The In Between

by endofnonentity

Banks eyed the JV Captain from where he was sitting across the room. He looked exhausted. He could sympathize, practices had been brutal since their victory over the Varsity team and the ever growing rivalry was more intense than ever. It was taking a toll on all of them. CHADAM.

Disclaimer: I do not have any rights to any of the characters that I stole to manipulate in this story. All that follows is a work of fiction and a product of boredom. This story follows the developing relationship between Adam Banks and Charlie Conway. Read at your own discretion.

Somewhere In Between

By Endofnonentity

Banks eyed the JV Captain from where he was sitting across the room. He looked exhausted. He could sympathize, practices had been brutal since their victory over the Varsity team and the ever growing rivalry was more intense than ever. It was taking a toll on all of them. Charlie blinked hard, shifting to sit straighter in an attempt to stay awake through the rest of the class.

It had been a rough year for their captain. When Bombay had left it had hit him hard, knocking the wind out of him and the floor from beneath his feet, leaving him reeling. While Adam could relate to the shock of the sudden separation he knew it was the worst for Charlie. There had been a time back when they were young, before Bombay had left to play in the Minors that they were a family. Not officially but, the closest thing Charlie had ever had to one. But, Casey had gotten tired of waiting, of being alone and she had found someone else. Even then Charlie had coped. He always did. And no one ever noticed.

When the team had been awarded scholarships to attend Eden Hall, Adam had been beyond thrilled. His parents had already enrolled him. He had always been different than them, from a different world. Charlie had been the only one to welcome him, the only one to trust him.

"You can't change where you come from Adam." Even at ten Charlie had been more understanding of the world than anyone he had ever met. He was always lost somewhere up in his head, he thought too much. That was part of where he got his childhood nickname. Those words spoken quietly in the locker room had given him some reassurance. He knew he could count on Charlie to be by his side until he gave him a reason not to be. As always the other Ducks followed suit, Charlie had no idea the power he had over them. He may not have been the best skater, the best player but he was everyone's friend and they trusted him.

The bell rang and their teacher reminded them to do their reading for tomorrow's class as well as the questions listed on the last page before dismissing them. Adam slid his book into his backpack and waited for Charlie.

"Man you look about ready to fall over. What's up with you?" The brunette rubbed his face and forced a smile as he slung an arm around his shoulders.

"I'm fine Banksie." Up close he looked even worse. He looked thinner but, the blond couldn't tell if it was just because he was use to seeing him with all his hockey gear on.

"Well I hope you didn't skip breakfast again, we have a double practice after class." Charlie groaned, just as he had expected he'd forgotten.

"Gods you're so predictable, here." Grabbing a bar from his bag he shoved it at the taller boy who accepted it.

"Thanks Banksie, see you at practice!" He tried to swat his hand away but, Charlie still managed to ruffle his hair before laughing and walking down the hall to his next class.

"You know I hate that!" He called after him, trying to flatten it back down.

"It looks better like that." Charlie called back, waving over his shoulder with out even looking back. That boy could charm his way out of just about anything.

There were only two classes to get through before the end of the day and though he tried to pay attention his notes eventually dissolved into doodles around the edges of the page. His dad would be pissed if he didn't do well but, it was hard to focus when all he wanted to do was get to practice. He had spent a lot of time with Charlie over the summer, well all of the Ducks but, him mostly. They would meet up and play or go skating. They were closer than ever so what was with this skirting the problem?

He was so easy to set off sometimes Adam found himself tiptoeing around him. Not sure what he would take offense to. They had already had it out after the JV Varsity grudge match the two boys had apologized to each other and called a truce. And while it had seemed to Adam that everything was back to normal between them once in a while Charlie would just explode. It could be over anything, over nothing at all.

Adam figured he was just protective of his friends, he always had been. He had tried talking to him but, Charlie was also proving to be the master at subject changing and ducking any kind of serious conversations lately. There was a new aggression that had never been there before. Growing up Charlie was the first to make friends, fist to lend a hand, the fist to try and fix a problem. Adam glanced at the clock again, trying to ignore how slowly the hands seemed to be crawling. He was thinking about this all too much. Shaking his head he tried to force his attention back to class and back to his notes.

He was usually the first one to the locker room since his ninth period class was the closest. So when Charlie came around the corner, shirt in his hand and bag slung over his shoulder Adam was surprised.

"Hey." Banks couldn't suppress a laugh when Charlie jumped.

"Hey, I didn't hear you come in." He smiled, dropping his bag on the bench to pull on a white T. Adam shifted to his own locker and started to dress, knowing the rest of the team would be there any minute.

Charlie dropped his pads twice before getting them on and knocked over his stick while trying to tie one of his skates. Adam just watched his Captain quietly. Their eyes met briefly and Charlie scowled, leaving the hockey stick where it had fallen.

"What?" Adam didn't say anything right away, his mind stuck between actually answering the question and trying to determine if it was worth the possible fight that might ensue if he did.

"You've got your skate on the wrong foot." He offered, relieved when Charlie just sighed but, it only lasted a minute. Leaning forward he pressed his forehead into his hands and just sat there. Caught off guard by the sharp intake of breath Adam gave him a minute but he didn't move.

"Charlie?" Leaving his stuff where it sat he shifted over to where his best friend sat, kneeling down on the padded floor and dropping a hand to the Captains knee.

"This practice is going to suck." The pair jerked upright as Goldberg and Julie pushed open the door, both greeting them before moving to their respective lockers.

"Hi ya Banks, Charlie" Adam smiled, trying not to look on edge. By the time he looked back, Charlie was lacing up his skates quickly, the offending one now on the correct foot and smiling at the goalies.

"Hey guys, ready to get some work done?" The comment resulted in a groan from Goldberg as he began to unpack his equipment.

"Do ya have to say it like that huh? You're taking all the fun out of it, work is hard and hockey should be fun!" Adam pulled on his jersey and headed out to the rink, oblivious to Charlie watching him.

The thing about Charlie is, well it's hard to say. Adam thought he'd had him figured out. He was protective and sentimental, he lived in his jersey from when they met in peewees for gods sake. He was bright, both in the sense that he was intelligent as well as vivid. Charlie lived in every direction all of the time with nothing holding him back. And in the flesh well he was basically all of those things, so it's really not that surprising when he slings an arm around his shoulders or laughs just a little too long. It isn't odd for him to live in your personal space like he was made to exist between your layers of shirts. Because Charlie is just that kind of a person, and those are the things you expect from him.

By the end of practice he's got him convinced that nothing was ever wrong. It's not like Adam is a push over but, everything is just so normal. He likes to think that he knows Charlie well enough by now, that they have shared enough of themselves with each other that he would be able to sense the distress. If anything was seriously wrong he would be able to see it, in the slant of his shoulders and the quiet with drawl. Though he hadn't been there, he had heard from the other Ducks about what had happened when Orion made them ditch their jerseys. The rest of the day he had kept an eye out for his once team mate, shoving the rivalry aside because he was worried. It had been days before anyone had seen him at school again.

So now Adam watched him carefully but, he played hard and joked around just like usual. There was nothing, none of the signs that had seemed so obvious in the locker room, was he really that far off? No, no he didn't think so. At some point between staying focused on practice and worrying about Charlie, the later of which seemed to be taking up an alarmingly large portion of his time these days, he decided the best defense was a good offense, which is how he found himself slowly putting away his hockey equipment and carefully folding his clothes that were going to be shoved into the washer some time in the next few hours.

