Take O N E

fromNamine Strife

dateFeb 21, 2009 10:15 AM

subjectI cannot believe my situation…..

To my lovely and dearest Kairi,

You cannot begin to understand my anger right now. Sitting in the back of a cramped up trunk is NOT what I had in mind when moving. Cloud's feet are all squished into my legs and it hurts, dammit.

Yes, Spikey. I am talking about you. Be a good boy and turn away. That's right--good Cloud.

Anyways, the 'rents are delusional. They are screaming the lyrics to 'Circus' while trying to drive and fool with the map. Now, I'm not typically one to mock my parent's intellect, but they are seriously on the far side of sane right about now.

......Holy crap, I think we just hit a man. Hold on.

And I'm back. Apparently, the old man was a crazed farmer who thought our car was one of his runaway cows. I mean, I know the trunk is white with chipping paint, but a COW? Really now?

But the man is alright. He just hit our windshield is all. I mean, he must have bones of steel or something; you know those crazy 'ol men.

Speaking of crazy old men, I left you some of that gum you like so much under the desk in Mr. Leonhart's class. I know how much you like to drool over him, Kairi dear, but I've told you a million times before--make sure he doesn't see it.

Oh, and Cloud says hello and he wants you to tell Tifa he said hi. Haha, he is such a sap for your sister. ...Or her boobs. I haven't established which one it is, yet.

.......Cloud hit me. ABUSE. CHILD ABUSE!

D'oh, the 'rents are singing the Spice Girls now. Kairi, please, smuggle me into your closet? I don't want to move away. At all. I swear, I'll be quiet and I won't borrow your shoes /that often/.

I love you!

Your amazing cheeka,

Namine.

fromKairi Lockheart

toNamine Strife

dateFeb 21, 2009 10:33 AM

subject Urgles…

My beautiful Nami,

I'm still sitting here, shaking with laughter. Although I'm still pissed at your parents for moving you away from me and even more mad that my mom won't let me move with you.

Whilst we are still on the subject of insane parents... my mother is currently attempting to cook. It smells really bad and dangerous and it's giving me a headache. I think I might have to become sick right before dinner. Seriously... my mother is a menace in the kitchen.
Aw! I feel bad for your brother... Tifa's out on a date. And not with the guy from last week. Or the week before that. Or the week before that. Once again, it's a new guy. I don't approve of this one, he smells like cigarettes and his grin is crooked. If I knew that Tifa wasn't sleeping around, I'd seriously be calling her a slut. Remember when we were little and we wanted our older siblings to get married so we'd be sisters?
Stupid Tifa. SO. CLOSE.

GUMMM :D I can't wait to find it Monday! Ugh... school without you. That's really really going to suck. I sure hope there are some cute boys on the other side of the island for you ;D You need to meet some. (:

Oh my god... I smell smoke. BRB.

..yeah. So my mother. Set the green beans. On fire.
How the hell do you do that?! I swear that woman can't even make soup with boiled water and a Cup-A-Soup package.

-imagines you and Cloud squished together in the backseat- LMAO. In your '93 Chevy. XD That car is tiny. And your dad needs to get it a new paint job. Like. Seriously. XD
Has Cloud grown any since I last saw him? All of Tifa's dates have been six feet or taller.
...Is he reading this? I'm mean. So mean. XD

Speaking of which... Tifa just came back from her date. Uhm, he's trying to talk to her from outside. And she looks pissed. And I think her shirt's a bit messed up. -cough- She needs a breast reduction. Those things are screaming to be looked at.

I HEART YOU 3
Your Kai.

fromNamine Strife

toKairi Lockheart

dateFeb 21, 2009 10:15 AM

subjectAnd my Daddy said 'Stay away from Juliet'

To the Girl with Ginger Hair,

Yes, you read my title correctly--my father pulled us over at the local drug store and stumbled upon the Taylor Swift CD. So now I am stuck listening to how she lost her boyfriend in every single track.

Cooking? Holy crap, your madre hasn't taken her meds today, has she? I've told her that cooking isn't her forte; your mom should listen to me.

And Cloud just gave me the sadden emo eyes once he read this email. ...Yes, Cloud you are emo. He's protesting he isn't, but why is it that my eyeliner disappears all the time? I mean, hell-oh. I'm not stupid, contrary to popular belief. Oh, speaking of the Spikey Chocobo, remember that one time we slumbered him in eighth grade? That was the bomb. And uh, duh. Cloud hasn't grown one bit. I think he's forever doomed to the height of 5'7. God, I can't wait to pass him up and laugh. xD And is she wearing the whorish pink shirt? Y'know, the one that looks like it's ready to pop? 'Cause if she is, Cloud wants pictures. .......HEY, DON'T HIT ME.

