"Stay With Me."
I can never leave you when you're lying in the bed
face to the wall
I slept on the floor
What did you mean by that
What did you mean by that
Take it as a self invitation
Take it as your own means of salvation
If I could take it all
If I could take it all back
Nothing is forgiven unless you want it to be
And if it's too late for deciding
Oh just leave it to me
Stay with me
Stay with me
Stay with me
Stay with me
Stay with me please
Cause I'm living, living
Living in the darkness
I could never beat it when you needed me the most
The more I try the less you try to come
How could I live like that
How could I live like that
Take it as a self indication
Take it as your own means of vindication
If I could take it all
If I could take it all back
Nothing is forgiven unless you want it to be
And if it's too late for deciding
Oh just leave it to me
Stay with me
Stay with me
Stay with me
Stay with me
Stay with me please
Cause I'm living, living
Living in the darkness
Ugly.
Disgusting.
Worthless, Used, and tainted, these along with other derogatory words Aomine felt described him best.
Because who would want someone who was used and abused. He was a sinner. His soul tainted and scarred from the trials he has endured in life.
He tried to put it all behind him and he had. Whenever things turned shitty in his home from his parents fighting and the times his uncle would "watch" over him Aomine would always resort to the only thing that would help give him some ease of mind. A tiny grain of peace in his hectic life.
Basketball.
The adrenaline his body felt coursing through the veins in his body was nothing but pure bliss.
It was a connection. Adoration was what he held for the game. Insurmountable respect for the older, wiser, better players than him…
Whenever he was on the cracked concrete ground in the court by his house challenging someone older- his mind would find peace and drift away.
It was through basketball and talking with Satsuki that he got the courage to stand up for himself and tell his parents about what his uncle would do to him- to a little boy of only 8-9 years old.
Needless to say his parents had the bastard arrested and locked away.
They all went to therapy and things turned around in his life after that.
But the damage was already there.
The lingering scabby scars that after so many years of trying to move on still remained present.
Nightmares still plagued his dreams and unconsciousness begging him to relive his misery.
So Aomine focused more and more in basketball. He let all of his frustrations out through his play.
Because he loved the sport…
Because it helped him…
Because he wanted to forget…
But there was a point where not even Basketball helped.
The one thing that he could have possibly loved more than anything in this world betrayed him.
Games became boring. He became too powerful; no one dared to challenge him. The peace of mind he would receive every time he played was replaced with dread and hatred.
The nightmares returned at full force; the self-hatred became unbearable. It was like experiencing death yet still having to be alive physically and go on through the world.
People's happiness haunted him. The present smiles in his friends, Satsuki and family felt like taunts.
Depression consumed him from the inside out.
He was worthless. Used. Tainted.
He wanted, needed to find someone who could play with him on par. To feel the adrenaline and peace he used to feel back then.
Someone who helped chased the demons away at night.
But how could he? Someone so undeserving of any happiness ask of that? It was clear that the gods took charge of that.
And He accepted his fate.
He began to try to seal his darkness away with other means- sex whenever and with whichever girl he could get his hands on.
He was hollow.
But he guessed this was the way he was supposed to be.
He lost of all of his friends from his old school team. Each troubled by their personal demons.
He lost one of the only people he thought to have liked more than a friend.
Tetsu…
He had been a good friend but someone of his caliber didn't deserve to be around him. He knew… just knew in his own selfishness and self-glory that he would end up breaking him just to feel like he deserved to have him.
And Aomine while an asshole a majority of the time wasn't a sadist nor heartless.
There was no one in this world that he felt he deserved.
No one to help him…
Not even his family…
But that was until he met him.
Red hair so vibrant, eyes so captivating he thought he was dreaming.
He could still remember the way he felt so alive when he played Kagami.
How he lost.
The way his smile was so wide as he celebrated his win.
He was so bright, like the sun. Aomine had momentarily felt himself begin to be filled with sadness at the thought that the way he had felt while playing with Kagami would never be something he would experience once again.
One, because he obviously made the guy go through hell when he beat him and Tetsu without mercy; Two, because, well, did he deserve such a thing?
But then the Red head did the unexpected.
"Why are you acting like its all over? Things are just getting started. Lets play again, I'll take you on."
Shocked. That was what Aomine felt at that moment.
He mentally rolled his eyes and ignored the way his heart raced inside his ribcage. He only smiled and brushed the idiot off.
In a way made up with Tetsu.
Regained a long lost friend and friendship he deemed irretrievable.
But what would keep him up at night were those words. The mere fact that Kagami let him know he was available.
That despite himself knowing he didn't deserve such a thing… he had the choice…
Yes, a choice.