He found that for once it was a good thing Charlie seemed unable to get out of the shower in less than fifteen minutes and silently forgave him for all the times this had resulted in the team having to wait around for their Captain. Hearing the shower finally turn off he was suddenly aware of how suspicious it would seem if Charlie came out and he was just sitting on the bench next to his already packed bag. He briefly considered taking it all out again just so he would have something to do with his hands. Confrontation was never one of his strong points.

Grabbing his comb he hastily slid a hand through his still wet hair, messing it up again just as Charlie came out of the showers. He stared straight ahead in to the mirror, trying to pretend it was the only thing keeping him here.

"Aww Banksie you didn't have to wait for me." Busted.

"Your hairs getting long-"

"I'm not- ugh Charlie!" The laugh that resonated through out the empty room was enough to curb his annoyance.

"It looks better like that!" Knowing a lost cause when he saw one, he tossed his comb back into his bag with a huff, leaving his sandy blond hair exactly as it was.

"Fine, if you say so." Clearly surprised Charlie just grinned, reaching out a calloused hand to tuck a few of the more disheveled parts behind his ears, more as a peace offering than anything.

"I actually did want to talk to you for a minute." Blue eyes met grey ones and locked. Adam was the first to look away, tugging the zipper pull on his bag the rest of the way closed. He winced at the seriousness in his tone, all of the playfulness present only a few moments ago evaporated from the room.

"Is everything alright?" He wasn't sure if the concern in the other boy's voice should have upset him as much as it did. And the next comment came out much more sarcastic that he meant.

"I'm fine Charlie."

"Look don't get pissed at me, you're the one that said you wanted to talk alright?" God he had hardly said two words and it was already not going anything like he had planned. Why did he make him so crazy?

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I just, I wanted to make sure that YOU were alright." Grey eyes widened and somewhere in the back of his mind Adam was aware that no one should look that surprised that someone cares about them. Sinking down onto the edge of the bench, Adam started tying his skates together simply for something to do with his hands. There were too many things he wanted to say and he was trying to keep them all straight in his head. Being around Charlie had a way of making him say stupid things.

"It's just, before practice you seemed kind of upset. I wanted to make sure you knew you could…you know talk to me if some thing is bothering you." The stretch of silence made his mouth dry and his fingers stumbled over the knot.

"Thanks Banksie." The comment was soft and low, accompanied by strong arms wrapping around his shoulders, the contact made his breath hitch.

He wrapped his fingers around Charlie's where they were intertwined at the base of his neck. Just as sudden as the contact started it was gone, and the cool air took the place of the brief heat.

"I'm just a little stressed out with classes and practice I'm fine, promise"

" 'Kay." He did his best to try and sound somewhat articulate, did that even count? If it did it was just barely. Swallowing hard he studied the toes of his shoes, trying to slow his heart rate as Charlie moved to get dressed. What the hell had just happened?

Charlie was just being, well Charlie. Adam had learned long ago that that was how he showed affection, just another way that they were complete opposites He had gotten used to it. Or he had thought he had. The few times he had met Casey, she was the same way. As soon as he introduced himself she had hugged him tightly and with a smile said that of course he was Adam, Charlie talked about him all the time. To which Charlie had rolled his eyes and just watched it happen like it was old news. No one else seemed to think it was odd so he had smiled nervously and went with it.

"Let's go get some dinner." Grinning he shouldered his bag and moved toward the door, holding it open for Adam to pass.

Somewhere between the rink and the dinning hall Adam realized the conversation he had planned in his head had never happened at all and once again Charlie Conway had managed to charm his way out of actually answering him. He hated that the taller boy knew exactly the right things to do and say to make him react how he wanted. The blond boy had seen him do it multiple times yet somehow he still never saw it coming.

Adam has this pair of black plastic frame glasses that he only wears when he's in his dorm room and trying to give his eyes a break from his contacts. He flat out refuses to go out in public with them on and has never in the five years he had known Charlie worn them in front of him. With the way his morning is going though, it really isn't much of a surprise that his contact case has gone missing. If he didn't know better he would swear that his dysfunctional alarm clock was in on it. So left with the choice of either not being able to see or being seen wearing his glasses, common sense dictates that he should just put them on and stop being such a girl about it. With a heavy sigh he puts them in their case and shoves it into the pocket of his jacket, mentally labeling it 'in case of emergency only' and heads out the door, common sense shoved aside.

Even with blurred surroundings he manages to get to class and slip into his seat before the bell rings, the scramble leaving him slightly frantic because if nothing else, Adam Banks was always on time.

"I think you've been spending too much time with Charlie." Connie grins at him, her book already out on her desk with the homework pages tucked neatly inside the front cover. His heart stutters.

"What?" Obviously amused at his confusion she gestures to his hair. Right, it was probably a mess he really hadn't had time to even look in the mirror this morning. Waking up when you need to be walking out the door tends to have that effect.

"Practice is really starting to wear me out." He offered, knowing she would instantly agree and forget that Charlie had been brought into this conversation. Speaking of their Captain, where was he?

"Pass your homework up to the front please, and take out your books-" He tried to catch Connie's eye again with out avail. Unfortunately for him she was the only other person in this class that would know anything about his whereabouts so he begrudgingly turned his attention to the front of the room.

Mrs. McCrory was standing with her back to them, book in one hand and already starting to scrawl notes on the black board with the other. At least he assumed that was what she was doing, even squinting he couldn't make out more than a white haze trailing along behind her hand. No one was paying enough attention to notice as he slipped the glasses on and began copying the text.

"You will have an essay due this coming Wednesday on the reading from chapters four and five so make sure you-"

The class room door opened, all eyes shifting to the movement and there stood Charlie, obviously straight out of bed, bag unzipped and thrown over his shoulder. Somehow he managed to look…perfect. When Adam rolled out of bed he needed a hot shower, a cup of tea, at least another fifteen minutes to get dressed and pack his bag before he even felt like a human. Racking his brain he tried to remember a time when Charlie ever looked out of place to him.

"Sorry, I over slept." Smiling he rubbed the back of his head, trying to walk casually to his seat. The teacher just watched as he sat down, they had reached an understanding by this point in the year.

Getting reprimanded did not do anything when it came to Charlie Conway, it was better if she didn't send him to the principals office because then he just missed class and fell behind. She had developed a soft spot for him.

People tend to lean strongly one way or the other when it came to Charlie. His personality and over all state of being was just so loud and unwavering it seemed those that came in contact with him either butted heads or admired him for it. Adam was usually the later. He wasn't very good at saying what ever he wanted or what he felt. It wasn't until he became friends with the Ducks that he even was aware he could be his own person or that his decisions were his to make and own.

"Pass up your assignment." The rustle of paper got Adam out of his own head and he almost laughed out loud when Charlie dug a crumpled piece of paper out from the depths of his back pack, pausing to scrawl his name across the top. Their teacher just raised an eyebrow and went on about the up coming essay.

Satisfied that the attention was off him for the most part he slumped down in his chair and looked around the room, searching for Adam mostly out of habit. The center lineman had made it a point to diligently take notes until the end of class, never so glad that his seat was across the room from the team's Captain.

"I didn't know you wore glasses." Charlie nudged his shoulder with his own, having made a bee line for the blond at the sound of the bell. Adam just shrugged, taking them off and preparing to put them away. Reaching out the taller boy tugged them from slender fingers to look through them.

"I don't usually." Adam couldn't help but smile as he pushed them onto his face, of course Charlie could pull them off, Charlie could make anything seem like it had always been a part of him. It was almost like he absorbed a little bit of all the things he came into contact with and built them into his personality. Adam was pretty sure that was from a science fiction film he had seen.

