Title: Something Nice Back Home
Rating:
T
Summary:
It would probably be over in five seconds, really; no big deal. Despite this, Yugi still didn't want to open the letter – but he told himself he had to, because he was Atem's partner, and he owed the pharaoh that much.
Genre:
Angst/Romance
Pairings:
Heavy hints of puzzleshipping (Atem/Yugi) and tinytinytiny hints of peachshipping (Yugi/Téa) that you can ignore if you really want to. Even though I wrote this one-shot with only puzzles in mind, I guess I eventually decided Téa's character was just too important to not include in the romantic aspects of this fic.
Spoilers: Everything. But if you're reading fanfiction you're most likely done with the entire series, are you not?
Words: 3583


Disclaimer: On every Yu-Gi-Oh product I have found there is the name "4Kids" inscribed on it somewhere. I have come to the conclusion that this company is somehow related to the ownership of the English-dubbed Yu-Gi-Oh.

Major props and thanks to Mel from the FPA forum.

A/N: This idea came to me while watching Lost at the time (season 5 episode 7, titled "316"), when Jack Shephard, the main character of the episode, was wangsting over a a suicide note left to him by an ex-friend, of sorts.

I know that all of the characters are fine and happy and dandy in the end of the show, but I'd disregard all of that optimistic pep talk for a moment if you want this to make sense. This was typed up during a weird state of depression and is obviously not the happiest thing anybody's ever written, so it might be easier to imagine happening if Yugi and Joey, especially, weren't as content as they were at the end of the last episode. Enjoy.


Something Nice Back Home

He couldn't even imagine how the pharaoh would have found the time to write it, much less how he learned to actually write. He'd spent so much of his time in this world saving it that there hadn't been many opportunities to experience the written word. So understandably, Yugi found himself at a bit speechless when it was given to him, blinking at what now lay in his hand with disbelief only hours after he'd watched his best friend walk into Death's waiting doors.

"He came to my room last night," Marik said after he'd handed Yugi the letter. "I couldn't sleep, so I was awake when he knocked on my door at about one in the morning… He asked that if – when – he lost, I would to give this to you after he was gone. I didn't want to, and I'm sorry if you don't want it, but I realized this was a final request, of sorts, from someone who knew he was going to die. I couldn't deny him that. I hope you understand."

Yugi nodded stiffly, staring at the single word on the cover of the envelope in his hand. In upright, formal handwriting had been written 'Yugi' with solid black ink. Perversity wouldn't let him tear his gaze away.

Marik looked at him worriedly. "…Can I do something for you?" At the hesitance of the other, he went on, "I mean it. If I can do anything at all to help, I will. Just tell me what it is."

"I guess I just want… proof," Yugi said finally.

"It's not really something that you can hold, Yugi," Marik replied. A twitch of a bitter smile played on his lips. "It's not tangible."

"Then what is it?"

"You should know that better than anyone," he said, almost sadly. "It's faith."

Yugi bit the inside of his cheek. "All right, it's faith. And that's what tells me that this was supposed to happen? That this really was his destiny? I know he has to go home, but… are you sure this is right?"

The Egyptian said nothing for a long time. Soft lavender eyes moved down to stare at the ground as he eventually sighed. "You never can tell, Yugi."

Part of Yugi wanted to demand an explanation; why had there been so much harping on about following the road of Fate if they weren't even sure it was the right road in the first place? But Yugi knew he couldn't blame Marik; like so much else, this, of all things, could never be his fault. It was not him to blame that he was born into a family that forbid him from the outside world, and an environment that he'd come to resent as soon as he realized his purpose was to serve not himself but another that the world had not seen in three millennia.

It wasn't Marik Ishtar's fault that the pharaoh left. Yugi couldn't blame someone else for the consequences of an action that was so very obviously his own doing.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

Marik watched him for a few moments before letting out a long breath of air. "We're obliged to follow destiny, Yugi. It's not a choice we are given, but I hope you don't think that it will control every aspect of your life." He placed a cautious hand on his shoulder. "You're always going to be Yugi Mutou. Not even destiny can take that away from you."

As Yugi watched the tomb-keeper walk away, the ghost of the imprint of a hand left on his shoulder, he hoped that the pharaoh was happy, wherever he was. They'd gone through too much to make sure he ended up gone. Dead and gone. And maybe he had someone, back in Ancient Egypt, to make him happy in ways that nobody could do in the living world. The thought stung.

