I don't own Naruto and sadly never will and therefore make no money from this fic. I adore Kishimoto Masashi. I also did not write the wonderful lyrics to "Angry Angel." Lyrics and song belong to Imogen Heap.
This fic was inspired by, and includes lyrics to "Angry Angel" by Imogen Heap off of I, Megaphone. The album was originally released June 16, 1998 (11 years ago from the date of actually writing this fic, ironically enough). The CD was released November 14, 2006.
Thanks to Master of the Rebels for editing this piece for me.
The thumbnail over on y!gallery was created by the amazing fallenkarma with her permission. It's not actually a picture of Sasuke, but rather one of her original creations. The link can be found over on y!gal under her name. Thanks again for letting me use the pic! This fic is dedicated to her.
Angry Angel
Despite the rain and the dark, Naruto didn't slow down as he made a sharp turn, his hands gripping tightly on his steering wheel. His heart pounded in his chest, a cruel reminder that while his heart ached, it wasn't truly broken. It still beat despite the tempest of emotions raging inside of him.
His wipers swish-swished quickly across the windshield as the torrent of rain pounded down on the car relentlessly. It was getting more and more difficult to see, and a crazy part of Naruto wanted to keep going, keep driving, and swerving recklessly until his car rolled off the side of the hill down into some ditch somewhere.
And if he died, then maybe Sasuke would feel guilty because Sasuke would know that Naruto had been so upset with him, and he was the cause of his death.
Such a morbid thought truly caused Naruto to get a grip on himself that what he was doing was not okay. He pulled off into the parking lot of a little gas station. He couldn't think like that.
The rain continued to hail down upon his car, his heart hammering against his chest as he tried to calm down.
But both the erratic beats of his heart and the rain made Naruto feel even lonelier now that he wasn't moving. He turned on the radio, flipping through songs until he found something that didn't sound cheerful which meant that he couldn't listen to any of his usual preset buttons.
Finally, he stopped upon a song he had never heard before, but it seemed as though the lyrics were meant for him to hear, reminding him forcibly of Sasuke.
This is an obsession, a kind of aggression with himself
It's the way he'll always be
He loves to rebel to go against his ten commandments
For him, that's just being free.
Sasuke was a cheating bastard. Naruto knew that. After all, wasn't that how Sasuke had been when they had started dating? The thought struck him bitterly as that was likely why Sasuke had finally paid him any attention. Naruto was just someone Sasuke had used to get rid of the last guy he didn't want.
Naruto had known that Sasuke was dating some guy named Suigetsu when they had first hooked up. Even so, when Sasuke had approached Naruto, it had shocked him, but Naruto hadn't refused him.
After all, Naruto had been trying to get the mysterious man's attention for what seemed like years. Naruto had spotted him on his first day as a freshman, and soon everyone on campus had known the famous Uchiha Sasuke. He was handsome bordering on effeminate beauty, mysterious, and most intriguing enough, he was all but untouchable to the masses.
He was truly a dark angel, wearing loose-fitted clothing, not always dark in color, but always playing off of his mysteriousness.
During the summer months, Sasuke wore a dark blue shirt, white pants, and sandals. On anyone else, it would have looked almost comical, but Sasuke pulled it off. During the winter months, Sasuke was the epitome of dark beauty, wearing dark clothes and a dark trench coat to protect him from the winter's cold bite.
Sasuke rarely smiled, hinting at a tragic past that drew people to him, wanting to comfort him. Yet he seemed not to want to be comforted.
He was popular without trying to be due to his beauty and aloofness, and it had made Naruto envious. Attention was something that Naruto frequently craved, and he wanted the attention that people gave Sasuke. He went out of his way to get Sasuke to try and notice him, because if Sasuke noticed him, those that noticed Sasuke would then notice him as well.
At first, Sasuke had ignored him like he ignored practically everyone. It bothered Naruto. He hated being ignored, and he especially hated it because for some reason, Naruto wanted to be the one that made Sasuke smile.
Naruto didn't give up though. He continued to talk with Sasuke, saying things so outrageous just to get Sasuke's attention.
Sasuke rarely seemed happy, and Naruto felt that despite all the attention Sasuke could get, Naruto would be the one to make him happy. Every time he saw Sasuke, the young man seemed indifferent, or at best, angry at the world in general.