"Wow you're really blind! How can you even see where you are right now?" The blond couldn't decide if he should be horrified or amused as the brunette almost ran into the door trying to walk out of it. Catching his elbow he steered him down the hallway, not really wanting Coach Orion blaming him if Charlie managed to get himself landed in the nurse's office the night before a game.

"Speaking of, shouldn't you be the one making sure I don't run into walls?" Instead of just handing them back, like any normal person would have done the other boy insisted on perching the frames back on Adams nose, poking him in the ear in the process.

"What other secrets are you keeping from me?" It was supposed to be a joke, he could determine that from the tone in Charlie's voice and the ease in his demeanor. For a fleeting second his mind flipped through them all, the things that he had either purposefully hidden from the Captain or had somehow never come up and stayed locked away. He supposed it was only natural, they had known each other long enough to accumulate enough fights and not long enough to know every detail about the other.

"I've actually been conspiring with the Hawks all this time, I grew up on an island, I've been to the moon, I'm actually a shape shifter." Charlie rolled his eyes and shoved him away with a laugh.

"So why are you wearing glasses?" The blond scrunched his nose in an attempt to slide the offending object back into place.

"One too many hits to the head?" When Charlie shot him that look he gave in and just shrugged, suddenly feeling very self conscious.

"I couldn't find my contacts this morning."

"You should wear them more, I like them. Then again, you're already smart enough, don't want to over do it. Varsity already has enough reason to be on our case. Probably should avoid adding Banks the Super Genius to the list." He had spun to walk backwards, smirking and not paying any attention to where he was going. That was just like Charlie, nothing was ever serious.

"I just hate having to put in my contacts for practice, these" he gestured to the new addition to his appearance. "are not conducive to wearing under a helmet."

"Averman does it all the time."

"Yeah, well he obviously doesn't mind being uncomfortable." He must have been making a face because Charlie dissolved into laughter again, falling into step next to him and slinging an arm around his shoulders.

"God you're so spoiled!" Adam frowned but, what could he really say. He had never felt better off than anyone else. Sure he lived in the 'nice part of town' but, his parents were still controlling and strict. While his house might be a little bigger than his other team mates it was probably also lonelier than any of theirs were. Growing up they had always picked on him about having to be home for dinner. What they didn't understand was that was the only time he really got to see his parents or talk to them so he made it a point to never miss it. Even though as he got older it seemed they had less and less to say.

"Are you going to look for them on your study hall?" Adam shoved his thoughts aside and tried to catch up to the conversation at hand.

"Look for what?" Sometimes he wasn't sure how Charlie thought he was so smart, most of the time he was stumbling along behind the brunette. Stopping Charlie put one arm in front of him, palm flat against the wall, effectively bringing them to a standstill. Adam swallowed trying very, very hard to not equate the action with the hundreds of teen romance movies that it occurred in. Unceremoniously, the taller boy tapped the side of his glasses, raising an eyebrow, waiting for him to catch up.

"Your contacts, maybe you have had one to many blows to the head." He wrapped his fingers around the back of Adams neck and patted his cheek with the other before laughing and continuing down the hallway. It took longer than it should have after they separated for Adam to start breathing again because, what the hell? His fingers were still splayed across the tiled wall as he told himself yes, it was important to keep breathing. Focus, just he had to focus because this was not the place to do this. What ever it was that was fighting its way to the surface through his mental fog was not going to help.

"You coming Banksie?" The Captain's long strides had carried him halfway down the hall before he noticed the absence of his friend. Not that he attached any reason or meaning to the sudden separation. At least the other boy hoped he hadn't.

"Yeah."

Sometimes it's in the set of his jaw, or the way he ended an argument by being exceptionally blunt. Times like these it isn't the moves he makes but the ones he doesn't. The things that Adam doesn't want to admit to wanting. When he leans just a little too close or accidently brushes the back of his hand with his finger tips when they are walking, it makes him stilted and withdrawn.

Adam had been looking for Charlie for almost half an hour, he hadn't been in his room and Guy had said he'd seen him walking with his skates. So he had trekked to the rink only to find it dark and empty. No one else seemed worried, he had tried to talk to Connie but she had just smiled sympathetically and told him sometimes Charlie just got like this. How easily she dismissed it, how they all dismissed it, it bothered him immensely. They had played perfectly the first period. The other team hadn't scored a single goal and they all seemed to be operating in each others head space. Then something had happened, he mentally ran over everything he could remember up until that point and still could not pin point what had gotten to Charlie. He kept messing up, wrong place at the wrong time, never where he was supposed to be. Eventually Orion pulled him and put in Russ. They won and everyone had just, acted like nothing happened. Their Captain hadn't even showered, just packed up his stuff and left, not saying anything to anyone. It was Friday night, he should be celebrating their win with the rest of the team but, it wasn't really the same if Charlie wasn't there.

Finally giving up he used his cell to dial Casey, thank god he had memorized Charlie's house number even if it did take him a couple tries to recall it. It rang three times before someone picked it up.

"Hello?" It was a male voice but, not Charlie. For a second it made his resolve falter, maybe he had dialed wrong after all.

"Hi, is uh is Charlie there?"

"Let me check just a minute. Charlie?" Adam had to hold the phone away from his ear the last part was yelled so loudly. After a few minutes of muffled conversation he couldn't make out, someone else talked into the receiver.

"Hello?" Relief washed over him, it was Casey.

"Hi Casey this is Adam, is Charlie there?" He could hear her shift he phone to her other ear.

"No he's not, did he tell you he was coming home for the weekend? Did something happen?"

"I, I'm not sure he seemed a little out of it earlier I was going to check on him but Guy said he had his skates and he isn't at the rink." And there it was, the obvious conclusion. The pond.

"Sorry to bother you, I think I know where he went now."

"Give me a call when you find him alright?" He couldn't help but smile at the worry in her voice. He wondered if Charlie realized how lucky he was to have a mom that cared about him more than anything.

The bus ride wasn't long but, the walk the rest of the way was frigid, making his fingertips numb and his worry grow. The skates slung over his shoulder clink as he walks, reminding him why he's all the way out here in the first place. The only other time he had been to the pond was shortly after everything had come to a head last year. It was where he and Charlie had finally made up, mostly because this is where he was when Adam had finally had enough and gone to look for him. He had been skating laps and with out saying anything the blond had laced up and joined him. When they were finally so tired that their legs were shaking Adam had tried to get him to stop and they had fought again. The apology had fallowed shortly after. So he wasn't all that surprised when he spotted him sitting on one of the benches.

He slipped onto the seat next to the shivering boy, not saying anything because he honestly had been so relieved to find him he hadn't bothered to come up with a proper conversation. So he gave himself a moment to try and determine which version of upset Charlie was. There were only two options, the angry kind where no matter what he did or said it was wrong and only made him madder. Version one seemed to always end up making it worse and was fallowed by a long segment of neither of them talking to the other. The other was harder to mend, when Charlie was really hurt, when he needed someone to comfort him and tell him that yes, everything would work out. Adam was even worse at this option, mostly because Charlie never wanted anyone to pity him.

"I was kind of hoping that you would find me." The statement catches Adam off guard but, he manages to run with it.

"Sorry it took so long, you could have left a few more clues." The light jab was worth the risk when instead of closing up Charlie laughed softly.

"You said if I wanted to talk…" He let the sentence tail off and just looked at the other boy, obviously uncomfortable.