He folded the letter and placed it in his back pocket. Whatever the pharaoh wanted to say could wait; because as far as he was concerned, all Atem's final words, just like Marik's, would do was confirm him of his real identity. He didn't need the reminder.

"You're Yugi. The only Yugi in the world."

He was no longer connected to an Ancient Egyptian king. He no longer had another self. A partner. That man was gone, forever, leaving the only Yugi Mutou in the world feeling independent, confident, and bitterly alone.


The trip back on the boat was too long for any of them to appreciate. It took most of the day, starting from midday and landing back at the dock they had started at in the late afternoon. Yugi spent most of the given time sleeping, having curled up under the covers of the bed in his room and staying there until there was a knock on the door announcing their journey's end.

"We landed at the dock about fifteen minutes ago," Téa told him cautiously, as if unsure how he would respond. "Ishizu and Marik arranged our flights for us: our plane takes off in a few hours, so it'll be enough time to catch some dinner before going."

Yugi nodded, looking up at her. "…Are you all right?"

She blinked, startled. "You're asking me that?"

"Well… yeah." His eyebrows connected. "I mean, I know you liked him, so I figured – "

"I have the least amount of reason to mope about him leaving," Téa said firmly. Worriedly. She looked at him closely, as if she didn't recognize part of the person she saw there. "I know how much he meant to you."

The thing was, he wasn't sure if she really did. There was a difference between a teenage crush and the connection that you shared with the other half of your soul. But Yugi couldn't hate Téa if he tried, and he didn't want to – the only thing she was guilty of was not completely understanding how much it could hurt when your partner… left. Willingly. And there was no way she could truly comprehend it, so really, it was nobody's fault at all.

Dinner was a rushed event provided by the Ishtars onboard the ship. Yugi didn't notice what he had consumed and didn't really care all that much. After everyone was full and at least relatively content, people were driven to the airport, where, finally, official goodbyes were said and given.

"We'll be in touch," Ishizu informed Yugi as Marik made farewells to Joey and Tristan. "Yugi…" Her gaze grew the tiniest bit softer as she looked down at him. "Please, if you need anything…"

He waited.

"…You know how to reach us," she finished finally to cover up the words not said. At Yugi's hesitant and grateful nod, she placed a firm, comforting hand on his shoulder before silently moving back to the car. Within the next minute, Marik was finished; as he walked back to the car, his eyes connected with Yugi's for half a second. The younger turned away before the blonde Egyptian could say a word.

The Ishtars drove off, leaving the rest of them standing at the doors to the airport.

"…It doesn't feel right," Joey said finally, frowning. "None of it."

Téa sighed. "It's just destiny, Joey."

"Well, then, destiny's a fickle bitch," Joey declared, clearly upset but trying not to show it. "Why couldn't he have stayed? What more did he need to do so he wouldn't have to go?"

"He didn't need to do anything, Joey. That's the problem," Tristan said, looking to the ground. "The world is done with him. The Shadow Games, the Millennium Items, the soul-stealing card games, all the paranormal bad guys – they're gone now, thanks to him. The world doesn't need saving anymore. He's done his job."

"How can you accept that?" Joey asked him. "How can you say it and move on, just like that?"

"It's not 'just like that,'" Tristan replied, affronted as his voice grew louder. "Joey, you – "

" – Need to understand that whoever that guy was is gone," Kaiba's voice finished from a few feet away. "And he's never coming back. So just get over it."

Joey narrowed his eyes at the CEO. "None of us are in the mood, Kaiba. Get lost."

"Gladly. It'll certainly beat standing around here and listening to you geeks moping about the death of some ancient spirit that was already dead. Come on, Mokuba."

The brunette turned and walked briskly to another car waiting for him in the parking lot that proudly displayed the Kaiba Corp layout over its black paint. The younger of the two carried Seto's suitcase in his arms, glancing back at Yugi and his friends ever few meters, as the taller walked strictly toward the limo that would bring him to his jet, the sky, and home.

"You can't run, Kaiba," Téa said loudly, calling after him. "You're still connected to all of this."

Kaiba stopped walking as laughter burst from his throat. "There's nothing to run from, Gardener," he said matter-of-factly, turning halfway around to meet her stare. "It's all gone. All of your illusionistic tricks are over. You have nothing left. Not even that little puzzle of Yugi's that everyone liked to believe was magic."

"Why do you find it so hard to believe?" Téa shot at the taller man, eyes narrowing.

