Nobody's Home
Summary: Woo, first SONGFIC! Slightly angsty, much different than what I'm used to writing. The life of Jill Tuck-Kramer was a sad one. This fic is pre-Saw; Jill's thoughts about the miscarriage of Gideon and the events leading to her divorce from John. Since I'm Team Jill for life, (At least she went out in an epic way; suck it Hoffman!) I got inspired. I own nothing. I repeat. NOTHING. Lyrics: Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne.
Well, I couldn't tell you, why she felt that way. She felt it every day. And I couldn't help her, I just watched her make the same mistakes again. What's wrong, what's wrong now? Too many, too many problems. Don't know where she belongs; where she belongs.
Jill sat curled up on the couch staring at the rain outside her window. It had been three months since she was released from the hospital. Her physical scars were fading, but she was a shell of herself. For a woman who wanted to be in control, she had none. Everything she knew about her life was slipping from her grasp. She wondered when it had truly gone wrong; her life was slipping away from her since the incident. She did a fantastic job of holding herself together on the outside. Her performance was Oscar-worthy.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.That's where she lies, broken inside. With no place to go, no place to go. To dry her eyes; broken inside.
John grew more distant than ever following the incident. He spent hours upon hours in the warehouse. She dared not guess what he was doing. One afternoon, about a month after the incident, she went over there to question him, but he warned her never to return. He had never spoken to her so harshly before; it was like he was a completely different person. He had been sick for a while, and at her urging, he finally went to see a doctor.
Open your eyes, and look outside. Find the reasons why. You've been rejected, and now you can't find, what you've left behind. Be strong, be strong now, too many, too many problems.Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
Cancer. Inoperable brain tumor. Would only get worse. Jill only picked up fragments of the doctor's words. She was completely in shock when the doctor returned with John's test results. Her life was supposed to be perfect; she dreamed of it since she was a little girl. Why did all of this happen to her? Why was she chosen to suffer?
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.That's where she lies, broken inside. With no place to go, no place to go. To dry her eyes, broken inside.
She married a man who loved her; they were going to have the perfect family. It pained her to think about that night; everything was hazy. A man, someone she tried to help, took away her perfect life in an instant. She hadn't seen Cecil since the incident; she hoped she never would see him again. She had considered herself a forgiving person; as her life went on, she found this to be inaccurate. She loved passionately but she could fight passionately too.
Her feelings she hides; her dreams she can't find. She's losing her mind; she's falling behind. She can't find her place; she's losing her faith. She's falling from grace; she's all over the place.
She was hollow and empty. Her life had no warmth anymore. She would wrap herself in blankets at night and sob. Her husband offered her no comfort, and she didn't know how long he had left. She knew he loved her, but she needed to free herself from this cycle. She loved him too, but she had to do something for herself.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home. That's where she lies, broken inside. With no place to go, no place to go. To dry her eyes, broken inside.
She heard a key click in the doorway. She rose from the couch, and met John as he walked in the door. Her eyes were cold, and she got little response from his.
"John, I can't do this anymore. I'm done."
She's lost inside, lost inside. Oh oh…She's lost inside, lost inside. Oh oh…oh.