"Yeah I did." God this was hard, Charlie didn't do the whole opening up thing, not about his problems. He was the fixer, he was use to taking care of his team, of his mom, his friends.

"Here." Adam pulled off his gloves and pressed them into Charlie's lap, at least he other boy knew him well enough to not try and give them back. Instead he murmured thanks and pulled his hands out of his pockets to put them on. The sun had sunk down below the tree line, stamping them black against the faded rusty gold of the sky. Street lights had already begun to flicker to life, their harsh yellow glow spotting the road he had taken to get here. God it was freezing.

For the first time in a long time the silence between them wasn't awkward, mostly because they didn't have anything to fight about anymore. That realization, despite the circumstances put Adam in a good mood. Somehow, even though last year had torn them apart over and over there were no hard feelings. Against all odds they had managed to piece it all back together leaving them more scare tissue than skin but, avoid any non-mend able wounds.

It was a relief.

"Where's your head Banksie?" He bit his lip, embarrassed that Charlie had caught him drifting. He really shouldn't be smiling when his friend was obviously in pain.

"I was just thinking, I'm glad this isn't another round of apologies between us."

"You thought I was mad again, should I be?" The quiet underlying playfulness made it easier to breath.

"I don't know." He kicked the toe of Charlie's sneaker, and leaned in closer so their shoulders knocked together.

His eyes had adjusted to the light now, the frozen surface of the pond glistened like it was constructed solely from magic, dim and striped with shadows from the trees that lined its edges. He wanted to be out there where maybe things could make sense.

"Skate with me." It was more an offer than a statement but, either way it seemed to catch the Captain off guard. Charlie wasn't going to talk just yet, as much as he might have intended to Adam could see he just wasn't ready. He needed to get out of his head, the blond could relate to that. Instead of replying, the brunette moved to pull on his skates.

This time was different than their last meeting here. For the first time, being on the ice together had nothing to do with competing. Here, right now they could just be friends. No pressure for either of them to be the best, skate the fastest or be perfect. Their pace was slow and finally, Charlie relaxed.

"He came to the game." He finally breathed out, eyes straight ahead.

"Who's that?" He could sense the surrender in his sigh and slump of his shoulders.

"Sam." Adam glanced at his friend even though he knew he wouldn't be looking at him. Charlie was a secretive person when it came to personal things. Sam was Casey's husband. Someone he had never heard him really talk about before. He knew she had remarried before their acceptance into the Jr. Good Will games but, that was it. Adam didn't recall seeing her with anyone at their games, not that he would have recognized the man. The silence stretched out in front of them, making space between the why's and what if's that could have filled the gap.

"You didn't want him there." Adam raised his hands to rub them together and always the observant one Charlie caught the motion. In response he pulled off the gloves, turning to skate backwards in front of the only friend that had noticed something was wrong today.

"No, not really." The admission was accompanied by a shrug, exaggerated by the shifting of the coat and scarf the taller boy was wearing.

"He just isn't part of that. I want to keep it for me." With that said he pressed Adams frozen fingers between his own much warmer ones.

"So what's he a part of?" He regretted it as soon as the words left his lips, he could feel the tension in the hands warming his. The Captain's lips pressed into a firm line, obviously he had hit a nerve, hard.

"Now you sound like my mom." He snapped back, tossing the gloves back to Adam who dropped them. Why was it always like this with them? Why was it that when ever they settled into a state of normalcy it all got rattled apart again? Don't get frustrated, don't get frustrated.

"Charlie." It came out more a whine than demanding but, Adam was just glad it didn't sound condescending because that would have effectively rendered their conversation as over.

"He isn't a part of anything!" The pair stood staring at each other until Charlie growled and turned to skate away, embarrassed at his outburst and irritated that he had yet again dragged Adam into a fight over something that wasn't his fault.

"Why not?"

"Because. That's why. Leave it alone Adam."

It was jarring, the deferment from his nickname. He didn't even feel attached to it anymore, especially when Charlie used it. It was like it belonged to a different person. He guessed that on some level it did. Adam was the scared kid who had been forced to leave all of the people he thought were his friends and been forced to play with a group of strangers that wanted nothing to do with him, even if he could help them. Adam was what his parents called him but, not Charlie.

"Look you're the one that brought it up." It came out more worried than he had wanted it to but, there was no way to take it back or fix it up so he just left it.

"Well I changed my mind alright, I can still do that can't I?" He called the curt response over his shoulder from where he was half way back to the edge of the pond.

"No."

"What?" Adam almost smiled at the confusion his question carried.

"You heard me. No." Leaving his gloves where they were laying at his feet he skated over to where Charlie and stopped where the taller boy started down at him, scowling.

"Charlie." He pressed his hand to the Captains chest, trying to maintain some kind of connection with the emotionally distant boy.

"You can't expect everyone to be open books with you and then never let someone else return the favor." He could feel the slight pulse of his heart, even through the layers of his shirts and jacket. Knowing he may never get a chance at this conversation again he licked his lips and took a stab at guessing the problem.

"You know when I was young my dad was everything to me. He was God in my eyes. I did everything, made every decision for him. Never for me until it was Ducks or no hockey at all. Charlie he wanted me to quit all together. That was the first time I realized that his pride could get in the way of what he should have been concerned with, doing what was best for me." This wasn't something he shared easily but, he had meant what he told Charlie, you couldn't expect someone to open up unless you did. So he was going to show him how, even if it required dredging up a lot of unwanted feelings and memories.

"Dad's don't always do what they should, they're still just human."

"I know that, I just, we fight all the time, about everything. He just picks everything I do apart and it makes me crazy!"

"At least he cares enough to fight with you." He had been trying to helpful, not swing the magnifying glass to his own life. Unfortunately Charlie caught it and pressed.

"How is that caring at all?" Adam let the sarcastic tone slide and he dropped his gaze to the glittering ice under their feet.

"My dad doesn't talk to me." And there it was laid out unceremoniously like the morning after prom when you wake up in someone else bed. His eyes refuse to lift instead tracing the edges of Charlie's shadow where it's spread out over the ice and blurs into his own. Of course this is how it would turn out. He tried to decide if it makes it easier, that their problems seem to correspond or if it's ironic because they are opposite, just like the two of them. Charlie leans forward to rests his forehead against the blonds. Somewhere very far off Adam is concerned this isn't a very bro kind of thing to do but, he doesn't have much to equate it with, not that Charlie abides by any kind of predisposed set of rules. But then he smiles and all the rambling in his head quiets.

"Maybe we should just switch then." And Adam exhales, letting his eyes fall shut, glad that Charlie knows him so well and knows when to not push.

"So is this where we kiss and make up?" With a shove Adam ignores the smirk that pulls at the Captains lips and glides backwards, putting some much needed space between them.

"Yeah right, you wish Conway." So much for having a moment.

There was this thing between them now and it seemed to span the cracks that had kept them from getting too close. Averman comments on it at lunch when he catches the two in their own conversation for the tenth time that day.

"Okay love birds, share with the rest of the team!" Charlie just throws something at him and grins.

"Feeling left out?"

The red head tries to dodge but fails and ends falling dramatically out of his seat, continuing to gasp on the floor until Goldberg drops his coat over him, and begins to lament loudly over his fallen comrade.

