A/N: I wrote this fic for the Kurt/Blaine Reverse Bang 2015, and it was inspired by bluefire986's beautiful and totally badass art. :)
Warnings: light drug use, excessive drinking, brief midgame Kelliott
Each time the soles of Kurt's boots fell heavily on the pavement, slapping dully with every step and sending shocks up his calves and shins, he felt an ever heightening sense of urgency, and then he heard his professor's words echoing in his head…
"There's no niche for someone like you. You're extraordinary, Kurt, which is to say, it'll take most people time to see it."
He could feel his lungs burning from the exertion, but all he wanted to do was put more distance between himself and the school, and if he kept moving, he might not cry...
"Put yourself out there, take risks. You don't have to change yourself, but you're going to have to convince them that you're their man through and through, and perhaps no one is as fearless as you."
He'd been struggling and dealing with the same thing his entire life, but he was sure that New York would be different and somehow kinder and more accepting. Despite the praise his teachers and professors often gave him about his talent and abilities, the hard truth was that Kurt was not leading man material. He would never be cast opposite Kate Hudson or pegged as an action hero or soldier. He wasn't buff, he wasn't traditionally handsome, and he could hardly pass for straight if he tried, and there were many times in his life that he had.
But now that he was in his final year at NYADA, Kurt knew he had to do something drastic. His mind was reeling and his legs were aching when a display in a storefront caught his eye, and he skidded to a halt, doubling back to peer in through the clear glass. Without hesitation, Kurt entered the small corner shop, the bell on the door jingling as it swung open and then back against its frame.
He wasn't exactly sure what had drawn him to this place, but as he gazed around at the plethora of electric guitars and other instruments hanging from the walls and set up around the store, something suddenly occurred to Kurt.
As a performing arts major at NYADA, he was by no means a stranger to music, though he wasn't much of an instrumentalist but a singer. It was his roommate and best friend whose talent he often envied. He'd often return home to their apartment to Blaine practicing on his acoustic guitar or on the small piano they were lucky to have procured at a flea market. He'd always been like that, a natural when it came to playing music and gifted with a voice to match.
Kurt was a vocalist and a performer, and that was okay. But Blaine was a musician and a songwriter, and they both attended NYADA with different concentrations, which is why they rarely saw each other on campus and never had classes at times that coincided.
What had occurred to Kurt as he stood in the dimly lit music store, surrounded by drum kits and amplifiers and guitars, was that he could take a risk and prove that he wasn't just the pale, skinny gay boy with the high voice: he could start a rock band.
Maybe it was a crazy idea, completely ludicrous and impossibly impractical, but he didn't care. He could show the world that there was a harder, grittier side to him, that he wasn't all silk scarves, Westwood, McQueen, and perfectly coiffed hair. Kurt was a star, so why couldn't he be a rock star? It may take a little tweaking of his style, but Kurt thought that perhaps it was finally time for a makeover.
Almost as quickly as he'd entered the store, he left it, taking off at an even quicker pace, racing back toward his apartment with even more urgency than he'd left the school. Checking the time on his phone, Kurt knew that, barring unforeseen circumstances, Blaine should be there.
Kurt threw the door open, and Blaine sat up, his eyebrows rising and eyes widening in startled confusion.
"Blaine, I need to talk to you," Kurt said breathlessly, drawing nearer. There was a fire in his eyes, and his entire body was buzzing with a sort of crazy energy. "I want to start a rock band."
"You what? You want to start a band, a rock band, and you're - you're serious?" Blaine said, rising slowly to his feet.
"Yes!" Kurt practically shouted. "Sorry, but, yes. Completely serious."
"But you're so Broadway and top 40 and always have been. What changed? Where did this idea even come from?"
"It just - came," Kurt said. He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Now, I know you think I sound insane, and I know I feel insane, but I think that with your help, I could really create something worthwhile, and I could finally prove to everyone that I've more than showtunes and Gaga in my soul. I'm more than that, Blaine."
"Wait a minute, with my help?" Blaine said slowly.
Kurt nodded. "You know full well that I can sing, and I have a talent for fashion and looking good, so brand recognition will never be an issue, but I'm pretty hopeless when it comes to the actual music."
Blaine let out a laugh. "Alright, but I'm not fully convinced that this just 'came to you'. What happened when you went to see Professor Caulfield?"
Kurt sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping and body collapsing, and then his brow furrowed as he spoke. "He told me what I've been hearing my entire life. I'm odd, Blaine. I'm the ugly duckling in a sea of swans, forever doomed to remain on the margins and never let into the ponds of those graced with normal looks and otherwise - the ponds being the industry."
"C'mon, Kurt. I doubt that's what he said. Besides, the ugly duckling becomes the swan," he added quietly.
"He didn't say that exactly, but it felt like it to me. The truth is that he told me I need to be bold and take more risks. People like me need to put ourselves out there and make even more of an effort than others because I'm 'extraordinary'." Kurt made air quotes and rolled his eyes. "It sucks, Blaine, but then I realized that I can do that, I can be bold, make a statement, and show that there are more sides to me than what the world can see. And that's why you're looking at the frontman of the next big thing, the next up and coming New York-based rock band."
"Kurt..." Blaine paused for a moment. "Here, come, sit down," he said, gesturing toward the couch.
Kurt did as he was told, and then sat upright on the edge of the cushion, unable to relax, crossed his legs, and quirked an eyebrow questioningly at Blaine.
"First of all, I don't think you're insane, not even a little bit," Blaine began.
"But?" Kurt interrupted.
"There's no but. Believe it or not, when you first mentioned it, I had this sort of vision of you up on a stage, center stage in the spotlight in all your glam and glory, rocking out in front of a sold-out stadium. And it's exciting to think about."
"We came here to do the impossible, right?" Kurt cut in again.
"We did, and just by getting here, by living and going to school in the city, we've already done it and beat most of the odds," Blaine said.
"Then what's stopping us from defying the odds even more, Blaine? What's stopping us from becoming something far greater than ourselves?"
Blaine was quiet for a while, as if considering everything Kurt was proposing. "Nothing," he said simply and truthfully. "Nothing's stopping us. Honestly, Kurt, you had me at 'I want to start a rock band'. I'm in. I'm totally in. Let's - let's do this."
Kurt beamed, jumping up from the couch, and then wrapped Blaine in a tight embrace.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you! God, this is going to be amazing, I can just feel it." Kurt pulled back, looking Blaine in the eye. "And even if it doesn't work out or completely flops, then at least I can say I tried, right?"
Blaine nodded. "Yeah. But you won't. Fail, that is."
"Here's hoping." Kurt took a deep breath and turned to retrieve his tablet from the small round table that served as their dining area in their small apartment. "Before I get ahead of myself, I need to create an ad for auditions. We'll need a few more people, and I'm sure NYADA is crawling with stifled, hidden and not so hidden talent, and people who crave the spotlight as much as I do and just need an outlet."
Blaine watched over Kurt's shoulder for a moment as Kurt plugged in his tablet, opened his drawing and design program, and then sat pen poised in his hand, staring at the blank page on the screen.
Beginnings were always tough, taking the initial leap and making the first mark that had the potential to grow into something far greater. But he had to start somewhere, and Blaine always admired his best friend's resilience, strong will, and ability to see the things the world could offer him but didn't, and rather than getting down about it and accepting defeat, Kurt created and built those things for himself. Because he knew he deserved better than what he'd been dealt thus far, and he'd stop at almost nothing to achieve it.