*disclaimer* I don't own them. But I do own a laptop.
AN: Did you know that vanilla is 35% alcohol? This story is the product of two family sized bottles and a generous helping of butterscotch. It's good stuff!
Part I: Heero's Laptop
Heero is in his apartment hacking away at government security on his ever present laptop when he is interrupted by a knock on the door. He sighs and rapidly commits all the clearance codes he just picked up to memory and heads towards the door. He pauses to check his eternal spandex shorts for his omnipresent handgun and then opens the door.
To find a braided and violet eyed American standing there.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Duo shifts around uncomfortably.
"Um, well, Wufei and I had a fight. I stormed out because he was being stubborn and then I hear a little click and find out the door's locked. And I, uh, don't have a key."
Heero curses himself momentarily for not moving away when they moved in next door. "And you're here because..."
"Because I knew you would let me stay here until Wufei gets his temper under control."
"..." Heero wonders what Wufei would do to him if he shot Duo in the leg.
"Thanks Hee-chan, I knew I could count on you."
"But I..." Duo pushes past Heero in to the apartment. Heero turns around to find him standing in the living room looking around.
"Nice pad, Heero. Where do I sleep?"
"...On the couch. And just for tonight."
"No problem, Wu-chan will probably be over here begging me to come back in the morning. He's really actually very soft, now that the wars over, and he can't stand slee-"
Heero loses what little control he achieved. "Shut up!" He pauses and takes a deep breath. "All right, I'm going to bed now. You get some sleep, or at least keep quiet." He heads towards his room, but turns back around suddenly. "And don't touch the laptop."
"Roger-dodger, Hee-chan." Duo flashes his huge smile at Heero, who rolls his eyes and stalks off to his room.
Duo rolls over on the couch and prepares to sleep. Then rolls over again. And again. He tosses around for a few minutes then sits up and shivers.
"I miss Wu-chan," he whines plaintively. His eyes fall on the flat black box on the coffee table. "So that's Heero's laptop." He reaches towards it then jerks his hands back. "No, Heero said not to touch it." he wrestles with himself momentarily and suddenly develops split personalities.
"How's he gonna know? One look won't hurt, right?"
"But he said not too. He might have some way to find out."
"What's it gonna do? Sound an alarm?"
"Actually, I'm more worried it'll self detonate."
"..."
"And besides, he's being nice and letting us stay here. We shouldn't mess with his private stuff. Now go to sleep!" Duo suddenly snaps back to a single personality, shrugs and rolls over.
Ten seconds later, he has rolled over and snapped open the cover of the laptop.
"Figures, he turned it off. Well, this button ought to turn it on." He hits the green button at the top right corner of the keyboard. A loud tone sounds. "Damn machine! Quiet!" He listens anxiously for a few minutes, then breathes a sigh of relief when Heero doesn't storm out of his room. "What?! Password? Great what would be his password?" He types wingzero and it says "access denied" really loudly. "Damn computer!" He tries omaeokorosu. Access denied. duoishot. Access denied. "Great, it's going to lock any moment now and I'm outta ideas. Hey maybe..." He types relenasucks and it goes through. "That's it? 'relenasucks' is the password? Hn, go figure." The laptop has fully loaded now. "Hey check out the background. I had no idea he kept that picture of us after the Marimea fiasco." Duo holds a mini-debate with himself on whether to explore Heero's favorite's list or his files first. Favorites.
He activates the explorer icon and clicks the favorites menu. "Hn, they're all numbers. Oh well, only one way to find out. A passworded page!" Duo makes a sound of disgust. 'Well, I'm fed up with trying to figure out his passwords. I'll try the next. Another! Passwords! More passwords! INJUSTICE!!!!" Duo suddenly realizes he has been shouting at the top of his lungs. He ruefully acknowledges that Wufei has had a lot of influence on him as he quickly snaps the laptop shut of flings himself down on the couch. He has barely settled in when Heero comes in.
"What the hell!" he shouts furiously. Duo sits up and looks sheepish.