The rest of the Ducks just throw things at them and laugh until the tables closest to them begin to stare. They would never fit in at this school and none of them cared enough to really even try anymore. Adam watched quietly, he would never have been friends with the Ducks if Charlie hadn't been the bridge between them. Now that they were older he realized that maybe Charlie had been so quick to make him feel like he fit in because even though he had friends he drifted on the fringe. Their parents had all been together, they all had siblings and cousins that lived just around the corner. Charlie didn't Up until the previous year the person he had confided in the most had been Hans and now he couldn't. The realization had made him rather fond of the over zealous teen who was prone to take offense and get in fights.

"Are you going home over the weekend break?" The question was asked quietly, drawing the brunette's attention back to his team mate seated next to him. He shook his head and tossed the garbage into the brown paper bag he had brought his lunch in, knowing if he didn't do it, it would bother Adam until he reached over and took care of it. Neat freak didn't even start to cover it.

"I don't think so. I mean I want to see my mom but-" The sentence trailed off and was punctuated with a shrug. He understood, he wasn't over it yet. Of all his character flaws holding on to a grudge should be listed at the top when it came to the team Captain. His trust was easily given but not easy to keep, which is why some nights Adam still marveled that they managed to stay friends all these years.

When they were apart for too long, Adam became easily agitated and needy. He would never admit it but, his friends could see the shift in demeanor. Thankfully they never equated it with the absence of their Captain. The long weekend coming up was for all intensive purposes far too long in his book so he shifted a little in his seat to ease the panic rising in his chest and just asked him.

"Do you want to stay at my place?" And oh god it was out there now and he couldn't take it back.

"You don't have to do that Banksie, I'll be fine." The smile that followed didn't quite reach his eyes and the blond knew he was lying.

"I wasn't asking for you." He shot back, sinking back in his chair a bit to put some distance between them. It was only half a lie.

"My mom is out of town for her job, I wouldn't mind the company is all." There was the underlying reason that he wanted company that neither of them chose to bring up.

If he went home alone, well it was like this. Adam would spend the first day wandering around the house in his sweat pants, getting scolded for leaving dishes in the living room and his skates out on the porch. Sooner or later the dominating silence would drive him upstairs. When he was younger, the only way to get praise from his mother was a tidy appearance as well as a spotless room. So when he got anxious, usually stemming from being stuck in the vast emptiness of his house, he cleaned. Not just doing laundry or picking up some of the clothes that had managed to find themselves piled on the floor because his clothes were never, ever in piles. No, it was the neurotic kind of cleaning.

After the fight with Charlie over the Varsity thing last year, right before he went to find him and fix it he had scrubbed his dorm room literally ceiling to floor, washed all of the clothes and bed sheets he brought with him and vacuumed the carpet twice. For once he had been glad his parents had money because he had been given one of the few single rooms in their building and didn't have a room mate to walk in on the insanity.

By the third day of their break he would have called Charlie because he couldn't cope with being away from the other boy much longer with out starting to feel awkward in his own skin like he was walking around with it on backwards and the tags showing.

They would make plans and meet and end up back at his house, sitting next to each other on the couch bumping elbows together and eating potato chips. At least that was how it used to be. If he could help it, he wanted to skip all the things leading up to them hanging out and just pretend to be a functional adult.

"Okay." Adam stopped tearing the piece of paper in his fingers over and over into smaller pieces to look at the other boy, something between relief and disbelief etched into his features.

"Yeah?" Grey eyes crinkled as he smiled at him, amazed that something so simple, that other people took for granted could make the other boy so happy. It made him wonder if Adam had friends over often. The brunette couldn't remember a time they had ever been to Adams. As far as he had seen was his driveway. The realization was odd, especially since the last summer he had practically lived at Charlie's. Not that he stayed the night except once or twice when they were younger and the weather was bad. His parents had been weird about it but, Charlie had been too young to realize it at the time.

"They won't care that I stay that long?" Adam just shrugged, claiming it shouldn't really be a problem. He didn't want to say that they would probably hardly notice that their son was there, even if it was the truth.

As the two made plans, Charlie swept the home made confetti Adam had created into a pile and added it to the garbage in his paper bag to be thrown away on his way out the door.

After class, Adam followed him to the dorm room he shared with Guy, intending to help the Captain pack. What he ended up doing seemed to amuse number ninety-six immensely. Charlie would dig through his drawers and pull out what he wanted, tossing it all into a pile on the bed. With out giving it a second thought Adam picked each thing up and folded it, then placing the article of clothing in the duffle that had been dug out from under Charlie's bed and set on top of the dark blue comforter. It was habit, he didn't do it consciously.

As they talked Charlie moved to gather his things from the bathroom then stood, leaning innocently against the door frame.

"Are you going to clean my whole room?" Stopping mid sentence the blond looked up from the jeans he just placed in a drawer. Then, not missing a beat shrugged and tossed a few stray socks into the laundry basket that was only half full. It wasn't even all that messy, especially compared to some of their other team's rooms he had seen. Charlie had a way of existing in a constant state of organized disarray.

"No, that would take us all of break." He just barely ducked the notebook that was chucked in his direction.

"Can't I just sleep in your room?" They were standing in the doorway of the guestroom which for some reason Charlie seemed wary of.

"It's just, I'm kind of use to sharing a room now and your house is huge." He tacked on, giving Adam this look. When ever they met up here it was to go skating or after skating to change his clothes before going to Charlie's where the whole team would usually just cram into his tiny living room to watch a movie. Charlie's apartment was what he though a real home would be like, lived in, cozy, too many things from too many years all competing for what space was left but, still organized and cared for. Maybe he had seen one to many hallmark movies.

"I guess if that's what you want to do I don't care." So they shut the door, closing off the too white walls and neatly made bed that reminded Charlie of a well decorated, high end hotel room.

This was all a little outside his comfort zone from the start but now this, this he wasn't even sure where to go with. With out any other real option he led the Captain to his room, trying to evaluate where he left everything the last time he had been home from school.

Though the space was larger than he expected, everything else made sense to Charlie. The hockey posters that were hung on the wall were in proper frames which made him smile but, he didn't mention it. The desk in the corner by the window had shelves lined with books and a few trophies and metals. Adam dropped his laptop bag into the chair, confirming that the empty space was for a computer. If he were to pull the door open he was sure he would find a closet filled with neatly pressed khakis and polo shirts sorted by color.

The blond just hung back in the corner, watching the other look around. It wasn't really embarrassing even though it was his room, he didn't feel particularly attached to it. It wasn't like Charlie's with magazine clippings pinned to the walls, hockey gear tucked into every corner, personality crowding into all the small spaces. It was just a room that belonged to a teenage boy who was in high school. The comparison made him feel rather small and insignificant.

Charlie stopped in front of one of the posters and pointed, a look of complete disbelief on his face.

"Is that SIGNED?" Adam ignored the fingerprint left on the glass.

"Yeah." The look on Charlie's face was one of complete admiration.

"Of course it is." He mumbled and flopped down on the bed, sprawling out to take up all the space like a starfish.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He stayed where he was standing, not sure what to do with himself. Sitting next to him seemed too presumptuous.

"Nothing, I'm just immensely jealous." He stifled a yawn and noting the empty space next to him, patted the bed, evidently meaning for Adam to come sit.

Against his better judgment he complied. His posture ridged as he sat on the very edge, trying not to let his mind wander to every though he had ever let into his head starting with Charlie not only being in his room but, quite possibly on his bed too. Just the recognition that the idea existed in his head was jarring. It was easy in the hazy place between sleep and consciousness to forget them, to convince yourself that they weren't there at all. He should know, after three years he was getting very, very good at it.