When Naruto told Sasuke he wanted to make him happy, Sasuke seemed struck speechless. After regaining his usual casual coolness, Sasuke hadn't brushed Naruto off when Naruto asked if he wanted to go for a drink. It was one of the first times they actually talked, really talked. Naruto found out that Sasuke, like him, had lost his parents at a young age. Naruto felt that he understood why Sasuke was so sad, but he wanted to show Sasuke that he didn't have to be angry at the world. Naruto wasn't.
During the beginning of their senior year, Suigetsu, a fellow student in one of Naruto's classes, had so happily informed Naruto that he and Sasuke had just started dating during the summer.
It had made Naruto jealous, but part of him hoped Sasuke was happy.
All the girls had seemed crushed finding out that not only was Sasuke taken but was also gay. Naruto was only sad about one of the two.
Naruto had thought that maybe Sasuke was just trying to be loyal to his boyfriend – and perhaps boyfriends past, and that's why Sasuke had never really paid much attention to him. After all, Sasuke had never mentioned dating Suigetsu even though Naruto had seen him during the summer months. Perhaps all those years Sasuke had had a boyfriend, and he just didn't flaunt it. Naruto reasoned that was probably why Sasuke rejected Naruto's advances.
Even though Naruto frequented the same places that Sasuke did with even more vigor after finding out that Suigetsu and Sasuke were dating, even though Naruto chatted about anything and nothing to get reactions out of Sasuke, Naruto now believed he knew why Sasuke didn't bother to respond to him. Naruto assumed it was out of loyalty to Suigetsu that Sasuke refused Naruto's obvious attempts at a friendship – and something more.
How wrong he had been.
Naruto had found out that Sasuke wasn't loyal to Suigetsu – or anyone for that matter.
When Sasuke had wanted to break up with Suigetsu, instead of actually breaking up with him, Sasuke had invited Naruto over to his place and let Suigetsu find them.
Naruto had been flattered when Sasuke invited him over, but he had had no idea what to expect. After all, he knew Sasuke had a boyfriend.
When Sasuke had come up behind him and began to lightly play with the back of Naruto's neck, what was Naruto supposed to do?
Feeling Sasuke's mouth at the juncture of neck and shoulder made warmth spread throughout his body. The moist warmth, the heat that radiated at that spot, was more sensual than anything had any right to be. When Sasuke began to nibble on the same spot, working out the tension in his shoulders, Naruto's entire body had practically melted against Sasuke.
"You make me happy," Sasuke had murmured.
With those words Sasuke cast a spell over Naruto, and before he knew what was going on, Sasuke's deft hands had discarded their clothes.
After so long of finally trying to get Sasuke's attention, Naruto's mind shut down when he had Sasuke's full attention on pleasuring his body.
Never before had Naruto been intimate with anyone unless they had been dating, but he couldn't help but spread his legs for Sasuke.
It felt too right for him to deny Sasuke.
Even when Naruto was on his hands and knees with Sasuke mounting him from behind, Naruto hadn't even been able to fully register what happened when Suigetsu stormed in to find them like that.
Suigetsu hadn't stayed longer than to yell obscenities at Sasuke. Sasuke didn't really seem to be listening, too intent on fucking Naruto.
Even the few weeks that followed when Sasuke and Naruto had started dating and Suigetsu had told Naruto that it was only a matter of time before Sasuke cheated on Naruto with someone else, Naruto didn't want to take him seriously.
Sasuke had said Naruto made him happy.
Suigetsu ranted at Naruto, reminding him how different they were, how popular Sasuke was and how no one seemed to know Naruto existed.
It was only a matter of time before Sasuke found someone better, Suigetsu claimed.
The girls in their class seemed disgruntled with Suigetsu's description of how much of a cheating bastard Sasuke was, but they seemed angrier at Naruto for having taken him than to learn that Sasuke might end up cheating on him with someone else. Naturally they were all hopeful he'd cheat on Naruto with one of them.
And he always will, get his thrills, the only way he knows how
Well it might make you frown
But he just loves, being that dove, roaming where he cares to go
To a state of mind which no-one knows.