He was allowed to pick… to have someone… the person who saved him and ignited his love for basketball.
That night and the ones after he was able to sleep at night… The fact that he was able to concentrate on basketball again and the need within him to be better and not loose next time to Kagami helped him scare his demons away.
And Aomine was content with that fact.
Till one day he bumped into the red head in maji burger.
"Ugh!" Aomine grunted as he held his head with both his hands. "Oi! Idiot! Watch where you going!"
But then the voice that he heard next made him flinch.
"Who are you calling an idiot?" Kagami yelled back as he had a hand on the back of his head. Speaking as he turned around to face the culprit for his momentary headache. "Maybe you should examine your eyes before you go bump-"
He lost his voice as his eyes caught the different shades of midnight blue hair.
"AHOMINE!" He yelled next just as immediately. Kagami proceeded to point a finger at the other male. "I knew that annoying tone of voice was familiar!"
Aomine rolled his eyes as he let out a soft. 'Tch.'
"Do you always have to be so loud and obnoxious?" He asked calmly enjoying the twitching split eyebrow that the other red head sported.
He grinned as the other opened his mouth to retort only to sigh and roll his eyes.
"You know what? Forget it." He waved Aomine away with his hand. "I'm too hungry to deal with your asshole ways at the moment."
Aomine pursed his lips as the other male turned back around in the line. Aomine glared at the people that he realized just know were starring at them both.
Midnight blue eyes soon turned to roam over the red heads back.
He wouldn't admit it… He really wouldn't. At least… not out loud but he enjoyed the fact that Kagami had such a broad chest and upper body. Aomine was positive the other male was more muscular than he was. He had caught a glimpse of his arms while playing him and Aomine could tell right now, at this moment, from seeing the others tight fitting t-shirt that the red head has build more muscles in the last couple of months after the winter cup.
He flinched slightly when the smooth voice of the other filled the air around them once again.
"So, what are you doing here by the way, Aomine?"
Even though the other wasn't really looking at him, Aomine could feel the stare.
He masked the weird things he felt coursing through him at the moment with irritation. He let out a scowl as he said – "What do ya care, Bakagami?"
"I don't know." The red head said as he turned his head slightly to the side while shrugging. "I figured maybe we could play a one-on-one."
He didn't know why but he felt somewhat happy.
He was able to pick himself up and go out today without the constant nagging of Satsuki in his ear.
He bumped into his rival.
And now…
Now he might get to play a one-on-one. Was he really allowed to be happy at his coincidence?
Not that that stupid red head made him happy, because he didn't, he was just happy at the simple prospect of a good basketball game with a worthy opponent. This made his insides excited and hands itch with the need to play.
He knew his answer before his mind processed it.
"Sure…"
Kagami smiled bright, excitement pouring out from him as he looked at Aomine.
"Bakagami…" Aomine muttered right after wiping the red heads grin off.
"Tch, asshole."
One game became two.
Two became four.
Four became ten until Aomine wasn't sure when he wasn't spending time with the red head idiot playing hours upon hours in an intense game of basketball.
It wasn't long before the nightmares stopped all together, nothing but faint memories of his dark past.
Worthless…
Used…
And tainted…
Echoes of his pain could still be heard in the recesses of his mind.
They weren't as painful but now more of a reminder.
His sins could never be purged just temporarily faded.
"OI IDIOT! LOOK OUT!"
But before he could react a warm body was covering his own. Heat so welcoming he found himself gripping back just as hard as the shock he momentarily felt faded away.
Kagami looked up and cursed at the yellow taxi driving away in hazardous ways basically almost running over someone.
He scowled as he got up and proceeded to look at the blue head.
"Do you even pay attention or is that head as empty as I think it is?"
But Aomine couldn't answer.
His mind to preoccupied with the way that sudden warmness left him.
He hadn't seen that taxi, he really didn't. His mind was too lost as it filled his head with reminders of what he was.
He got lost as he fought a mental battle with his thoughts while Kagami ranted away about this movie that he watched yesterday with his brother Tatsuya.
"Shit… I could have died." He said rather bluntly as he looked into blood red irises.
"Yeah, you could have. Idiot." Kagami grinned as he helped the other stand up.
Aomine suddenly remembered how the other had basically called him an airhead.
He proceeded to punch the other on his bicep.
"OW, what the hell?"
"And I'm not a fucking airhead. I have better grades than you!"
"Pfft, whatever." Kagami said as he laughed. "Rather late for that reaction don't ya think?"
Aomine couldn't help the small smile as he muttered out a 'whatever.' Before punching the red head once more in the same place.
He knew what he was and knew what he deserved but despite it all he was still happy.