"Do you repaint your ceiling every year?" The blond glanced over at the other boy, frowning slightly.

"What?"

"It's just really white." Looking up he only noticed the cobweb in the corner. It was just a ceiling. Than again Charlie had a way of bring even the ordinary into question. It was too bad most people seemed to miss that about him. Everyone seemed to genuinely like him but, not a lot of people seemed to get close enough to figure out why. And it was all this, the little things like ceilings during the day and sharing a pair of gloves in the cold. More often than not, Charlie's musings were odd but genuinely fascinating. He couldn't remember the last time he had met a truly fascinating person, even if he was borderline stereotype. He made it charming. God he was probably the only person alive that could make Adam love and hate him in the same breath.

"Yeah, I actually have a maid and it's her job to repaint the ceiling every December." He didn't expect the bite in his voice to show through but, it did and he was immediately embarrassed. The dark haired boy rolled over onto his stomach, propping himself up on his elbows with raised eyebrows.

"Wow that pissed you off quick." Charlie didn't get it. He hated it when they treated him like he was a different species just because his parents had money. It wasn't like HE had money. And even though he had tried to get over the nicknames and comments, filing them away into the friendly and affectionate category it didn't change that when they met those same names had been purposefully hurtful.

"Why do you always have to bring it up?" He could practically see the wheels in his head turning, trying to arrive at the same point from the conversation they had been having.

"I don't want you to treat me different from everyone else."

"Banksie you ARE different." Quickly before Adam could derive the worst possible meaning of his come back he continued, snagging the other boys hand only to have it promptly yanked away.

"No don't, don't make that face." Charlie started to panic because this was suddenly careening down the wrong path at a break neck speed.

"I'm sorry, I just, I'm making it worse huh?" If he was to judge by the look the blond was sending him then the answer was definitely a resounding yes.

"Fuck I don't know, you're just, you. You're different. It isn't a bad thing. I don't know why you are so set on trying to be like everyone else. Everyone else is boring, everyone is just… they aren't YOU." He had talked himself around in circles, trying to not mess up this thing that they had. Adam uncrossed his arms and relaxed a little, running a hand through his hair with a sigh.

"Never mind Charlie." Usually the brunette would have just been happy to get off the hook. When ever they fought it would eventually reach a point where Adam would just withdraw his complaint and brush the whole thing under the rug. It was his way of dealing with things or rather, not dealing with them. But this time, Charlie really wanted to explain himself, to make the blond understand. He didn't want to lose the new found connection that they had established especially since it seemed like their friendship was wavering a little recently, under all the stress from school, hockey, and family.

"Can I ask you something?" When he shrugged Adam gingerly stepped out onto the already cracked ice they had suddenly found themselves situated on.

"Why are we friends?" That the shorter boy would even have to ask that question knocked the wind right out of him. Earlier that day they had been perfectly fine, how had it gotten to this so quickly? Charlie licked his lips, trying to put together some semblance of an argument that would merit the impending seriousness of the next few moments.

"I'm not even going to answer that." Adam rolled his eyes and gave him that look, the one that accused him of being a child and demanded he act like a proper adult.

"Charlie-"

"Banksie." Good god it was so hard to stay mad at that boy.

It was later that night, while they were watching the end of some horrible action movie Charlie had insisted on seeing that he finally answered him. Adam almost didn't catch it between trying to keep his eyes open and trying to maintain an acceptable distance between them. He had obviously failed miserably since half way through the film Charlie had decided he would be much more comfortable stretched out across the couch and consequently him.

"Because you're the only one who comes to find me."

"What was that?" There was no reply and for a moment Adam was sure he had imagined it. The next moment he was trying to make it sound as unromantic as he possibly could, honestly it sounded like something out of a teen romance novel. Not that he had read any.

"Your turn." Charlie wasn't looking at him but, Adam still found himself intently watching the television screen for the first time that night, hands suddenly sweaty. What had initiated his game of twenty questions all of the sudden?

"You never really gave me a choice." He knew it was a cop out. There were a hundred things that he could have said, should have said. He could have told Charlie how he was the only person he really trusted, how he would literally give up anything to make him happy because he knew that he would do the same with out thinking twice about it. He could have brought up the first day they met and how he was the only person that had been nice to him. How he had been selfless when Adam had fist made Varsity and been genuinely happy for him because he should have been. Maybe that was how he was stuck here now. Not sure what he wanted because he always chickened out at the last minute, when it really mattered.

"Damn straight, I get what I want." The half sarcastic tone was over powered by the yawn that stretched it out, marking the end of the movie.

"I can hardly keep my eyes open, call it a night?" Charlie nodded, standing to stretch before gesturing to the stairs, somehow managing to relay that he'd follow.

They had set up a sleeping bag before going downstairs but, after brushing his teeth and sliding into his pajamas Adam returned to his room to find the Captain curled up in his bed, having situated himself close enough to the wall to make it blatantly obvious he was leaving space for the first line center.

While his brain frantically sent off warning bells in the form of a steady supply of reasons this was a dreadful idea and would not end well, he sunk down onto the mattress, pulled the covers up and with out a word clicked off the lamp.

"Night."

"Good night Charlie."

It seemed like he had been waiting to say that out loud for his whole life.

As he followed Charlie through the woods behind his house he kept his eyes on the ground, anywhere to distract him from his best friend walking just in front of him in an attempt to convince himself everything was normal. The only problem with his endeavor was it's not like you forget about going to sleep with someone wrapped around you. Not that, that was exactly what happened. It had started with Charlie cornering the market on the blankets. With out really thinking about it Adam just shifted closer and wrapped them back around himself, too sleepy and cold to care how he came about being warm again. A few mumbled incoherencies later he had woken up with Charlie's nose pressed into his shoulder and arm tossed over his hip. Thank god he was still mostly asleep because there was no way he could have handled the situation if he had been coherent.

He contented himself with watching the sun chase shadows behind the trees, trying not to trip and fall as they made their way to the creek. This place was so different with someone he could relate to and liked being around there to share it. It made him glad to be home for the first time in a long time. It was easy to feel that way in the other boy's presence. Charlie wasn't concerned with what he looked like or proper table manners, he didn't care how much money his parents made or what he chose to do with his time. Just that he was happy. The blond wished he could say the same about his parents. Even though he knew they loved him, it was hard for him to assure himself that they really did. Sometimes it felt more like they loved the idea of him than who they actually ended up with.

"I can't believe you've never been out here Banksie, I would have killed for a creek near my house growing up! I don't think you could have dragged me out of it." He didn't turn around but Adam could hear how happy he was in his voice.

"I wasn't allowed out here growing up. Do you have any idea how many things could happen?" The look shot his way helped to collaborate the ever growing belief that he was in fact crazy.

"You could drown, get attacked by an animal, break your ankle…" He recited the list his mother had drilled into his head over and over when he had been younger.

"Yeah or you might actually oh I don't know, have fun?" By now they had reached the water and Charlie had sat down to pull of his socks and shoes and roll up his pant legs.

"Maybe you should just never tell your parents where I live, I think your mom might have a heart attack if she knew you skated with us where you might get shot or jumped or-" Adam shoved him playfully, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah okay I get it Conway, very funny. What are you doing?"

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just ask that." Carefully, or as carefully as Charlie Conway ever did anything, he waded into the little river.

"Well come on!" Adam shook his head but followed suit, knowing better than to argue and left his sneakers next to Charlie's on the bank.

They didn't get too far before Adam almost slipped, grabbing onto the Captains shoulder to steady himself.