Therefore, four months after dating, when Naruto came over to Sasuke's and went straight to Sasuke's bedroom when Sasuke didn't answer the door, perhaps he should have been better prepared.
Finding Sasuke snuggling next to someone else, whispering that he loved that person had made Naruto's heart break.
Never before had Sasuke claimed to love Naruto. To hear him whisper the words to a faceless lover in the bed that Naruto had come to share with Sasuke made Naruto crumble.
At first Naruto wildly hoped that perhaps it was one of those girls from his class. Somehow it wouldn't hurt as much if Sasuke fell for a woman. But his desperate and rather degrading hope was dashed when he heard the deep rumble of another male voice asking who he was.
Naruto did the same thing as Suigetsu had when he had found them together. He yelled obscenities at Sasuke, telling him he hated him, and how glad he was that they were no longer a couple.
Sasuke merely looked at him, as though Naruto were crazy, frowning at Naruto in confusion before Naruto raced out of Sasuke's house.
Naruto's mind was in a whirl as he pulled out of his parking spot, wondering if it was worth it to go back inside and fight for Sasuke. He truly loved Sasuke; he had fallen for him hard. Sasuke's differences complimented Naruto's, and he had thought they were meant for each other.
But never had Sasuke said he loved him. Hearing Sasuke say "I love you" to his unknown lover was the only reason Naruto hadn't decided to stay and beat the crap out of both of them.
He wanted Sasuke happy, and perhaps if Sasuke could say he loved the other man, then Naruto could be the bigger man and let Sasuke be happy.
Over there stands my angry angel
And he's shaking his head, in disgrace with me
Over there stands my angry angel
And he's frowning like hell, but I'm not feeling guilty.
Naruto gripped his hands on the steering wheel tighter, grinding his teeth. The betrayal hurt worse than if Sasuke had shoved his hand through his chest and ripped out his heart.
The question was: could Naruto be the bigger man? Could he let Sasuke go?
If Sasuke hadn't said he loved the other man, Naruto would have fought tooth and nail for him. Even while he had trusted Sasuke, mentally, looking over everything, he had been prepared to fight.
But if Sasuke loved this man...
Naruto would give up his own happiness to keep Sasuke happy.
Considerably calmer, Naruto pulled out of the little parking lot, cursing at how his windshield seemed even blurrier than normal as he ignored the tears streaming down his face.
Over and over again, more and more for the pain
To release himself, from this shell
Time after time, you may glare at
Him for the way he looks like something drawn up from hell.
Even so, Naruto couldn't help himself from obsessing over Sasuke. For the next week, he watched Sasuke from afar.
Sasuke didn't seem happier than usual.
Sasuke, as always, seemed like the mysterious and beautiful man he had always been, but just as angry as ever.
Naruto didn't see Sasuke with his mysterious lover. In fact, Sasuke was always alone, but he seemed to be looking for someone.
Naruto didn't have any delusions that Sasuke might be looking for him. After all, Sasuke had his phone number. If Sasuke wanted to get in touch with him, Sasuke could call, and the bastard hadn't bothered to call him after their break-up. Idly, Naruto wondered if his appearance at Sasuke's the other night had hurt the relationship between Sasuke and his new lover.
A part of him hoped so, and another part of him still hoped that Sasuke would be happy.
Lost to his musings as he wandered his campus, Naruto was caught off guard when a hand gripped his shirt, pulling him forward before tripping him backward onto the ground.
The breath left Naruto in a painful gasp as a heavy weight settled on his stomach. It wasn't until Naruto's hands were wrenched painfully over his head that Naruto recognized Sasuke sitting on top of him.
Sasuke glared down at him, but through the glare there was hurt and betrayal in Sasuke's eyes.
But that's just his cover
From what is under it
All his imagination, his
Passion for a creation
Which he has discovered,
Uncovered a world, of
Amazing sensations
His own little nation.
"Where have you been?" Sasuke demanded.
Of all the things he could have said, Naruto wasn't expecting that. But Naruto shoved at Sasuke, twisting his hips as he managed to dislodge Sasuke's weight from above him.
"None of your concern, asshole," Naruto spat, shoving Sasuke hard as Naruto got up and started walking away from Sasuke.