"Sorry Hee-chan. I was dreaming about Wufei." Duo thinks very quickly when lying. "You see, we were-"
"Never mind. I don't want to know." It was dark, but it seems to Duo like Heero is blushing. "Try not to be so vocal in your dreams." Heero stalks back into his room. After Duo is satisfied he's not coming back out, he sits back up and opens the laptop again.
"All right, I'm fed up with all his passworded favorites. I'll try the last one and move on to the files." He manipulates the trackpad* to the favorites list one last time and selects the last one. He stares at it in shock for a few minutes and then works valiantly to suppresses the urge to burst out laughing. "Well what do you know. Heero's into hentai. Veeeery interesting page, Hee-chan."
After examining the page from top to bottom and all it's links, Duo holds another mini-debate with himself. Files or give the favorites list another try. The argument is won as he glances at his watch. "Hn, it's 4:30 already**. Heero usually goes out jogging at 5, so I'd better wrap this up quick. Files it is." Duo opens up the "my computer" icon, noticing in passing that it's a picture of wing zero. A folder marked "Security Cam" catches his eye. He activates it to find a bunch of video files marked with dates. The one at the top right is marked "Current". "Oh God, he could have a camera trained on me right now! I'd better check it. He taught me some stuff about sabotaging files, but I'm not sure I remember them all." Full of apprehension, Duo opens it. He doesn't see himself, but a large double bed with a patterned cover over it. The design on the cover is strangely familiar, as is the figure sleeping in the bed. "Kisama!! He's got a camera in our room!"
Duo holds yet another debate with himself. "How do I tell him without letting him know I was in his laptop? I can't let him know that! But I can't let him have a spy camera in our room either. And I can't tell Wufei, he'll just bull in here and hold Heero at sword point and might even kill him! So I'll have to tell Heero-"
"Tell Heero what?" a cold voice interrupts. Duo winces as he realizes that the voice belongs to Heero. "Why are you in my laptop?" Heero's voice carries overtones of glaciers and daggers. Duo winces again, and decides to try to make a deal.
"I'll tell you what Heero. You don't get mad at me and I won't get mad at you."
"Why would you be mad at me?"
"I don't know Heero, but I think most would be offended if someone else was spying in their bedroom." Heero's face suddenly fills with chagrin. "I'll tell you what, if you dismantle it and never remantle it, I won't tell Wufei."
"..." Heero suddenly realizes that what Wufei would do to him if he ever knew would probably be moderately horrendous. "Deal. But first you've got to be able to talk to Wufei and get back in the house."
"I'll go take care of it right now." Duo makes a move towards the door, but turns around. "Heero?"
"Hn?"
"Why did you put a camera in our room?" An annoyed look crosses the Perfect Soldier's face.
"So that if either of you ever came over here to make me straighten out your fights, I'd know what really happened!"
"That's a great idea, Hee-chan!"
"...it is?"
"Yeah, next time we have a fight, you can be our mediator! I've changed my mind Heero, don't take it out." Duo flashes a huge smile at Heero, who blanches at the thought. As Duo leaves, he logs back on to his laptop.
"Now let's see. What's the cost of living in Machu Pichu?"
-End
*Track pads are bloody annoying!!! It's all about the track balls and track points!
**It occurs to me the whole timing thing might be confusing. Duo walks in at about midnight. It's about an half hour later when he starts playing with the laptop. He takes about one and a half hours before shouting "injustice" at the passworded pages. It's about 2 in the morning now. At 2:15, he's back on the laptop looking at Heero's hentai page. He examines every single corner, and it is now 4:30. 'K?
Well, that was interesting. Let me know if it just wasn't funny, I'm writing this part sober and I don't know...
I'd like to take this opportunity to thank and apologize. First if all, sorry Heero and Duo, I didn't really mean for this to come out this way. I intended a much worse ending, but I still bashed you guys a bit. I would like to say right now that all the G-boys are awesome and I love them all to death. Special thanks to you, the readers (or rather the reviewers), and also to J.R.R. Tolkein, who gave me the idea for Duo's split personality thing after reading his Lord of the Rings series. Now that you're done, REVIEW!!!! Pretty please?
