Title – Rachel Berry Is No Allen Iverson.
Characters-Finn and Rachel.
Summary- Finn has something he wants to say.
Disclaimer- No, I do not own Glee.
Set between Pilot and Preggers.
Finn Hudson arrived for school determined. Actually, he was probably more determined than he had ever been. He had two people he had to talk to today, and he'd been up all night preparing exactly what he wanted to say. Of course, he pondered, he would no doubt screw it up a little. If there was one thing Finn had learned from football, at least William McKinley High Football, it was that plays rarely, if ever, unfolded as designed.
Finn made his way to his girlfriend Quinn Fabray's locker, so focused on his target that he ignored the head nods and "What's up Finn's?" coming his way from assorted jocks and Cheerios. He spotted Quinn, standing alone applying lip gloss, beside her locker. Good, he thought, at least he wouldn't have an audience for this.
Finn paused, and ran through in his mind exactly what he needed to say and needed to do. Firstly, he couldn't do this in the hallway, too public. So an empty classroom would have to do. Plenty of time until first class of the day so there shouldn't be a problem there. Next he was going to calmly and nicely explain to Quinn that he didn't think that they were working out as a couple, and that they should probably break up. That perhaps what with Glee Club and everything he wasn't what she really wanted in a boyfriend any more.
He was going to leave unsaid that she wasn't really what he wanted in a girlfriend any more either. I mean Finn hadn't come up with any way to say that which didn't sound, well ….rude...and mean. Finn wasn't always proud of his behaviour, especially over the last year or so, but he didn't think he was ever mean. Not really. Well, there was Kurt and the dumpster, but Finn hadn't actually thrown him in, he'd even held his jacket for him. Okay, he was going to have to apologize to Kurt later today as well.
Okay, alone – classroom – things aren't working out – it's not you it's me – sorry – wish you all the best. Alone – classroom – not working out – sorry – all the best. Alone- classroom – all the best.
"Quinn!", Finn said, a little louder and more panicked than he'd intended. Calmly, calmly he reminded himself whilst taking a couple of deep breaths. Quinn looked up at him and away from the mirror on the inside of her locker, lip gloss poised in hand. "Um Quinn. Hi. I think we should break up. It's not me it's you. You're not what I want in a girlfriend."
Quinn looked stunned, brows raised, eyes wide and confused. Finn felt stunned. No No No this was not what he had rehearsed. But just like in football, he knew that when a play was busted you just had to roll with it and hope things worked out. "Sorry. All the best!" he continued "I'll see you around" he finished with a cheerful wave. Quinn seemed like she was searching for the words to say something but just couldn't form them. Finn might be a little slow but even he knew that retreat was the greatest part of valor, or something like that, so decided to exit with a nod of the head and another wave.
As he rounded the corner he reflected that he had indeed screwed it up. As expected. But really, it could have gone so so much worse. No doubt it would , later, when Quinn found her words, and Finn had no doubt that there would be words, many words, multitudes of words. He couldn't help smiling to himself, he was pretty sure he'd used multitudes correctly in a sentence, okay a sentence in his head, but still. Some of the songs they had to do in Glee were pretty wordy and when he was unsure what something meant Rachel and Mr Schue were really nice about explaining it to him. As Rachel was fond of saying,"It's important to understand the words so that you can correctly and adequately express the emotion of them in the performance."
Okay. One down, one to go. Well, two if you counted Kurt. Okay, Quinn hadn't gone as planned, but the next one was the big one. This had to go exactly as he planned it.
The next one was Rachel Berry.
It had all started last night. Well, it had probably started the first time he had sung with Rachel if Finn was honest with himself. She was …..terrifying. Talented and cute, but terrifying. I mean Finn had thought Puck in football mode was the most intense person he'd seen. Rachel Berry took intensity to a whole new level. Coach Tanaka talked a lot about intensity and focus and Finn had thought he knew what Coach meant by that. Then he met Rachel and saw what he meant. Every lead vocal, every back up vocal, every dance step, Rachel went at 100%. Maximum effort, maximum commitment. And this was just practice. Practice! God knows what she'd be like when it came to the actual competition.
