A/N: Seeker for the Appleby Arrows, forbidden word: surprise

There's actually a story that goes along with this fic. I was scrolling though my Docs and cleaning it out until I found this little tidbit of a scene that I had written about Rose and Scorp and I saw an opportunity to get two birds with one stone. And I have no idea how, but this all turned very meta and perhaps a bit crack-ish. Anyways, onward I suppose. enjoy.


"Hey," a girl took the seat next to Scorpius, slapping her book down in the seat cross from her.

Scorpius Malfoy usually didn't mind pretty girls (not that he would ever call Rose Weasley pretty) taking up his space but when he turned to face Rose Weasley he kept his voice aloof and impassive. "Potter's seat, Weasley."

Rose crinkled her nose. "Really, that's all?" She asked. "Not even going to ask about my day?"

She tilted back to rest her head on the train car headrest, and let her rusty curls hand loose over it. Scorpius counted to ten silently, wishing the redhead away. Recently Scorpius found himself wishing away most Weasleys that he came across.

At first, the Weasel Swarm came on to him slowly. It started with Albus, who Scorpius welcomed eagerly as any lonely first year would. Then he met the studious Rose, an that was all fine until she started considering him a friend because of some misplaced idea that everything that was Albus' was also her own. Some how, little by little, following Albus' example, the rest of the Wotters started saying hi. The odd 'hello' here and there were also fine, but then they started talking to him.

James Potter took him aside one morning and "as a friend" advised him with severe consequence to stay away from his cousins, or more particularly, his sister - as Lily Potter had been saying 'hello' a lot to him. Scorpius did his best to avoid her because agreeing with James seemed easier than resisting. A month later his efforts bore fruit and James took him by the arm in the same manner before he went out for Quidditch practice and called him a 'mate'. Scorpius' life was coming up wotter from that point on. He had even been roped into secretly tutoring Lucy Weasley in Arithmancy.

Not for the first time, Scorpius wished for a new best mate. But everyone had a burden to bear and unfortunately Albus' was his family.

Perhaps that was why Albus and Scorpius clicked during that first meeting.

Weird name? Check.

Weirder family? Double check.

But back into the present - there was the issue of Rose Weasley.

Scorpius sighed and turned to face the girl who was trying to keep a straight face as she pretended to nap. Every second or so, she would crack open her eyes to check if he was looking. When she saw that he wasn't going to do anything besides sigh, whine internally, and grunt, she let out a large yawn and feigned her gross snoring.

Seeing his unimpressed face and grimace, she broke character and burst our into raucous laughter. Even if she was (just maybe) a little pretty, her laugh certainly wasn't.

Once again, he sighed and swallowed the words that bubbled up in his throat about how awkward it was that only she was laughing and he wasn't. Though he didn't say any of that because Albus had recently brought the topic of tact to Scorpius' attention. Scorpius liked the idea of being mature (or about as mature as a fourth year could be) so he bit his tough before he trusting himself to say something semi-decent. "That's Albus' seat. He'll be here soon so..." Scorpius trailed off, and imagined Rose heeding his words, recognizing her intrusion, and taking her awkward self and loud laugh out of his near vicinity (preferably with a bout of apologies).

Though instead, she leaned her elbow in his shoulder and waved her other arm before them as if showing him some fanciful prophecy. "See Scorpy," she drawled, and although Scorpius didn't recognize the drag in her voice, onlookers would have been able to easy tell that it was a very obvious, albeit very bad, impression of Scorpius. "Albus isn't comming, and he told me to keep boring old you company."

Scorpius gave her a skeptic look and Rose opened her mouth to respond but before she could, Albus entered the train car with his rope half torn off and a large smear of rouge on his sleeve.

"Oh no," Rose cried, eyes widening, her elbow slipping off Scorpius' shoulder, narrowly missing a fall to the floor as she scrambled up and away, taking the seat across from Scorpius, who could barely comprehend the implications of such a state.

Scorpius didn't understand at first but when he did, his reaction was just as dramatic, if not worse. "They can't be here, can they?"

Albus could only nod before thousands of hands threw open and reached through the carriage door, feeling around blindly for Albus, who jumped up, completely shocked (and most likely traumatized), away from the hands. The arms reached in and grasped at air, fighting each other as they vied for the same goal.

"But - but," Scorpius wondered, swatting away the longer arms. "Aren't they still muggles?"

Rose shrugged, and whacked away some offenders with her obscenely large book. "I don't know, but they're fangirls."

What Scorpius would decide that day would define the rest of his life. Amending his earlier statement; there's nothing worse then Weasleys... beside fangirls.


A/N: This was intended to be a more serious fic but my eleven year old self stepped in and this is them apples. :) -Rrit