Kaiba narrowed his eyes. "Why do you find it so easy?"

"It's never been easy!" she cried. "Do you know how hard it's been for us? You should, Kaiba, because you've been there. You can deny it all you want but you've seen with your own eyes how much each of us is capable of doing. You've seen what we've been through. And I know that you know how much it hurts that he left."

"Don't you geeks have another adventure to get to?" the CEO drawled impatiently. "I think Timmy fell down a well over that way."

"Damn it, Kaiba, we're serious," Joey snarled, taking an intimidating step forward. "You've just got your head so far stuck up your own butt that you can't even – "

"I'd love to stand here and waste time with you, Wheeler, but I've got a company to run. I hope we never see each other again."

The Kaibas exited the scene with not another word passed between them and the other party left on the sidewalk.

"Bastard." Joey swore under his breath. "I'll laugh when he's dead in a ditch."

"Joey," Ryou chided gently, but his words did not hold as much sternness as they normally would.

"Why can't he just suck it up and accept the evidence?" the blonde ranted. "It's right there in front of him. He's seen proof. He knows we're right, and still, he just…"

"Nobody cares about the truth," Téa said, voice soft. "All they care about is what they believe in."

Duke eyed Téa, concerned. "Are you all right?"

"I loved Atem," she went on, eyes threatening tears. "Maybe not like everybody thought I did – but then, everybody loved him, in a way. And I love what he gave me. Self-confidence and a new lease on life. A chance to start over and a chance to be myself. And that's just me – it's not even half of what he gave to Yugi." She swallowed, steadying her voice. "I know that we can recreate the true essence of what we had if we try. We're a family now. The pharaoh gave us a jump start, and we can come together on our own this time, a little stronger than we were before."

Yugi nodded. "She's right." As they all turned to look at him – Joey, Tristan, Téa, Duke, Bakura, and his very own grandfather – he avoided their eye contact, trying to keep his voice straight as it threatened to break apart indefinitely. He could feel the letter in his back pocket outlined clearly now, more than ever. "Come on," he said, turning to walk inside. "Let's go."


"I offer my condolences."

Yugi turned at the familiar voice. He could see Shaadi standing in the doorway to his room, the dim light of the moon that was streaming through his skylight barely highlighting the Egyptian's figure. But he was there.

Yugi nodded. "Thank you."

Shaadi's eyes watched him, emotions never ones to make themselves known upon his face. "My duty to the Nameless Pharaoh is over, and thus, my duty to you is completed as well." He paused. "I have not known what it is like to be human for centuries, so I cannot speak lies and tell you that I can feel the pain of my king's departure from this world." He let out a breath of air that might have once been a sigh. "Despite this, I wish you to know that his leave is influential to my spirit, as well. He will not be forgotten if you do not wish for him to be so."

How could he forget Atem?

In a way, however, Yugi wished he would, wished he could. He wished he could forget the pharaoh – so that this after-time wouldn't hurt so much, at least. So he wouldn't know how emptiness really felt, when you looked over to your side where your partner was supposed to be and there was only empty air to greet you.

He didn't want to know this feeling for the rest of his time on Earth.

"I was not to confront you," Shaadi mentioned, stating the irony as if this would make for a good conversation topic. "I was told that once my duty to the pharaoh is over, I was not to have any contact with you nor any of your friends and acquaintances."

"I was told a lot of things too," Yugi said quietly. "That I was chosen, that I was 'special'…" He paused. "I ended up with bruises and cuts all over my body and my best friend's death by my hands."

Shaadi did not move, though his gaze did shift slowly downwards. "I am sorry those things happened to you."

"Those things had to happen to me." Yugi shook his head. "I just didn't understand at the time that there are… consequences, to being chosen."

"Indeed." He hesitated, as if something had just come to mind. "I must take my leave."

"What will you do now?" Yugi asked finally.

"Whatever the gods wish for me next to do," Shaadi replied, perhaps the tiniest bit downcast, automatically. "I bid you farewell, Yugi Mutou." The Egyptian turned, for the last time, to walk out the door to Yugi's bedroom, and he was not seen again.

Yugi sat on his bed quietly, not bothering to turn on the light. School was in a few days; he'd have to finish his homework. He still had chores to do, dishes to wash and carpets to vacuum. But still, the only thing Yugi could bring himself to do was to reach into his back pocket.