-TBS
AN: Did you know that vanilla is 35% alcohol? This story is the product of two family sized bottles and a generous helping of butterscotch. It's good stuff!
Part I: Heero's Laptop
Heero is in his apartment hacking away at government security on his ever present laptop when he is interrupted by a knock on the door. He sighs and rapidly commits all the clearance codes he just picked up to memory and heads towards the door. He pauses to check his eternal spandex shorts for his omnipresent handgun and then opens the door.
To find a braided and violet eyed American standing there.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Duo shifts around uncomfortably.
"Um, well, Wufei and I had a fight. I stormed out because he was being stubborn and then I hear a little click and find out the door's locked. And I, uh, don't have a key."
Heero curses himself momentarily for not moving away when they moved in next door. "And you're here because..."
"Because I knew you would let me stay here until Wufei gets his temper under control."
"..." Heero wonders what Wufei would do to him if he shot Duo in the leg.
"Thanks Hee-chan, I knew I could count on you."
"But I..." Duo pushes past Heero in to the apartment. Heero turns around to find him standing in the living room looking around.
"Nice pad, Heero. Where do I sleep?"
"...On the couch. And just for tonight."
"No problem, Wu-chan will probably be over here begging me to come back in the morning. He's really actually very soft, now that the wars over, and he can't stand slee-"
Heero loses what little control he achieved. "Shut up!" He pauses and takes a deep breath. "All right, I'm going to bed now. You get some sleep, or at least keep quiet." He heads towards his room, but turns back around suddenly. "And don't touch the laptop."
"Roger-dodger, Hee-chan." Duo flashes his huge smile at Heero, who rolls his eyes and stalks off to his room.
Duo rolls over on the couch and prepares to sleep. Then rolls over again. And again. He tosses around for a few minutes then sits up and shivers.
"I miss Wu-chan," he whines plaintively. His eyes fall on the flat black box on the coffee table. "So that's Heero's laptop." He reaches towards it then jerks his hands back. "No, Heero said not to touch it." he wrestles with himself momentarily and suddenly develops split personalities.
"How's he gonna know? One look won't hurt, right?"
"But he said not too. He might have some way to find out."
"What's it gonna do? Sound an alarm?"
"Actually, I'm more worried it'll self detonate."
"..."
"And besides, he's being nice and letting us stay here. We shouldn't mess with his private stuff. Now go to sleep!" Duo suddenly snaps back to a single personality, shrugs and rolls over.
Ten seconds later, he has rolled over and snapped open the cover of the laptop.
"Figures, he turned it off. Well, this button ought to turn it on." He hits the green button at the top right corner of the keyboard. A loud tone sounds. "Damn machine! Quiet!" He listens anxiously for a few minutes, then breathes a sigh of relief when Heero doesn't storm out of his room. "What?! Password? Great what would be his password?" He types wingzero and it says "access denied" really loudly. "Damn computer!" He tries omaeokorosu. Access denied. duoishot. Access denied. "Great, it's going to lock any moment now and I'm outta ideas. Hey maybe..." He types relenasucks and it goes through. "That's it? 'relenasucks' is the password? Hn, go figure." The laptop has fully loaded now. "Hey check out the background. I had no idea he kept that picture of us after the Marimea fiasco." Duo holds a mini-debate with himself on whether to explore Heero's favorite's list or his files first. Favorites.
He activates the explorer icon and clicks the favorites menu. "Hn, they're all numbers. Oh well, only one way to find out. A passworded page!" Duo makes a sound of disgust. 'Well, I'm fed up with trying to figure out his passwords. I'll try the next. Another! Passwords! More passwords! INJUSTICE!!!!" Duo suddenly realizes he has been shouting at the top of his lungs. He ruefully acknowledges that Wufei has had a lot of influence on him as he quickly snaps the laptop shut of flings himself down on the couch. He has barely settled in when Heero comes in.
"What the hell!" he shouts furiously. Duo sits up and looks sheepish.
