Of Brief Peace and Tea Leaves
Summary: in which Remus is pranked, Sirius has a deep hatred for tea, and James spills the liquid in question on a sensitive area.
A/N - Teensy Marauders Drabble from ages ago. I don't know why but I have a ridiculous head canon that Sirius hates tea..? I don't know. Rated T for a few curses and Sirius. (Yes, he requires his own warning.) Typical Marauderness. Sirius is an ass, James is a sarcastic ass, Peter doesn't have a fucking clue what's going on, and Remus is pissed off at Sirius.
(Unbeta'd. Oops.)
James Potter was having a rather pleasant morning. His long fingers were contently wrapped around a mug of tea as he hunched slightly over a copy of the Daily Prophet that lay on the table. The orange tabby cat that Sirius insisted on keeping around the flat (James suspected it had something to with the fact that Peter hated them) wound itself around his skinny ankles.
His peace, as usual, was to be brief.
He raised his head to watch as Sirius skidded down the hallway, tripping as the smooth hardwood gave way to kitchen tiles.
"The beast is coming!" He squeaked. "Hide me!" The octave of the squeak told James what he already knew.
Sirius Black was an idiot.
An idiot who was now hiding crouching behind his chair, putting him between him and whatever beast he was speaking of.
As per freaking usual.
Before James could move to protect himself, however, a shout came from the far end of the house. "SIRIUS ORION BLACK, I SWEAR I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!" Remus stopped short as he entered the kitchen, and James spewed his tea all over some political twat's face as they bellowed silently from the paper.
"Remus!" He managed to cough out. "Mate, you're blue!"
And he was.
From his sleep ruffled hair to his slippered feet, Remus was covered in a blue powder. James was willing to bet his broomstick that even his eyelashes were blue.
Sirius whimpered, crawling under the chair. Or at least tried.
James was a tall man. That being said, Sirius was a giant. The chair tipped sideways, causing it's occupant to do the same, hitting his shoulder against the wall beside him. Gravity worked in just the right way, allowing his dressing gown to acquire about half a cup of his wonderful, scolding hot tea on it's crotch area.
"Bloody fucking hell, Sirius!" He exclaimed angrily, jumping up.
Peter shuffled sleepily into the room, rubbing his eyes. He stopped abruptly as he took in the scene before him.
"What in Merlin's name is going on?" He asked incredulously.
"Why is tea considered a consumable beverage, Peter? No one knows." Sirius answered from his position on the floor where he was leaning, his back against the cupboards.
"Sirius, your hatred of tea is completely unreasonable." James said, as he tries fruitlessly to rid himself of the object in question.
"James it's juice from leaves. The blood of leaves. It's animal cruelty. "
"Padfoot," James started tiredly. "Leaves come from plants."
"Shut up and drink your goddamn leaf blood, Prongs!" Sirius scowled up at him.
"I can't now that you've dumped it on me, can I, dumbass?" James snapped.
"Sirius," Remus interjected. "Is there anyway to fix this?" He asked, pointing to his blue face.
"Your face? Sorry mate can't do anything about that." Sirius answered cheekily. "The fact that it's blue just requires soap and water, though, nothing fancy," he added quickly, seeing his friend's glare.
"Is there no such as peace and quiet around here?" James muttered to himself as he made his way out of the kitchen.
...
(He already knew the answer to that question.)
A/N - Thanks for reading! I added a movie quote in there, did anyone notice? (Hint: Marvel) Anyways, ily and you're awesomely fantastic and have a kick ass day/week/month/year/life.