Brokeback Mountain was a sad story of two men falling in love during a time and in a place that were adverse to it to say the least. The justified fear of consequences by Ennis led it to play out the way it did, and this is just a glimpse into an alternative path. Fact: After Ennis and Jack came off the mountain, they did not discuss anything about what they had done and made no firm plans of meeting again. Fact: Jack admitted to wanting to see Ennis again even though Ennis did not verbally reciprocate. Fact: Ennis was seen in an alley having a physical reaction to the seperation and what his relationship with Jack manifested within him.
Chapter 1: Rain
Ennis and Jack's trip exiting Brokeback Mountain carried out mostly in quiet. On their journey up, they had both felt confident in the security of knowing who they were, and ready to execute their task. Now, on the descent, both boys reflected on the fight they'd just had, both unsure of what was in the other's mind. Together, alone in nature, it had been so much easier to connect. As they approached the society of other people, the sobriety that came with the serious significance of their transgressions weighed upon them much too heavily for idle chit chat.
After they collected their pay from the disgusted Joe Aguirre, they found themselves staring at the road that was to take them back to their seperate lives. Jack knew that if he didn't say anything, they would likely part ways without words. "Might come back next year." Ennis merely knodded, and Jack said, "See you around?" Ennis replied, "Yeah, see ya round."
Jack started his truck and was headed down the road as Ennis began his walk. As Jack drove, he didn't get far before feelings of wanting more out of their goodbye took over and he looked in the rear view mirror. He saw Ennis and made a snapshot decision that involved an illegal U-turn.
The sky turned overcast, and Ennis left the campsite in search of Jack to warn him of the coming rain. Jack stood by the stream, originally to bathe, but now just to listen. Ennis stood frozen, unable to break the trance of the naked beauty beholden only to him.
Ennis froze midstep when he recognized the truck approaching him. When Jack stopped, he immediately got out and shut the door. They wordlessly walked up to each other and, before Ennis could question Jack, found his face in Jack's hands. Ennis flinched at being touched like that in public, and memories of being shown the corpse of a murdered homosexual with his father and brother came rushing back.
Taking a cautious step forward, Ennis still alerted Jack to his presence causing Jack to turn around. Upon seeing Ennis, he smiled softly. "Come here, Cowboy." Jack commanded, quietly. Ennis' heart continued to race.
Heart beating anxiously again, Ennis put his hands gently on the wrists of the hands on his face"Jack, what if someone-" "Shh, shh, shhh" was the only response he received cutting him off. Breaking the silence, Jack said, "I know you said it's a one shot thing. But I don't wanna go off and never see ya 'gain."
Ennis looked around and sighed, "I don't want that neither. But facts is facts, Jack. I'm gettin' married, and 'sides two men livin' together. No way." Jack pulled Ennis by the hand back toward his truck and said "Just come with me and talk."
When they were back on the road Ennis said, "So talk."
"We could move someplace else, have our own land and not be bothered by nobody. Jus' you 'n' me." Jack explained. Ennis didn't respond, in thought, and Jack didn't press his luck knowing that not receiving an instand "No" was a good thing.
Standing at the edge of the water with Jack in front of him, Ennis took hold of Jack's shoulders, and Jack had never felt so safe.
Jack pulled up along side a group of trees near the road with no buildings in sight. They got out and sat, Jack's back to a trunk with Ennis' back to Jack's chest, and they continued the conversation. Jack waited for Ennis to be the one to break the silence. "It's not that I don't want to, Jack." "Then let's-" Jack began, but Ennis cut him off. "Hold on, hold on. It's a real nice idea, but we aint got the money for that, and where we gonna go? I can't jus' haul off and leave Alma, and what would I tell my brother and sister?"
Jack thought for a minute and steeled himself "We could go live with my folks in Lightening Flat for a while, get some money saved up. As for Alma, tell her you don't wanna get married, if I'm what you want." "But I can't jus'" "You can jus', Friend." Jack said, head resting on Ennis' shoulder. Ennis had never felt so safe.
Jack put one hand on Ennis' face, thumb gently tracing a soft circle on his cheek "Fixin' to rain." Ennis said. "Growin' up on the plains, it was always so dry." Ennis hung on to every word, everything about the man in front of him was fascinating and new. "Whenever it rained, I would always run in it." Ennis smiled, picturing it.
"Jack. We jus' can't. It ain't right." Ennis said, sounding as deflated as he felt.
"Yes we can, Ennis. Ain't nobody else for me but you."
Ennis said nothing, but they had gotten to where Jack was familiar enough that he could read the silence for what it was. By saying nothing, Ennis was wordlessly feeling the same thing.
"This is right for me." Jack said softly. Ennis closed his eyes and soaked in the feeling of Jack's arms circling him. Feeling treasured and protected, he believed Jack's truth.
"I'm scared Jack." There it was. Ennis' forbidden vulnerability that he was only comfortable gifting this man with its sight.
"I am too. But you know what? I'm scared a losin' you more."
Ennis said, "You ain't scared a nothin, huh Rodeo?" Jack moved his face to where his nose touched Ennis'. Eyes closed, he confessed "You scare me." "I scare ya?" Ennis asked, not understanding. "Scared a the hold you got on me."
"I want you too." Ennis said, loving the feeling of Jacks lips against his neck.
"It could be a real sweet thing." Jack whispered. A car rushing past them, causing their eyes to open, reminding them of the world around them.
"I'll do it." Ennis gulped, a pit forming in his stomach at what commitment to this unseen path meant for the road ahead.
Jack, for once the one without words, rose up and tilted Ennis' head back.
Their kisses prior to this had been unpracticed and clumsy with needy rush. This kiss came with slow languish in the security of what they were to the other. They each knew without saying it that, the other person across from them was the one that could stop time and erase reason. Jack's and Ennis' kissing lips gently communicated together the depth of what they could not yet or perhaps ever have ability to say, as the raindrops came crashing down as waves crash against solid immovable rock.
Jack craned his head over Ennis' and they kissed, and as more traffic drove by, some drivers viewing, knowing the easier the waves were to withstand.
The kiss broken, Ennis said, "Let's go." They walked in no rush back to the camp, in no rush as the rain continued to pour down on the earth around them.
After they stopped the connection, Jack said, "Let's go." As they walked back to the road, not knowing what exactly was in front of their futures now intertwined, they were sure that no matter what happened next they would not be looking back.