The more practices there were, the more time he spent with Rachel. Singing with her, dancing with her, touching her,(strictly as required by the choreography of course, he had a girlfriend, well he did then, but still touching nonetheless) and talking with her, Rachel went from talented and cute to incredible and beautiful. Finn knew that Rachel hadn't changed, and he wasn't even sure that he had really changed, but the way he saw her had. He would always sneak little looks at his fellow gleeks, when he could tear his eyes away from Rachel, to see if they were seeing what he was seeing as regards Rachel. But as far as he could tell they were mainly focused on what they were doing, their own performances, although Artie always had a kind word for Rachel when she really smashed one out of the park, and Kurt sometimes looked particularly moved if Rachel had broken out something painful from a Broadway show.
So, yes, Finn could admit to himself that he was somewhat into Rachel Berry. But he had a girlfriend and he couldn't see that changing. He was QB1 and she was head cheerleader and they had the same friends and went to the same parties. And yes it seemed shallow but it was comfortable and easy and...expected. It was just the way things were.
Then last night Finn had been home alone when he remembered how Rachel had mentioned earlier in glee that she had to get home to upload a new performance to her MySpace. Finn found himself wondering if seeing her on screen was the same as seeing her live. If that intensity came across. So he went online and ran through a half dozen performances. He sat there with a grin on his face. Wow! He wasn't wrong. She really was that good. She really was a Star capital S. Of course ever since he'd met her she'd always insisted she would be a star. But here, as far as Finn was concerned, was proof positive. This was undeniable.
Then Finn read the comments section of her web page.
Oh My God!
He couldn't believe what he was reading. Cruel comment after cruel comment. Vicious hateful things. Not just about her singing, but her appearance, how her dads should take her back to the pound which they got her from, how no one at school liked her, that she should kill herself, that she was a joke. Comments that had clearly come from kids at their High School. And then he saw it -
Hey! Pre-Op. Your worst performance yet!! Me and my boyfriend are sitting here laughing our behinds off at your out of tune wailing:) Btw keep your man hands to yourself during glee because he finds it disgusting when you touch him. He's too much of a gentleman to hit a girl, but you're hardly a girl are you?
Quinn. It had to be Quinn. She had stopped badmouthing Rachel in front of him. But Finn knew she still said pretty bad things about her, and even, he was forced to admit, to her. Finn wasn't proud of it, but he had kind of chosen to ignore that aspect of Quinn's behaviour. But he couldn't ignore this. Did Rachel believe that this was what Finn thought about her, said about her? It made him feel sick to his stomach to think that she might. No, she probably realised that this was just another attempt by Quinn to hurt her. But still, Quinn was obviously threatened and unhappy at the attention Finn was paying to Rachel. So he couldn't help but feel somewhat responsible. More than that, what type of person was he in a relationship with? What did it say about him that he was going out with someone who could do something like this? He knew that Quinn had a good side to her as well, but even so, this was so clearly wrong.
So Finn sat staring at his laptop feeling sick and sad and helpless and disappointed. And then he thought, really thought, about Rachel reading those comments. Day after day, night after night. And then turning up for school, being so nice to him, and patient with him(okay not always patient she did like things done right after all) and shining at Glee. He thought about her going home and preparing and delivering another performance to upload to her MySpace, and then reading more of the same kind of comments and it made him want to cry.
Okay, so maybe he actually did cry.
He reached for his cell to call Rachel and let her know how sorry he was, and how she didn't deserve any of the hateful things written about her. But what would he say exactly? Would she really want sympathy from a jock like Finn who had no real idea what she was going through? Finn knew that pretty much everyone liked him, and those that didn't kept their mouths shut about it. It was the privilege of being QB1, dating Quinn, and pretty much going with the flow in High School. So he put down his phone and decided that for once in his life he was really going to think things through, and that when he spoke to Rachel he would have the right things to say, because Finn had the feeling that this was one conversation that was too important to screw up.
Rachel was in the music room, seated at the piano, finishing off her fourth run through of 'While We Wait For The Others'. Not really a Glee type song but she was thinking about arranging it for one of her online postings. Rachel felt that it was important to show variety in her repertoire. She heard the door open and glanced up to see Finn stride in rather briskly with a stare that was fixed right at her and a determined set to his chin.
Oh No! ,Rachel thought to herself, I knew I shouldn't have made my feelings quite so obvious during yesterdays rendition of 'Somebody to Love'. She started to speak, "Finn, I'm s..", was as far as she got before Finn held his hand up and told her that he had something to say to her and he didn't want her to speak until he was done.