Oh! And I heard that this city is the hometown of the Keybladers. Y'know, the band with the really hott guys in it? -Insert mega droolz hurrr-

Hunny, Tifa is a slut. She has another date, like, every week. I, on the other hand, have only been asked out ONCE by Wakka. And, well, we all know how that date turned out. He STILL barfs at the sight of chocolate pudding. I mean, how was I supposed to know that my bandaid had accidentally slipped into his dessert? Like, seriously, it isn't like I'm constantly looking at my fingers! -Continues rant-

God, Kai, I miss you. Well, I know I'll see you soon and all, but I have to wait eight months or so. -Flails- Imagine how many pieces of art I can complete in eight months. xD

Bah, I must depart now, my darling. Father dearest has announced we are three hours from our house, and it's time for a nap.

Much love,

Nami.

fromKairi Lockheart

toNamine Strife

dateFeb 21, 2009 12:53 PM

subject Btch plz?

Namiiiii 3 :D

Late reply, because I had to be sisterly and listen to the rant of how all men are lowlifes and that my sister is seriously considering lesbianism.
"What happened this time..." I sighed. (And yes. She was wearing that whorey pink shirt. I can tell you exactly which bra she is wearing today.) She was in the garage, punching the punching bag. I wish I was Tifa sometimes. You know. Minus the boobs and such.
"Men!" she snorted, and I concluded this particular one had tried to touch her in ways only married people should.
After pretending to listen to her long lecture of how men are awful and should be exterminated from the face of the earth, I casually suggested, "You know... Cloud Strife is single."
And you know what she did? (Send Cloud out of view for this!) She LAUGHED. Like... LAUGHTER. Then she continued her martial arts crap. I feel so bad for your brother! XD

KEYBLADERSSS -drools- Oh my god. You /have/ to get us tickets. Like... whenever they play. It should be illegal to be hot AND be able to sing AND play guitar.

-smacks PC- I wish we could get a new one. I think this one's older than my mother. o.0 And Teef cooked me food. Yumm.

XD Yes, I remember that. Poor you. Poor Wakka! It's all right, in the end. You guys weren't meant for each other anyhoo. :P I still think you and Roxy would've been cute together... but I guess you were both too shy in the end. -squishes- I really miss you. Normally we'd all be outside on the little island, but I don't want to go without you. :/ Maybe next weekend. I dunno.

If I said that to Tifa's face, she'd kick my arse. Seriously, I don't dare make her mad anymore. Have you seen her fight lately? She's a beast. And she's still angry about her date earlier.

Aw! Have a nice nap! I think I'm going to go flounder around in the bathtub, or something that requires zero energy. I think depression costs calories.

I love you! Don't get into any trouble!
Your dearest Kai-RI. 3

fromNamine Strife

toKairi Lockheart

dateFeb 21, 2009 10:15 AM

subjectY'know, Laptops need keyboard lights….

K to the A to the I to the R to the I :3

Yes, I made your name into a rap. Sue me, it's 12:34 over here and I am dead tired.

So, we finally arrived at the new place called 'home'. I mean, it isn't horrible or anything, but it definitely isn't as nice as your house, Kai. I mean, Cloud and I have to share a bathroom which isn't too horrible.

Concerning your story, that was rather harsh of Tifa. My poor spiked brother; his heart will be smashed into two. D: Y'know, he isn't that unattractive! I mean, he's kinda....uh....

Yeah, no. I can't even pretend my brother is cute--it doesn't work for siblings.

Keybladers, ohmygod, yes. Tickets would be epic, if I can afford them. You know how tight money is around here. But, on good note, we passed a Starbucks in town which is looking to hire. My obsession for coffee was what led me to see the sign. I went exploring the city today, after all.

Speaking of which, my parents took me to see my school--my stomach dropped into my legs. It was HUGE Kairi; nothing like the islands at all. I feel like I'm going to be sick, excuse me.

And I'm back. I wasn't actually sick, but I am so nervous.

As for Roxas, this is how our conversations concluded:

Me, Queen of the Universe: Hi Roxas! -Insert pretty smile-

Roxas, Emo Prince: ......Hi. -Insert walking away-

I mean, helllooo. He couldn't stand a conversation with me. Plus, I heard a rumor that him and Axel were butt buddies. In fact, I am going to email Axel and ask myself. Hahahaha!

It's late here and I should probably get sleep for in the morning....

Lots of love 333

Namine.