At least with Kagami…
At least with him… and only him…
One to many beers had him laughing with Kagami as they both tripped on the sand near the ocean shore.
The cold feeling of the wet sand made him sigh in content as he finally cooled down somewhere from the heat of the day and bonfire they were having with friends.
He could, in his foggy state of mind, hear the other's laughing and talking.
He never tried alcohol before… well, maybe some Japanese beer but the stuff that Kagami brought from his home back in L.A after visiting his father for three months was pretty strong.
Especially the way he had mixed them.
And He would admit it tasted amazing and hit the spot.
Aomine enjoyed the way the other was so close to him, almost sharing each other's heat while the red head laughed at how Tetsu "accidently" spilled his drink on Kise.
Whines of 'Kurokocchi why?' and Kasamatsu yelling 'You deserved it you idiot!' could be heard among the laughter.
But only one thought was present in Aomine's mind at the moment.
He had missed him.
"I missed you."
It slipped…
The same moment he thought it, his mouth just let the words out at the same time.
Kagami's laughter died down immediately after that, Aomine tried his hardest not to bit his lip and curse.
Blue connected with red and all that Aomine needed right after that to chase the trepidation away was the soft smile gracing Kagami's lips.
"Me too, Aho."
Happiness…
He didn't know if that was such a far-fetched idea anymore.
At least not with him…
It happened one night he was staying over Kagami's house.
The silence and comfort of them both laying down in Kagami's bed as the other watched a basketball rerun of a bulls game while Aomine played a game on his phone was something that made Aomine feel at home more than anywhere else.
He could trust Kagami.
Maybe he couldn't be happy, Maybe no one would love him since he is used but …
But maybe Kagami would still accept him…
"Kagami can I tell you something?"
He mentally cursed at himself for how small his voice sounded as he asked that question.
The red head looked over at the blue haired male immediately noticing something was wrong.
Aomine sounded broken.
Scared…
Words he wasn't used to associating with the ace of the generation of miracles.
"Sure." He immediately said as he grabbed the remote next to him by his left leg. Making sure to lower the volume to hear Aomine.
He could just sense the other had something important to say.
He just felt it in his being that the other needed his undivided attention.
"I…" the other started.
Midnight blue eyes focused on the wall.
Aomine began to second-guess himself.
What if he told him and Kagami hated him? What if he really didn't deserve any kind of happiness? Not even a friend?
But before he would regret his actions he just spit the words out that burned his soul and throat from how acid they were.
"I'm worthless." He said and Kagami's breath hitched as he could feel his soul literally rip in two.
Worthless…
Tainted and used…
"Wh-at? What ar-e you sayin-"
"I was 'touched' by my uncle." Aomine softly blurted out. His hands were clutching onto dear life to the soft white sheets. In some way they served as some form of help to help him continue. "I'm used, he… he…"
He couldn't breathe…
He never really talked about this with anyone.
He didn't tell Satsuki the whole thing and he told his parents the simpler version.
The word rape never left his lips before this moment even though everyone in his home knew.
"He raped me." He said with a tone of finality. "He did… He did unspeakable things to me when I was kid."
"Ao-"
Aomine turned to look at the red head- his eyes going wide as he saw unshed tears in the others eyes.
Pity…
His mind screamed in regret.
The least he wanted from the other was pity.
He hated him… pitied him…
Aomine for the first time in years felt a single tear slide down his cheek before another slipped from the other eye.
Heat…
That was all that his mind could register.
Second was, the hot muffled breath in his neck and soft red hair brushing against his cheek.
"Jesus fucking Christ, that bastard!"
Third was, the understanding voice that filled his ears.
Aomine bit his lips so hard that he could soon taste the bloody copper in his mouth. His eyes screwed shut as tears silently fell against his will down his cheeks.
"You are not used nor worthless…" Kagami said. "It wasn't your fault, never was your fault."
Fourth was, the way he was sure he was probably suffocating the other as he hugged him as tight as he could. His hands clutching onto the navy t-shirt the other had on.
"I swear to god if you ever tell me who he is, I'll kill him!"
Fifth was, the way that he knew in that moment… he was in love with his only rival…
These five things were what registered through his mind in the silence of Kagami's room as the other provided him the warmth and comfort he never knew he needed.
Happiness was… okay…
Yes, it was… if it was with him…
And only him…
A kiss…
Something so simple but yet enough to make his insides implode with feelings he never knew he was capable of feeling.
Aomine stared at the red head in front of him, he was mesmerized with the way pink dusted the others cheeks as a simple confession slipped from his pale, pink lips.
"So yeah… I like you, Aho."
Aomine Daiki has kissed many girls, had his first kissed stolen from him by force at a young age.