Rachel frowned, stared at the keys in front of her and prepared herself for the worst.
"You're the bravest person I've ever met." Finn stated in the surest , firmest ,most certain voice Rachel had ever heard him use, and that included when he was shouting plays to his teammates.
What!Rachel thought, but didn't say. She lifted her head up to look at Finn and found that the look in his eyes matched the tone of his voice. He seemed so sure of the truth of what he was saying. This was soooo not what Rachel was expecting, and she desperately wanted to say something at this point but she was astounded to discover that for once in her life, she, Rachel Berry, was speechless. She wasn't prepared for Finn's words but was definitely eager to hear what he had to say next, although a couple of minutes to regain her breath and bearings wouldn't go amiss she reflected.
"I checked out your MySpace last night." Finn continued.
Rachel suppressed a groan. It wasn't that she was embarrassed by her videos, in fact she thought there were many fine performances on there, it was just that she prayed that he hadn't read the comments. She'd be mortified if he had.
"I read the comments."
Great! Suddenly she regained her fascination with the piano keys in front of her.
"I broke up with Quinn this morning"
Rachel's head shot back up and if Finn kept on dropping bombshells like this she was going to have whiplash by the end of the day.
"She had no right to say those things about you." Finn shook his head "No right. You're talented Rachel. I know you know that, but I'm gonna say it anyway. You have more talent than anyone I've ever met, and probably will ever meet." he went on earnestly.
"You're gonna be a star Rach. I have no doubt. Not cos you're insanely talented, well not just because of that. But because of how brave you are. People write that stuff about you, and laugh about you behind your back, and to your face. But you walk into this school every morning, head held high and you just shine. Every day in Glee you shine Rachel. People try to beat you down but you rise up every time and shine. I'm not like you" and here Finn's voice faltered and cracked and Rachel looked up only to be startled when she saw Finn's eyes glistening with emotion.."I'm not brave like you"
Here Rachel did try to interject but was prevented by Finn continuing.
"But I want to be. You inspire me Rachel. You really do. You're brave and beautiful and determined and gifted and hard working and kind and direct and honest. Honest about who you are, and about what you want and where you're going. You don't let anyonestop you from being who you are and showing who you are everyday in this school. No matter how hard it must be to carry on or how easy it would be to give in to the losers at this school."
"When you make it out of this school and are a big success out there in the big wide world I want you to know how much you inspired me to be better, to do better, to be myself, or at least the version of myself I want to be."
At this point Finn paused and Rachel looked up through shiny eyes to see if he was finished. "I was going to leave you a message online," he said "but I felt you deserved to hear face to face what I think about you." Then Finn leaned down , placed his big hands on Rachel's shoulders, looked her dead in the eye and with the biggest widest brightest smile finished "You're awesome Rachel" in a soft yet clear voice. He maintained eye contact for a beat then straightened, turned around, and exited the room as purposefully as he had entered. Before the door closed behind him Rachel heard him call out "Hey Kurt, wait up buddy!"
Rachel sat there in a trance. She wasn't going to lie to herself. She'd imagined, more times than was entirely healthy probably, Finn coming to her and telling her that he'd dumped Quinn and wanted to be with her, and loved her, and they'd kiss and music would play and they would walk down the hall together hand in hand and everyone they passed would be able to see how much they loved each other. Like in the movies.
This was better though. It was real for a start. Unless this was just some elaborate prank. She worried for a second but then dismissed the thought from her mind. Finn was being sincere. She was sure of that. She wasn't sure of much else at the moment, but she was sure of that.
She started to regain her senses. Finn thought she was brave. Finn thought she was awesome. Finn had broken up with Quinn. Holy Cow! Finn had broken up with Quinn. What did this mean for them? Was Finn interested in her now? He hadn't exactly declared his undying love for her. But he said she was beautiful and more importantly Rachel felt that he truly saw her. The her she was when she was performing and the her she had to be in order to carry on performing, and he liked what he saw.
Then Rachel started laughing, and crying, and then laughing at the fact she was crying. This wonderful boy thought she was wonderful, and really, did things get any more wonderful than that?
How was she supposed to act around Finn at glee practice? What was Quinn going to do to her the next time they met? The questions raced through Rachel's mind. She took a deep breath, wiped her eyes, hugged herself and then placed her hands back onto the keys of the piano. Time for one more run through.
Tonight was going to be her best performance yet.
The End.