"It wasn't your fault, Steve." Bucky said slowly.
Steve stood frozen just outside of the hospital room. From the window he could see Stark, bruised and beaten down worse than he had ever seen him. Bruce, Clint, and Natasha were in the room with him, hovering a bit too close to the bed and intimidating the doctors and nurses that constantly came in and out of the room.
Stark looked far smaller than he had ever been in all the years they had been a team. Of course, he had always been a small man, taller than Natasha but just a touch shorter than Clint and Bruce. This was different though. This was the loud and confidant man lying deathly still in a hospital bed and seemed like such a fragile and delicate thing that had been broken and beaten and damn close to death because Steve made the wrong call.
"You know that's not true." He said slowly.
Bucky wrapped his arm around his waist and pulled Steve close, turning him so that he was no longer looking into Stark's hospital room. "Shut up, Stevie. You didn't know it was going to do that. It was a mistake. No one blames you."
Steve buried his head into Bucky's shoulder. He loved this man, trusted him with everything, but at this moment he was wrong. It was his fault, he completely believed it was. He had misjudged the situation, he hadn't considered the possibilities, and didn't think twice before ordering Iron Man into what should have been an obvious trap.
He was just thinking about the safety of what he thought were civilians in a building that Doom had set to blow. He thought they had more time before the bomb went off, the timer told them they had more time. The rest of the team was trying to stop the doombots from attacking the rest of the city, there was no chance they could save the one building that they had planted bombs on.
Iron Man's scanners had said there were no heat signatures, the building was empty and it would be fine. Stark said he would pay to have it rebuilt so it was an expendable structure. But Steve had heard it, voices calling for help from the building, and ordered Stark in there to find whoever it was. Steve didn't know it was a trap, he didn't know the doombots had recorded human voices to lure them inside. He definitely didn't know the timer on the bombs outside of the building was wrong. It was a trap, he had fallen for it, the building collapsed, and now Stark was lying unconscious in the ICU.
"He's going to pull through." Bucky whispered to him. "That man can survive on pure stubbornness. Now let's go in there and you're going to take charge like you have to."
Steve nodded against his shoulder. He loved Bucky so much, would forever be thankful for having him back. He always knew what had to be done, what would be best for everyone's wellbeing. Steve may have been the team leader, but since Bucky had come to the tower a year before he had quickly become everyone's caretaker, making sure they all felt physically and mentally well.
They walked into the room quickly, Steve held onto Bucky's metal hand as if it were a life preserver. No one looked up as they entered and no one even acknowledged Steve. They were all too focused on Stark as he lay motionless in the bed in front of them. He looked even worse up close. The deep purple bruises dotted almost all visible skin and he could now make out all the little cuts and scrapes that covered Tony's body. A large tube was sticking out of his mouth, a machine breathing for him.
"What's his status?" Steve asked firmly, keeping his voice as steady as possible.
"Lucky to be alive." Clint muttered.
Bruce shook his head and gave Steve and Bucky a quick glance. "He has a severe concussion, three broken ribs, he fractured his left radius, and has some slight damage to his spine."
Steve closed his eyes. This was terrible and it was all his fault. He didn't want to look at anyone, didn't want to see the judgement in their faces or the damage he had done to his friend and teammate, but he forced his eyes back open and looked at Stark closely.
"Damage to his spine?" Steve asked quickly. He wasn't a medical professional but his mother was a nurse and they covered the basics in the army. Spine injuries were serious.
"The doctors have been running tests since he's arrived. There is a small amount of trauma induced damage to his neck area. More precisely, C7 and T1." Bruce said slowly. "They won't be able to give him neurological tests until he wakes up to see if there is complete or incomplete damage, but they have hopes he won't be entirely paralyzed."
Steve held in a sigh of relief. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he had made the call that paralyzed Iron Man. But Bruce didn't sound happy, he sounded distressed and concerned. Natasha and Clint looked downright devastated.
