New story Yay! This one is different from my previous stories as it is Yaoi, boy x boy. No like no read. Now onto the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters, I'm just borrowing them.

Missing Haori

Stolen Property

It was three in the morning and Ichigo still couldn't sleep. He knew what was keeping him awake, he just didn't like it. For the past week he had been having erotic dreams about two certain shinigami taichos and he wasn't quite sure what to make of it.

Alright, yes he did, he just didn't know what to do about it, because approaching a couple of 800 year old men and saying that he was having erotic dreams about them and would they go out with him wasn't awkward at all. Even just playing it out in his head was awkward.

Ichigo groaned. He had long ago realized and accepted that he was gay; he had even come to terms with the fact that he liked older men. This did not help his case, because these taichos should have looked old and wrinkly at 800 or more, but no, they were lean and fit and looked to be in their late thirties to mid forties, his optimal age range of attraction.

Another thing that didn't help his case at all was the fact that he knew why they looked that age. Shinigami were essentially immortal, which meant that they could look however young or old they wanted to, within certain limits of course. For instance, if a shinigami was 800 years old they could not look like they were in their teens; the youngest they could look was as if they were in their early thirties. But they didn't have to look older than their late forties, even if they were say, 2000 years old. It was a scary thought.

That brought him back to his main problem, what to do about what he was feeling for those two taichos, Ukitake Juushiro, and Kyoraku Shunsui. It also didn't help Ichigo's cause that Ichigo was firmly an uke type (he had also come to accept that), and that the two taichos in question were clearly, to him at least, seme type; which meant in short, he wanted to taken by them, both of them.

Sighing Ichigo thought, 'I can always have them brought in on the pretense of stolen property, after all, they did steal my heart.'

The next morning Ichigo woke up bright and early to the vision of Rukia's face directly over his, wait, that wasn't a vision… "GYAAAAA!"

Launching out of bed he hit the floor with a bang, while Rukia laughed her ass off at his reaction. "Shut up" he mumbled picking himself up off the floor clutching his now aching head. Rukia just laughed harder at his expression.

"Yeah, yeah, just keep laughing why don't you."

After about fifteen minutes Rukia finally calmed down. "Mind telling me why I woke up with your face dominating my field of vision?" Ichigo demanded.

A few giggles escaped Rukia as she said, "I was actually checking to see if you were all right, I was sensing wakefulness and frustration in your riatsu at three in the morning. I was wondering what could have caused that so I have been observing you all night. I was so close to you right then because I was straining to hear the last words that you said right before you woke up."

"The last words that I said?"

"Well, you were having quite the erotic dream beforehand; it was so intense that you actually climaxed without anything but the sheets touching you."

Ichigo blushed furiously and asked, "What did I say right before I woke up?"

Rukia grinned and leaned forward, "You said, "I love you, Juushiro, Shunsui."

Ichigo turned the color of a ripe tomato, all the way down to his toes Rukia noted.

"I really said that?" Ichigo squeaked.

"Yes, you did. However, I have not told anyone and don't plan to unless you want me to."

"Thanks Rukia."

"You're welcome, however, I have some questions for you to answer, and I would like you to answer them truthfully please."

'Uh-oh'

"Is this what has been keeping you up every night?'

"Yes."

"Have you looked into why you are having these dreams?"

"I don't need to look into why I already know, I said it this morning before I woke up right? I love them."

"Have you done anything about it?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I…don't know how."

Rukia stared at him for what seemed like five minutes, Ichigo suspected it was closer to five seconds. Then she bowed her head and started giggling, "Have you even come up with any ideas?"

"Having them brought up on charges of stealing personal property?"

"You mean stealing your heart."

"Yes."

"It sucks doesn't it?"

"Yes, yes it does. Wait!" Rukia looked as if a light bulb had gone off in her head, "It could work, just not bringing them up on charges of stealing your heart. You steal something of theirs that they carry around everywhere."

"W…What?"

Rukia gasped as if she hadn't heard Ichigo, "Taicho doesn't carry around anything, but Kyoraku Taicho does! You steal his flowered haori and run off with it."

Ichigo was positively terrified by this idea, "Umm, Rukia, you seem to have forgotten something."

"I have?"

"Yes, remember I can't control my riatsu near well enough to sneak into a taicho's room and take something."

"Oh, don't worry about that! A well placed drug, say in his sake, will take care of that. You just have to sneak in and take it!"

"Another flaw Rukia, if you can't tell we're not exactly in Soul Society right now."

"No, but we will be, tonight in fact."

"Eh?"

"Orders from the Sotaicho, I am to bring you to Soul Society for your summer break for a special training program. I know the Winter War is over, but that doesn't change the fact that hollows still exist, all types and levels. This is training so that you use less energy when fighting hollows. If I remember correctly your teachers are going to be…" an evil smile split Rukia's face, "Ukitake Taicho and Kyoraku Taicho."

Ichigo didn't know whether to freeze in terror, or make a run for it, the issue was settled for him, however, by the appearance of Urahara Kisuke. "All ready to go then Kurosaki-kun? The Sotaicho wants you to be in Soul Society as soon as possible."

Ichigo sighed, "I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Just let me write a note to my sisters and my dad."

"Oh, you don't need to worry about that Kurosaki-kun," Urahara assured him cheerfully, "Your father was informed of all of this yesterday, and so there is no need to worry."

"All right then, let's go." While Urahara had been talking, Ichigo had packed a bag with all of his essentials, including his summer homework. Using his substitute shinigami badge, he left his body. Popping Kon into his body he told the mod soul,"No funny business, got that?"

"Yes!"

"Good. Well, what are we waiting for, let's go."

Entering Urahara's basement, as Rukia proceeded to open the gate, Ichigo praying that this time he would be properly guided by a hell butterfly walked in.