Maybe this was how it was supposed to feel. Belly flip-flopping, heart thumping. When you were so scared to crash but hadn't really had time to think about it because the adrenaline is pumping so fast, so loud, all throughout your body. Maybe they called it falling for a reason.

He pulled out Atem's final words, and read them to himself as his fingers clung tight to the last mystery of the Nameless Pharaoh.


Yugi,

You do not have to pretend that you are happy. I can see that you are not.

When you first solved the Millennium Puzzle, I was a monster. I greedily rushed out into the world, experiencing the feel and sights and sense of living that I had so greatly missed for three millennia. In that moment, before you were even aware of me, I was already taking things from you. The first thing I took was your body. The second I took was your knowledge. The third was your identity.

Please forgive me. You have just left for your soul room, and while you are expecting me to build a deck powerful enough to challenge yours, I am writing this to you. I cannot bring myself to even begin creating this deck, because I know what this duel will mean to the both of us, and I am far too much of a coward to take my own first step in its direction now that we both know where the road must take me. But we all have our parts to play.

Partner, I know you must grow tired of this – among other things – but I feel I must apologize for all things left unsaid that you still blame me for. There is far too much that might fall under that category that I am afraid to begin to list them all; the only thing I can do now is hope that you find it within yourself, given time, to forgive me for all of the hardships I have brought upon your life.

It is clear that I will lose tomorrow's duel. If you are reading this than this knowledge has been confirmed.

No matter how much we deny it, the fact remains that I do not belong in your world. There is only one Yugi Mutou, and it is he who I am addressing this letter to. The world can handle the two of us no longer; for if it does, the Shadow Games shall return, and I would not be able to bear the thought of you being forced to handle any more than you had to. I will be gone soon, and you will be freed from the burden that you have held on your shoulders for the past year and a half.

Despite this, for my horribly selfish reasons, I wish to stay. I know it is impossible and I know it is not right, but sometimes, just sometimes…

I… have something to tell you, partner. Something that will change your life forever. But I do not know how to say it, and I am hesitant to even think about it, so I doubt I will tell you here.

And you will probably never find out.

You have something waiting for you back home. It is something I could never give you, because I will be gone as soon as you defeat me tomorrow. I am nothing more than a spirit inhabiting your body: I am a guest in your soul, a parasite, and there is nothing I can do to help you achieve what I know you so very desperately want. There will be others, I know. Despite my jealously, I know this is for the best. An ending with me is not what was to happen; if it was, then you would not be reading this. Do not hold yourself from the world because of me.

I know you will leave Egypt with the weight of what will transpire tomorrow on your shoulders; and partner, I know the only person who can ever take it off is you. Please, do not give up.

All we need is one person who truly loves us, Yugi… You had me. And now you have her.

I will wait for you.


Yugi wanted to see a signature at the bottom, at least to prove all of this was real. But it had to be real; it was solid, in his very palm, and there was no doubt in the world that this was written by the man he knew no longer existed. He didn't need a signed name to convince himself that the past year and a half wasn't just his own imagination and wishful thinking.

He kept seeing the pharaoh in his mind, so ready to leave, to give it all up, just to make sure the world would be fine. Yugi wanted to hate him. He wanted to be able to yell and scream at his former partner and curse him to Hell a thousand times over for actually leaving; but at the same time, he wanted him back, because as much as Yugi hated hurting like this he hated missing the pharaoh even more. They had been told that it was the pharaoh's destiny to go home, and even if Yugi had always been a firm believer follower in destiny, this time, he had wanted so very badly to be wrong.

Give me proof that this is supposed to happen, Yugi had said, and Marik couldn't. It's not tangible, he'd said, you can't mark it so clearly. But against faith, the case was solid. Easily argued. Seto Kaiba had stubbornly told himself this, despite all evidence to the contrary; and with time, determination, and enough denial, he had believed it.

Maybe this wasn't supposed to happen. Maybe Yugi really shouldn't have won, shouldn't have chosen Monster Reborn even though – no, because – he knew Atem would have. But like so much else, it was too late now. He'd seen what destiny could do, what belief in Fate could lead you to. Belief in friends that would follow you to the ends of the earth and beyond, and belief a partner that stood by your side no matter what the odds.

And despite how much he wished he didn't, Yugi knew for a fact that there was such a thing as destiny, as well as a road leading to it. He knew that there was proof of Fate in the world. Faith. Love. And you could, indeed, hold it in your hand.


A/N: I have mixed opinions about this fic, so please let me know if you thought it personally worked for you. I'd much appreciate it. :)