"What is likely to happen?" He asked. He really didn't want to know, but he was still the leader of this team. Steve needed to know what happened to someone under his command out in the field.
Bruce took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Nerve damage to the C7 and T1 can lead to a loss of dexterity in the hands and fingers and give him limited use of his arms. Like I said, we won't know how severe it is until he wakes up and does neurological tests."
"When do the doctors expect him to wake up?" Steve said. He was proud of the stern quality his voice had taken on, he needed to at least seem like he had control of the situation.
Clint shook his head and Natasha sighed. That wasn't a good sign. Those two were usually so careful about hiding most serious emotions but Steve could see the fear and sadness barely visible on their faces.
"They don't know." Natasha said. "He's suffered from a serious head injury. He's in a coma."
Steve's legs felt shaky. He couldn't keep himself standing for much longer. Bucky wrapped an arm around him and held his weight. No one was looking at him. He did this, this was his fault. He had endangered the team and now Stark was probably seriously, possibly even permanently injured.
Steve had never made such a horrible call before. He had put Stark into this hospital, he had sent him straight into a building he knew was rigged to explode just to save civilians that didn't even exist. He should have trusted Stark when he said the thermal scans came back negative for lifeforms.
There was no turning back time, no fixing the past. He leaned away from Bucky, letting him keep a firm hand on his back until he was sure he was steady.
"You guys go get washed up." Steve said. He walked around all of them and deposited himself in one of the few chairs in the room. It was one of the uncomfortable plastic ones that he was surprised held his weight. "I'll stay with Stark."
"I'd rather stay." Clint said, crossing his arms.
Steve shook his head. "No. I did this, I'll sit with him." He said. "You guys did a good job out there. You need to rest."
"Fury will want to debrief." Natasha said.
"Then he'll know where to find me." Steve said firmly. "You all go shower and rest. That's an order."
Clint's frown deepened. He looked like he was about to argue, but Natasha laid a gentle hand on his arm and shook her head.
"Aye aye Captain." He muttered before rushing through the door. Natasha followed quickly behind him.
Bruce gave one last look at Tony. "You'll call me immediately if anything changes?"
Steve nodded. He should have expected resistance. The whole team cared about Tony. This man was loud, obnoxious, annoying, generous, and kind. If they ever needed anything Tony would get it for them without blinking an eye. He offered them his home, his skills, his time, and everything else he had to offer. No one liked to admit it but the whole team cared about him. Steve wasn't that close to him. They didn't get along that much and although he was thankful for everything Stark had given him, they tended to spend most of their time away from each other. He still considered him a friend though, a valuable teammate. Everyone else on the team interacted with him a lot more, they were closer. If Steve had gotten him killed he didn't know if they would respect any future orders he would give. His leadership would be in question, probably rightfully so.
"It's not your fault, Steve." Bucky said again. Steve shook his head, too tired to continue this argument. "They don't blame you. They're just stressed and worried."
Bucky walked up to him quickly, leaning down to gently kiss his lips. It wasn't passionate or overwhelming like all their other kisses, it was soft and reassuring.
"Would you like me to relay your orders to Thor?" Bucky asked as he pulled away.
"Yeah." Steve said. "Tell him to head back to the tower and get some rest if he's done scanning the perimeter of the hospital. I keep telling him it's safe but he doesn't listen."
Bucky nodded. "From what I've heard, his experience with Earth hospitals isn't ideal. He just wants Tony to be safe."
"We all do." Steve said. "Take care of the team, I'm going to stay with Stark."
"Don't forget to rest yourself." Bucky said slowly as he walked towards the door.
Steve nodded once and then turned his attention back to Stark. The man looked half dead. It was a terrifying look for him. If he died Steve didn't doubt there wouldn't be a team anymore. The others wouldn't trust his leadership anymore, Steve wouldn't trust himself to lead.
"Come on, Stark." Steve whispered. "You gotta wake up. We need you."