A/N: For the Skyrim Kink Meme
Prompt: I've seen a lot of fills and requests with the brothers where the Dragonborn always goes for Farkas when both brothers love her. I request a fic where both Farkas and Vilkas have feelings for the Dragonborn and she ends up choosing Vilkas.
Paint a Smile and Pretend
Part I
Life fucking hated her. First, she was arrested without actually committing a crime. Then she found out her entire purpose in life was to kill dragons. After that, Mercer Frey tried to kill her and betrayed the guild, she had to deal with Cicero and his weird Night Mother obsession, Kodlak died as she went to go get the cure to his lycanthropy, and she had to choose sides in a civil war between a man who wanted to force all non-Nords into ghettos and the people who tried to have her killed for no good reason in the first place. Everything she tried to do ended up causing a lot more damage than strictly necessary, but that was somewhat justifiable as the Trials of the Dovahkiin. This, this was just gratuitously painful.
She saw their stares the moment she walked into Jorrvaskr with the Amulet of Mara around her neck. As awesome as it was to have won the hearts of two twins, in a completely narcissistic way that she would deny ever feeling ever, she knew this could only end one way. And that, like everything else in her life, meant that a lot of pain would be involved.
She really didn't want to hurt either of them, but knowing Vilkas and Farkas, they'd both be hurt either way. Stupid twin empathy. Although, dragging things out even longer would only make things worse. Fuck.
Time for two really, really awkward conversations. Oh the joys of being the Dragonborn.
At least the decision was easy, for her at least. Some people might have had some kind of crisis or moral dilemma, but, luckily, she knew exactly how she felt about the two. Farkas, while kind and friendly and probably the most awesome member of the Companions, reminded her way too much of her brother. She just couldn't look at him and not think 'best brother ever.' Which would put a major damper on any kind of romantic feelings she might otherwise have had for him. Vilkas, on the other hand, was moody and snarky enough that he didn't remind her of any of her immediate family. She also kind of had a thing for the broody angst-bucket types.
Unhealthy, maybe, but better than the I-married-a-man-who-reminds-me-of-my-brother scenario.
She could do this two ways: Let Farkas down easy first, give him some time to get over her by getting hopelessly drunk and starting a fight, then telling Vilkas that she found his cynical skepticism adorable (not in those words, that'd go over about as well as calling him something like Fluffy). Or, she could just avoid talking to Farkas until after she and Vilkas had settled the weird love/hate tension they'd had going. Pretend she hadn't seen that challenging look after she walked in, play dumb, and let Farkas keep his pride. Not like it was that big of a thing with him, but, it'd probably be slightly less awkward.
Right.
She drained a tankard of mead and went to go corner Vilkas out by the training equipment in the yard.
Part II
She got distracted easily sometimes. Like a magpie. Anything shiny would catch her eye, so it wasn't really shock when she stood like an idiot watching Vilkas hack at a training dummy. Part of it was the flash of steel, the bead of sweat trailing down his brow, and part of it was simply the joy of watching a master at his art.
All of the Companions reveled in death in their own way, it was simply what they did, but Vilkas used intelligence and steel to strike only at the weak points in his enemies armor, despite his use of a two-handed sword.
He noticed her lurking after a particularly brutal swipe to the dummy's head and moved up to talk to her.
She took a deep breath and settled herself. She was the Dragonborn. Thane of several holds. Guildmaster. Arch-mage. She would be the goddamn Listener one day. She was plotting to kill an emperor. She slayed dragons more often than she slept. She could handle a conversation about her feelings.
"An amulet of Mara? You aren't married?" He canted his head to the side, looking way too much like a confused puppy for her mental health. Seriously. It rotted brains.
"No, not in the slightest. Surprised?" Self-depricating sarcasm was the best for diverting suspicions of awkwardness.
"I have to admit I am."
Fuck, she couldn't just- how do you respond to that?
"Why? You interested?"
"I'd be honored to fight by your side to my last breath. If you'll have me." Damnit, how does the man go from growly angst to spouting poetic proposals?
"I'd be honored to have you with me, Vilkas."
He smiled, swept her up into his arms, and kissed her. Setting her down, he leaned into her ear to whisper, "You do know about Farkas..."
"I was kind of hoping you'd let me pretend like I didn't."
"It isn't very becoming of our Harbinger to avoid confrontation like an honorable warrior."
"Okay, so, I'm unconventional and hate talking about feelings. Besides, can you blame me for not wanting to be the one to upset him?"
Vilkas sighed, a wry smile on his lips. "I know exactly how you feel."