God that episode was so sad, please read and review :)
I'm done :)
"Would you have really taken a bullet for me? I just want to hear you say it..."
"Steven!"
"Just say it?!"
"Yes"
"Why?"
Why? Does he really have to ask why? He must still doubt my feelings for him even after everything that I have done. Doesn't he get that I do it all because I love him, because I want to tie myself to him in any way that I can. I interfere with his life purely because I have to be a part of it, because my life without Steven Hay would be no life at all. The thing is though, it isn't that simple anymore and I have to think about what is best for him.
Walker isn't going to stop attacking me and the ones I care most about and I think he has cottoned on to the fact that Steven is my Achilles heel. I have no doubt in my mind that he will go after him again and especially if I show him that I care about him. Sometimes love just isn't enough to make everything okay and this is one of them times. If I have him in my life now, I'm risking his and I won't do that, even if it means me letting go. I will do whatever it takes to keep him safe.
I have tried so hard to get him back, it has been all I have wanted for the longest time, but everything has changed now. Walker has made sure of that. We can't be together that way, we can't even be friends, he can only be my past now, it's the only way. He doesn't need me anyway, he has Douglas. He has his friends and a family that loves him, why would he need me? I'm just a poor excuse for a man and everything I touch turns to shit. The further away I am from him now the better.
See as much as I don't want us to be over and as much as I want to keep him with me always, I can't. Some things are better left alone, we tried we really did, but we didn't work before so why would we now? I used to think that the most painful thing I ever witnessed was seeing him kissing that American dickhead Douglas, but seeing Walker point a gun at him was the worst thing of all; I thought my heart was going to stop beating. All I wanted to do was protect him, but that just didn't happen.
I see him and only him, no matter where I am or what I'm doing and nothing will ever change that. I see him now stood outside his flat in front of me; I wonder why he followed me and why he wanted to know if I'd really take a bullet for him, I mean what difference does it make now?
"Why?"
He wants to know why so I tell him.
Same reason I told Doug to take the money for your business, same reason I signed that same business over to you and you alone, same reason I bought that god damn flat off that property developer before he knocked the whole place down, I've been taking bullets for you for months. I'm not going to meddle in your life no more. I'll even put the flat up for sale if you want, if you want it you can have it, I'm done.
I'm done.
Please review :) xxxxx