"How is it your good at everything the first time you do it?" His foot hit another slippery spot and he jerked forward, trying not to fall in the water. Like always the other boy just laughed and rolled his eyes, never taking a complement seriously.

The pair didn't stray far from each other, mostly because Adam could ice skate much better then he could wade through a stream over slippery rocks.

Charlie found a spot where the water was deep and set about making a dam on one side of it, picking through rocks on along the edges to find the right shapes. He sent Adam to get handfuls of smaller ones to fill the cracks. He did as instructed, leaving the project logistics up to Charlie since he obviously had more experience in the whole 'fun things kids do' category.

"I wish we were friends sooner." The brunette looked up from where he was standing, knee deep in water and sweating from running around for the past few hours.

"I never did stuff like this when I was a kid. My brother wasn't really into it by the time I came around." Charlie waded over to where he had sat down, drying his cold feet on the sun warmed surface of a huge rock.

"Well we can do it now." He grinned, wiping the sweat off his face as he leaned into the shade, jeans now damp around the cuffs.

"You can check this one off your list, it's ready." Unaware they had actually been working toward a goal Adam looked back at the dam, trying to differentiate what could happen now that couldn't when they first came across the spot.

"What's re-" Oh god. He swallowed hard trying to remember what he had been about to say. The Captain had pulled off his T-shirt and tossed it onto the bank, smiling up at him like this was the best thing that could possibly be happening. His mind went a hundred different directions at once and something had just obviously disconnected because there was not as single coherent thought in his head. Sure he had seen Charlie in the locker rooms before but, out here in the sunlight and after last night it all sort of just came crashing down on him.

"Come on!"

"No, Charlie-" Before he could do anything to save himself the brunette physically dragged him toward the pooling water.

"No, no, no!" He was too close, to much touching and really he didn't think he could take this whole thing happening right now. He might be close to the same height as Charlie but, the other boy was stronger and despite his protests and best effort Charlie scooped him up, carrying him the rest of the way before crashing into the freezing cold water together.

He came up sputtering, the laughter was the first thing he heard and damn it he couldn't even be angry.

"You are dead." He managed between chattering teeth and lunged after the other boy, dunking him back under.

By the time they had traversed back toward the house they were muddy and cold but, Adam was the happiest he had ever been. He felt alive and real, like he was more than just a person trying to live up to everyone else's expectations. For the fist time in a long time he felt like he could want something for himself, just because. On the down side he was pretty sure that something was actually someone. He shoved the thought aside as Charlie caught up with him, turning to walk backwards through the yard as he did so.

"I had fun today." Blue eyes met grey ones and he smiled.

"Me too, it's been a while since I've heard you laugh so much." He watched the shorter boy carefully, hoping Adam didn't get up set. He wasn't as good at hiding his feelings as he may think.

"We should hose off out back." He led the way, arms wrapped around him self to contain any remaining heat and glad at least the sun was still out. The soft crunch of Charlie's feet followed him, under laid with the quiet sound of him humming a tune Adam couldn't quite make out.

They were almost clean when he handed Charlie the hose so he could rinse out his hair and it happened. Completely out of nowhere the brunette wiped some mud off of his face, thumb catching under the bottom of his chin and he kissed him. The gesture was over before he realized what exactly was going on and Charlie just smiled and proceeded to finish up with the hose, muttering a quiet thanks.

He blinked once, twice, did that really just happen? It couldn't have right? Because something like THAT didn't happen one second and everything just go back to normal the next. Even Charlie, who lived in everyone else's personal space didn't do something like that with no explanation. Adam swallowed down a thousand things he wanted to say because he didn't want to fight, if it was the only moment he would ever get he wanted to keep it safe. It just wasn't fair.

Mr. Banks always considered himself a reasonable man. That was part of what kept him and Adam so far apart the past few years. Unlike his father, Adam had no inclination to be reasonable but, rather he just wanted to be happy. When he had made Varsity he immediately wanted to talk to coach Orion and get his slot on the Ducks back. He hated the thought of not playing with them, they were his family.

In his fathers eyes it was ridiculous to even consider giving up advancing to hold onto a childhood fantasy when his dream of playing professional hockey could be one step closer to reality. So he had kept his mouth shut after the scolding from his father and played on Varsity with a group of guys who didn't like him and didn't want him on their team. He became one more thing for them to use against the Ducks, against Charlie. Finally at the end of last year he had gotten his way, reassignment to the Ducks. He would have been content with just that but he had managed to mended things with Charlie too. Revitalizing the only functional relationship he had ever been able to maintain with any sort of consistency. He made Adam normal, evened it all out.

Charlie was also an ever growing source of problems at home. For some reason his parents could always find fault with his best friend. It got to the point that he stopped talking about him or telling them he was going to hang out with him. He had no inhibitions about doing what he thought was right which usually got him into a lot of trouble.

If Adam had heard his father come home or even his feet on the stairs following the trail of puddles, maybe he could have seen it coming.

He was done with his shower and dressed, waiting in his room for Charlie to finish so he could put their clothes in the laundry. Despite trying to rationalize what had happened he found his brain stuck on the fact that he had just had his first kiss and it was nothing like he expected. He traced the pads of his finger tips over his lips, replaying the moment in his head. He kept telling himself that he should be pissed off. Charlie had over stepped a boundary and on top of that acted like he hadn't done anything. But what was he expecting him to do? It was just a kiss there hadn't been any hidden meaning, nothing romantic about it. If it had been anyone else maybe he would have been mad.

When the door pushed open, he expect it to be Charlie, not his father. The stern look on his face was enough to put the teen on edge.

"Dad, you're home early." Inwardly he winced at his response, hyper aware of how guilty it made him sound.

"What the hell is all over the floor?" They had, had enough of these conversations by now for him to recognize the danger in the calmness.

"Sorry, I'll clean it up." He moved to do so, only his father didn't let him pass.

"That isn't what I asked you Adam." Fighting back a sigh he stood up a little straighter out of habit more than respect.

"It's just water. Charlie and I were out side, I didn't want to track mud into the-"

"Who?" He pressed his lips together into a firm line, confirming with out a single word that he knew exactly who Adam was with.

"Look I said I'll clean it up. Excuse me." The last part was a bit forced but, he stood to one side and let the blond past.

"You know exactly how I feel about you spending your time with THOSE people. For school it is one thing but, who you choose to spend your personal time with-"

"Is my own business, it has nothing to do with you." He couldn't help but snap back. It was starting to get old, the constant disapproving looks and comments. Ten minutes before his father had walked in the door Adam had been so close to being happy. Now he couldn't get much further from it.

Smack.

"Of course it's my business!"

It had been a long time since his father had hit him and the contact left him momentarily stunned.

"HEY!" The pair spun around and there stood Charlie, hands clenched into fists.

"Charlie, it's fine don't-" But it was too late. He closed the distance between them in quick strides, standing directly in front of Adam with out a second thought.

"Get out of my house." Adam almost laughed and he probably would have if he wasn't afraid of what his father might do to Charlie if he didn't keep his mouth shut. When he wanted to that boy could make a nun swear. Of all the people for Mr. Banks to threaten, he had picked probably the least likely to care what he had to say.

"Dad, don't. He has nothing to do with this." Reaching forward he tugged on the back of Charlie's shirt, trying to calm him down. He was acting like he didn't get checked into the boards on a regular basis, like he hadn't taken a few swings at the blond himself last year.

"HE has everything to do with this." He pointed at him accusingly, like Charlie was the one who had redrawn the lines for the districts and single handedly convinced Adam to leave Varsity.