None of the girls whom he had once messed with faltered in the passionate department. They all were filled with emotion and probably love towards him.
But this simple peck was the only thing that ever felt so real.
That ever felt so great and complete.
He grinned. "Me too, Bakagami."
"Ngn… there…" Aomine whimpered out before putting a hand on his mouth as he eyes squinted.
It slipped.
And He would never admit it but Kagami was perfect in every single way. Especially, in all of his naked glory…
A warm and calloused hand was caressing the inside and outside of his thighs. The other hand blocked by his privates as three fingers were rubbing with perfect precision over his sweet spot.
Pleasure he never knew he was able to feel was burning through his very veins.
Blood red eyes were so focused and unmoving as they watched his every move.
He could feel his dick twitching in arousal as he almost came undone by those eyes that withheld so much emotion and lust.
Kagami felt this way for him…
"Kaga… Oh god…" He moaned out next, unable to hold in the sounds no matter how much he bit the inside of his cheeks, tongue or lip.
"You're so beautiful…"
Aomine clutched the soft navy blue sheets as he felt the fingers leave his ass. Kagami straightened up on his knees as he went for the condom and lube but before he could reach his destination a dark hand grabbed his.
"Skip the condom…" He heard Aomine say. And while he rolled his eyes closed and his dick twitched violently at the prospect of taking Aomine bare he wanted the other to be sure.
He needed him to be sure.
He mouth felt drier than a hot summer day in the California dessert as his looked into half-lidded blue eyes.
"You sure?"
"Yes. I'm more than sure."
Kagami didn't know when Aomine had grabbed the lube but he could only groan when he felt deft fingers rubbing the lube on his cock as a pair of lips kissed his own with fervent passion.
Aomine felt consumed.
A fire within him that only kept escalating, reaching higher and higher.
Kagami broke the kiss and he pushed Aomine down swiftly. His hands caressing the darker thighs as they slowly raised them in the air before settling his hands on the others hips while calf's rested on his shoulders.
"You're so beautiful."
Aomine scowled before barking out "Will you stop that already?"
"No." came the reply. "I won't stop until you believe it yourself."
Words weren't needed after that… Not that Kagami let Aomine respond as he leaned down and kissed the other silly as he slowly guided his needy member into the warm, tight, and inviting entrance.
Aomine groaned as his hands found Kagami's back immediately, nails digging into the soft skin.
Kagami broke their muffled kissed filled with groans and moans.
The tip of his nose caressing Aomine's cheek as he groaned out "Fuck, you're so tight… shit."
"Just move already!" Aomine said next as he bit lip as he ran his nails down Kagami's back. Enjoying the way the other's muscles rippled under his touch.
Aomine shivered as he felt Kagami twitching inside of him while the head of his cock rubbed against his prostrate- teasingly.
Their rhythm started out slow before caution was thrown out the window and Kagami began to pound into Aomine.
Kagami was more than positive he would hear his neighbors complain the next day since they were being pretty loud.
The bed sounding as if it was about to break the wall with the way it was colliding against it.
Aomine's back arched so beautiful and deliciously as one hand clutched the headboard while the other was clutching the sheets.
His mouth opened wide as moans and whimpers of Kagami's name left it.
"Don't stop! Theretheretheretherethere! Taiga! OH!"
Kagami bit the inside of his cheek trying his hardest to not come from the orgasmic sight in front of him.
Aomine trusted him…
Aomine was his and this view right here he would make sure no one would witness.
"Look at me, Daiki."
Dark navy eyes flew open as not even a second later they were trained on Kagami and his movements before connecting with his eyes.
Aomine couldn't take it…
He knew what Kagami wanted to convey in that moment as they looked at each other.
It was like his soul was being torn apart and being probed. Like he was truly naked.
He knew what Kagami was telling him without words.
Daiki reached up pulling the red head down with him as he crashed their lips together.
Everything was so intense… too much…
One of his hands was buried in red tresses as the other raked down the expanse of the red heads back as Aomine shouted Kagami's name.
His vision going blurry with his tears as blinding white-hot pleasure took over his body. His limbs trembling as he felt his seed hit his and Kagami's abdomen and chest.
Kagami growling out Aomine's name as he bit down on the darker males shoulder enough to break the skin.
But it all felt good, so good and so right.
Aomine realized he was never worthless, used or tainted.
He had been dealt with some shitty cards but he was the opposite.
He was human and a survivor and he had Kagami to thank for that.
He could feel happiness and it was okay… will always be okay because no longer do the demons visit his dreams nor do his memories haunt his present.
Everything was okay and it was better with Kagami by his side.
It has been a while I know /: but i hope this makes up for it. more pdates will be on the way.