"Sorry Hee-chan. I was dreaming about Wufei." Duo thinks very quickly when lying. "You see, we were-"
"Never mind. I don't want to know." It was dark, but it seems to Duo like Heero is blushing. "Try not to be so vocal in your dreams." Heero stalks back into his room. After Duo is satisfied he's not coming back out, he sits back up and opens the laptop again.
"All right, I'm fed up with all his passworded favorites. I'll try the last one and move on to the files." He manipulates the trackpad* to the favorites list one last time and selects the last one. He stares at it in shock for a few minutes and then works valiantly to suppresses the urge to burst out laughing. "Well what do you know. Heero's into hentai. Veeeery interesting page, Hee-chan."
After examining the page from top to bottom and all it's links, Duo holds another mini-debate with himself. Files or give the favorites list another try. The argument is won as he glances at his watch. "Hn, it's 4:30 already**. Heero usually goes out jogging at 5, so I'd better wrap this up quick. Files it is." Duo opens up the "my computer" icon, noticing in passing that it's a picture of wing zero. A folder marked "Security Cam" catches his eye. He activates it to find a bunch of video files marked with dates. The one at the top right is marked "Current". "Oh God, he could have a camera trained on me right now! I'd better check it. He taught me some stuff about sabotaging files, but I'm not sure I remember them all." Full of apprehension, Duo opens it. He doesn't see himself, but a large double bed with a patterned cover over it. The design on the cover is strangely familiar, as is the figure sleeping in the bed. "Kisama!! He's got a camera in our room!"
Duo holds yet another debate with himself. "How do I tell him without letting him know I was in his laptop? I can't let him know that! But I can't let him have a spy camera in our room either. And I can't tell Wufei, he'll just bull in here and hold Heero at sword point and might even kill him! So I'll have to tell Heero-"
"Tell Heero what?" a cold voice interrupts. Duo winces as he realizes that the voice belongs to Heero. "Why are you in my laptop?" Heero's voice carries overtones of glaciers and daggers. Duo winces again, and decides to try to make a deal.
"I'll tell you what Heero. You don't get mad at me and I won't get mad at you."
"Why would you be mad at me?"
"I don't know Heero, but I think most would be offended if someone else was spying in their bedroom." Heero's face suddenly fills with chagrin. "I'll tell you what, if you dismantle it and never remantle it, I won't tell Wufei."
"..." Heero suddenly realizes that what Wufei would do to him if he ever knew would probably be moderately horrendous. "Deal. But first you've got to be able to talk to Wufei and get back in the house."
"I'll go take care of it right now." Duo makes a move towards the door, but turns around. "Heero?"
"Hn?"
"Why did you put a camera in our room?" An annoyed look crosses the Perfect Soldier's face.
"So that if either of you ever came over here to make me straighten out your fights, I'd know what really happened!"
"That's a great idea, Hee-chan!"
"...it is?"
"Yeah, next time we have a fight, you can be our mediator! I've changed my mind Heero, don't take it out." Duo flashes a huge smile at Heero, who blanches at the thought. As Duo leaves, he logs back on to his laptop.
"Now let's see. What's the cost of living in Machu Pichu?"
-End
*Track pads are bloody annoying!!! It's all about the track balls and track points!
**It occurs to me the whole timing thing might be confusing. Duo walks in at about midnight. It's about an half hour later when he starts playing with the laptop. He takes about one and a half hours before shouting "injustice" at the passworded pages. It's about 2 in the morning now. At 2:15, he's back on the laptop looking at Heero's hentai page. He examines every single corner, and it is now 4:30. 'K?
Well, that was interesting. Let me know if it just wasn't funny, I'm writing this part sober and I don't know...
I'd like to take this opportunity to thank and apologize. First if all, sorry Heero and Duo, I didn't really mean for this to come out this way. I intended a much worse ending, but I still bashed you guys a bit. I would like to say right now that all the G-boys are awesome and I love them all to death. Special thanks to you, the readers (or rather the reviewers), and also to J.R.R. Tolkein, who gave me the idea for Duo's split personality thing after reading his Lord of the Rings series. Now that you're done, REVIEW!!!! Pretty please?
-TBS