Cabbage Thoughts
I took out the cabbages from the fridge, and laid them on the kitchen bench. Taking out the chopping board.
Why is he late again?
He'll tell me its work, that Kamijyou guy, blah blah blah..
..but it's probably not!
I go through the trouble of learning this recipe
(not that I don't want to, it's pretty fun, but he DOESN'T need to know that,ne?)
and cook every night for that bastard,
then he comes home late!
I start cutting the cabbages into even pieces, slicing carefully with a gourmet knife.
What's so wrong?
I'm only being helpful by putting something in his stomach!
He avoids me, ignores me
He doesn't understand a grain of how I feel!
I gather the cabbage slices and transfer then to the hot pan, taking out my ingredients and spices.
I borrowed books on love, relationships, even psychology!
So I'd know
and understand
How love works, and how I can be a better lover,
so he would stop seeing me as a kid!
I'm not a kid, I'm already freaking 18!
And I can love maturely like an adult!
I pour some sauce and add some spices (and some wine too, cooking wine) while I gradually stir the pan.
Who does he think he is?!
An old man grieving for a lost wife who had been gone for decades?!
Well with me, he won't be like that for much longer!
Can't he just let go? It's been so long...
I don't even think he sees the real me..
I turn off the flame, lifting the pan and leading the cabbage stir-fry onto a big plate.
I just wish, even just for a second, that he would,
look at everything through my eyes
Then he'd know
all I have given
and the emotions in my heart
So he would simply realize I'm here
I grab a pair of plates, cutlery and start setting the table.
So he would realize
How much of fate this is
How hard I worked
How much I care
What I feel
How much I want to stop his pain
and protect him from it forever
Just how much I love him, my Miyagi...
I hear a knock at the door. I knew who it was, there was no one else I knew who went to Miyagi's apartment past midnight. Except the bastard himself. I made my way to the lounge, slowly unlocked the knob, and opened the door. Lo and behold, there he was, in front of me, the bastard I loved. The literature-obssesed, chain-smoking worrywart bastard that I just can't help but love.
"Sorry I'm late, Shinobu-chin. I had to mark extra essays back at the university."
"Don't give me that and shut up. Your dinner's ready...
....
....
...welcome home, Miyagi."
Yeah, if you knew how I really feel, the real emotions I have beyond how much words can ever express...
Now, eat and make sure enjoy your cabbage stir-fry, old man.