Title: Pain's Confusion

Name: MidnightzStorm

E-mail: daydreamgirl007@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters and Joss, Mutant Enemy, Greenwalt, and Greenwolf do.

Spoilers: Mostly all of the third season, with major spoilers of Sleep Tight

Rating: PG

I stare at the walls for the forth time. I suddenly remember the walls of my room; even though they are painted, I can see through them. Every word and drawing I wrote I can still see in my mind, I remember.

Listen. Listen. Listen.

I was waiting for the click, and still am. It's a little crazy, I know. But I was insane back then, and maybe still now. When the world would make sense, I would make sense.

I know who I am; I'm Fred. No, I'm not Winifred Burke. Just Fred. I'm only Winifred, when I am worthy of such a name. It's a dignified name, that isn't me. I'm silly, awkward Fred.

Maybe if I was Winifred, I could of seen between the lines, and saw what Wesley was going through something. Maybe I could have prevented, all of this from happening. The past few days have been very strange for all us. I just thought it was because Cordy was gone, or Charles and I started our relationship, but I was wrong.

Angel had grown irritable and jealous of Cordelia and Groo. After I got over my crush on Angel I could see his and Cordy's natural attraction for one another, I swore they were meant to be together. I feel horrible for Angel, but Cordelia seems happy and she deserves it. Also there is Wesley, he looked so sad and tired. I had no idea what was wrong, and I am still in the dark.

I don't know why Wesley kidnapped Connor, but I know he has logical explanation for it. Yes, logical and explanation is who Wesley is.

I remember hearing the words from Lorne that Wesley took Connor. I felt my heart skip a beat. And I swore my heart stopped when Charles and I found him. I can still see his body lying on the ground, with his hands on his throat, and the little pool of blood around him. Charles was as scared as I was as I felt him shake behind me. But he wasn't petrified like me; I could hear him telling the 911 operator where we were.

The ambulance came very quickly; I had forgotten that Wesley lived close to a hospital. Everything else was a blur, I recall Charles putting his arm around me as we got back into his car and drove to Drew Medical. We ran in to find that Wesley was in critical condition.

Now I am sitting in Charles' arms as we wait. I sigh and take in his scent, he always smells different, sometimes of leather, then another day of sweet cologne. Wesley always smells of old books and musk, of course in a good way. It's always constant, and now I realize will I ever smell that scent again?

What if Wesley dies this way, what if he already is. I try to hold back the tears, but it's no use, they come falling. Charles notices this and pulls me closer and whispers "It's will be alright."

But what if it isn't?