"Look I invited Charlie to stay here over break, I thought we could get in some extra practice and catch up on some course work. It's a little hard to practice hockey with just one person." Carefully he had placed himself beside Charlie, holding his hands up like he was surrendering. The last thing he wanted to happen right now, well it had pretty much already taken place but, he didn't want it going any further. This, he could salvage this.

His dad seemed to consider this, looking back and forth between the two like they were in on this whole plot to make him look like a fool. He'd already done that himself.

"Make sure you clean up."

Adam exhaled sharply, grabbing the towel he had put in the hamper after his shower with shaky hands as his father retreated down the hallway. Crisis diverted.

"I'll start down stairs." He wanted to get away for a moment to collect him self where no one was watching. To be honest he was a little embarrassed. His relationship with is father had always been stressful but, lately it seemed to be situated on the edge of an active volcano. So far he had been unable to pin point what exactly caused it, the best he could figure it was a lot of little things that had added up over the past year or so.

In his house it had always been very clear who was in charge and who had the final say. Now that he was older, it was a lot harder to back down and just give in. A lot of that strength came from being around Charlie all the time, he knew it had to be because before he had just been a scared little kid that lived for his father's approval.

"Banksie." He caught his arm as he tried to scoot past him, stopping him where he stood between the door frame and himself. Blue eyes refused to meet his. This wasn't something he could just let go.

"Are you okay?" God he just wanted to get away. All of the shut off feelings were starting to bubble up like they always did and the last things he wanted was to freak out in front of his best friend.

"That's the first conversation we've had since I left Varsity." The words tumbled out before he could stop them, before he even registered what he was saying. The realization was sharp like a knife between the ribs. The laugh that followed was borderline hysterical like it belonged to someone else entirely.

Charlie just frowned, wrapping his arms around him to pull him into a hug and shushed him gently when he couldn't stop whispering that he was sorry.

Practice had gone late, leaving them with little time to catch up on homework but, it was the weekend and they intended to treat it as such. Ever since taking Charlie home with him over their long weekend break, Adam had been sulky. He tried to keep up appearances but he had so much on his mind it was impossible. Since then he had created a long list of things he should have done differently, the main one being saying something, anything when Charlie had kissed him. He had analyzed the occurrence hundreds of times in his head. If only he had made up his own mind, then maybe this whole thing wouldn't even BE a thing. If for once he could just figure out what he wanted it would be easy to let the other boy know.

He glanced at the brunette where he sat on the floor, leaning back against his bed. They were again watching a movie because really what else did they have time for on the weekends? Most the other students went out, there was plenty to do in town and always some game or concert put on by the school. Most of the team had decided to go out and catch a movie in the theater, Guy and Connie were on a date somewhere, location only available on a need to know basis so it didn't get crashed. Still brooding over the whole Charlie thing, Adam had denied the invite and just opted for crashing in his room. Of course Charlie could never take a hint and tagged along. Not exactly the best combination for clearing his head but, still he was glad not to be completely alone.

"Did you start the math homework yet?" The movie had lost Charlie's attention. They usually did after a while.

"No."

"Well let me know when you do, I have a question on one of the problems." There should have been immediate red flags at the information that he had started his homework and Adam's was neglected on his desk. If he noticed it the other boy didn't say anything.

"Banksie?"

"What Charlie?" His focus remained on the television set until he felt a hand on his knee.

"Can we just, can we talk about it?" Was he asking about what he thought he was? Adam hoped he didn't look as freaked out as he felt. He couldn't really say no with out feeling like a complete jerk, they might not even be thinking about the same topic. Isn't this what he wanted? The whole thing cleared up? He had thought he did but, now he wasn't so sure. There was always the possibility that it was all a big mistake and honestly he didn't know if he could take that kind of rejection from the only person he really cared about.

"Talk about what Charlie?" The heavy sigh made the taller boy hesitant. The last thing he wanted to do was push Adam out of his comfort zone but, the blond wasn't even sure where that was. Anymore he felt turned inside out and exposed, raw and tight in a lot of places like he'd been laid out to dry in the sun.

"I wasn't aware there were multiple things we needed to discuss so I guess I'll just let you start." The sarcastic tone in his voice rubbed him the wrong way.

"Don't get snippy with me Conway." Adam wished he could keep his mouth shut sometimes. The last thing he wanted to do on his very sparse time off was argue with Charlie. Why couldn't they just watch the damn movie and get along for two minutes with out the world coming to an end?

"Sorry, I didn't mean that." The blond leaned back against the pile of pillows he had situated against the wall, pulling his knees to his chest. He never wanted to be this kind of person. Charlie watched him for a moment before positioning himself next to his best friend.

"I know, I'm sorry I always seem to bring out the worst in you. I don't mean to." He was being sincere which made Adam feel even worse for his momentary blow up.

"Ok just, let me go and when I'm done you can." When he didn't disagree the brunette took a deep breath and continued.

"I know I shouldn't have kissed you." Adam blinked, direct as always. The blond tried not to look completely devastated by the retraction of affection, he should just be relieved that he hadn't made it all up in his head like he was beginning to think he had.

"It wasn't fair of me to just assume you had feelings for me like that. I just, I wanted you to so I just-."

"What?" His ears were buzzing and he was one hundred percent sure he was also hallucinating. Charlie Conway did not just admit to having feelings for him. He must have passed out while watching the movie and be dreaming.

The Captain licked his lips nervously, avoiding his eyes.

"I should have just talked to you about it but, you know me, jump in with both feet-"

"Charlie-"

"I really, really don't want to lose you-"

"CHARLIE!" The pair stated at each other for a moment in silence, each trying to process their own thoughts.

"I'm not mad." The relief that crashed through the team Captain was evident enough to make the blond smile. Up until that point he hadn't been aware that he was so tense.

"I actually, it all happened so quick I wasn't even sure you had meant to do it and then you just acted like nothing happened at all. I was trying to come up with a way to ask you about it." He admitted quickly, glad to have at least that much gone over and filed away.

"I did mean it." The determination in the admission made Adam smile. Charlie never backed down. He saw everything through to the end and owned up to what was his. It was one of the things that made Adam love being around the other teen. He wasn't afraid of making mistakes or acting out. He did what he thought he needed to.

"I was kind of hoping…you would do it again, so I could kiss you back this time." The Captain laughed, the pressure that had been building defused with just a few words. Adam wasn't sure what had made him so brave to just come out and say it. Maybe it was the thought of not ever getting the chance to try, to see if what he felt for Charlie Conway was more than infatuation. Or maybe it was all the time he spent adjusting to the idea in his head as he tried to determine for himself what it was he wanted from the other boy.

"God I was hoping you would." Charlie caught his chin between his thumb and finger and tipped his head up slightly, waiting a heart beat to let him change his mind if he wanted to before pressing slightly chapped lips to the blonds. Infatuated might not have been a strong enough word. Adam disapproved immensely when the other boy pulled away but, let him do it.

"Sorry it took me so long to figure out." He whispered, willing away the blush he could feel creeping up his neck.

"It was worth it."

"Well I hope so, you stole my first kiss." The grin on Charlie's face could not have been any bigger. Maybe this was worth giving a try after all.

The End.

Hey guys, thanks for reading! Leave some comments and such if you feel so inclined. I would be up to doing a sequel if people are interested in reading it. Or I might just do one for myself.

If there is anything you feel got left out or not covered enough in this, leave it in the comments and I will do my best to write it into the next!