He had a small voice, tainted with innocence and youth.
"Cloud..." Zack managed to croak and pushed the Buster Sword into his hands "Be my... legacy. Live... for the... both of us." He said.
Cloud repeated his words numbly, then Zack died.
Cloud sobbed for a few seconds, but overcome by emotion, he howled into the sky. The sky darkened, the rain poured.
"Goodbye Zack..." Cloud whispered to him. Zack wouldn't hear. He would never know, but Cloud said it anyway. Then he left.
It was time.
I'm coming Zack.
I descended from the sky on white wings. He must have seen the light behind me for he opened his eyes. The deepest blue eyes like the calm ocean on a hot summer.
He reached out with his gloved hand.
"That looks... so free. I want them too" He sighed. Smiling, I lifted him up into the heavens with me.
You're safe Zack. I'll always be with you now. You're safe.
Well, that was very depressing. Reminds me of Lucrecia Crescent and how she's always apologizing to Vincent.
Ah well, it can't be helped. Oh, but do tell me what you think.
~Halo Cyan