Naruto couldn't believe it when Sasuke shoved Naruto face first into a wall. Naruto cursed when Sasuke pressed his body up against his, making it difficult for Naruto to move.
"What the fuck is your problem?!" Naruto yelled.
"I hate you," Sasuke hissed into his neck as he gripped his arms tightly. Naruto's body went rigid, and utter hurt and rejection, even worse than Sasuke's cheating betrayal, ripped through Naruto at those words.
But his pain lessened almost immediately when he felt the way Sasuke's body shook against his and the wetness of what were unmistakably tears on Sasuke's face. It was then that he noticed how intimately Sasuke had his face pressed against Naruto's bared neck.
Naruto's mouth went dry, as a dry sob wracked through Sasuke.
"I hate you," Sasuke whispered again, but without conviction, even as his hands tightened their hold on Naruto. A different sort of pain washed through Naruto at the way Sasuke's utter sadness affected him.
"Sasuke," Naruto murmured and found that he too was crying. Moving slowly, Naruto turned, and Sasuke loosened his hold on him. When Naruto turned around to face Sasuke, Sasuke's eyes were set in defiance, as though daring Naruto to mention his emotions.
"I thought…I thought something had happened to you. I haven't seen you on campus, and it was raining heavily the night you stormed out. I heard about an accident where a man was driving so fast that he hit a tractor-trailer. They only found pieces of the man. I was so afraid to call your phone and not get a response…"
Naruto refused to feel guilty for making Sasuke worry. Sasuke had cheated on him after all.
"The night you found me – I was comforting my brother. His wife left him, and he needed me."
Confusion, relief, and regret overwhelmed Naruto.
"When we were little, whenever I had nightmares, I used to crawl in his bed, and he would stroke my hair and say it was okay, and remind me everything was okay because he loved me. When he came to me that night, I did the same thing. I love him – but he's my brother. Nothing as horrible as what you imagined."
"I-"
"But you ran! You fucking ran! You were supposed to be different from everyone else. You didn't listen to me. You just assumed I would cheat on you."
Naruto wanted to protest, but what Sasuke said was true.
"I didn't understand why you ran, but I was looking for you. Thankfully I met up with the girls from one of your classes and they told me you were still alive. They also told me – they told me you thought I was going out with Suigetsu. I never went out with him. He was mad at you because he'd been stalking me. While I'm grateful he stopped when he found us, I would never have broken up with someone like that. But instead of asking me about it, you believed him! You said you wanted to make me happy! You made me happy, but then you left! You didn't care that even if I was with someone else, I needed you! And when I thought you were dead – I haven't been that miserable since my parents died," Sasuke accused.
Over there stands my angry angel
And he's shaking his head, in disgrace with me
Yeah over there stands my angry angel
And he's frowning like hell, but I'm not feeling guilty.
I don't care. And I don't care...
"I thought you loved him. I thought – I just, you never said you loved me. I thought he was making you happier," Naruto confessed.
Sasuke looked at Naruto, as though by merely looking at him, as though by observing his body, Sasuke would be able to tell if Naruto spoke the truth.
"You've been avoiding me to make me happy?" Sasuke asked incredulously. Naruto nodded. Sasuke shook his head. "Idiot. You yelled at me when you left. And you've never said you loved me either."
With a jolt, Naruto realized it was true.
"Ah, well, I do."
Naruto watched the transformation of sadness to smugness cross over Sasuke's face, a corner of his lips tugging upward.
"You do what?" Sasuke asked, almost playfully. Blushing slightly, feeling so unmanly saying it in such a manner, Naruto relented.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
And even though he had wanted to make Sasuke happy, and even though he was glad that saying those words seemed to have made Sasuke truly happy, Naruto couldn't help but feel that perhaps Sasuke was the one meant to make him truly happy.
After all, Sasuke was his dark, and sometimes angry, angel.
Over there stands my angry angel
And he's shaking his head, in disgrace with me
Yeah over there stands my angry angel
And he's frowning like hell, but I'm not feeling guilty.
I'm not feeling guilty. I'm not feeling guilty...'cuz I don't care.
I don't care.
The End.
It took me a few hours to write this. It was all written on June 16th, which, ironically enough turned out to be eleven years to the date of when the song was released. I didn't know that until I looked up the song's details.
What did you think? ~ Jelp