Chapter 1: The Lion's Shed Tears
Early morning rays swept across his face, making the boy's mouth twitch with the ghost of a smile. The newcomer watched the brunet for a little while longer, savoring the moment like a mental camera. The soles of his red sneakers made no noise as he walked toward the quiet boy.
"What'cha doing?" the blonde asked as he sat beside the solemn boy.
"Thinking," The silent boy replied, in his usual one word answer.
"About what?"
"Nothing."
"Come on Squall, you gotta talk some time, right?" he asked his brooding friend.
"Whatever," Squall quietly replied.
"Come on, don't do this to me. You seem sadder then usual, talk to me, maybe it'll help..." The blonde trailed off as he glanced at his friends face with wide eyes, seeing a single tear streak down Squall's face.
"Why 'ya crying Squall? Did I say something wrong?" he asked, watching in amazement as his friend shed more silent tears. This after all, was only the second time he had seen his friend cry. The first being when his mother died and even then he didn't shed as many tears as he was now.
"I did... I always do."
"I don't understand Squall, you have to talk more than that if you want me to help you." The usually hyper-active boy sat silently, looking at his friend cry helplessly. Afraid that if he touched him the dam would break and Squall would be out of control.
"I'm so screwed up it doesn't matter anymore if someone understands or cares."
"No, don't say that. I care. Quistis, Selphie, Rinoa, heck, even Irvine cares. We've cared forever Squall. But you can't seem to see that. Why... why don't you talk to anyone anymore? Why can't you ask for help?"
Squall stared off towards the calm ocean for a few moments before replying. "Because no one expects the 'Lion of Balamb Garden' to have feelings. And I've followed that example my whole life. Unfortunately, I'm really starting to think that I don't have feelings. I can't seem to smile, to laugh... It's as much of a surprise to me as it is to you for me to finally be able to cry. To actually weep, after all these years of holding it in, after always coming home and..." he trailed off, thinking he had said too much. He saw Zell fidget as the silence became uncomfortable.
"I know it's none of my business, Squall, but what do you do? Please tell me, let me help you." Zell turned his body around to face his friend. He still could see traces of tears down his face and a warning of more to come from the cloudy eyes looking at him now. Squall's eyes seemed to be searching for something in Zell's own electric blue. 'Maybe I'm the one being judged, not him.' When the brunet finally did decide to speak, he had turned his body to face Zell's, but had averted his eyes again towards the sparkling ocean beside them.
"When I come home from another day of deciding who lives and who dies, sending people out on missions, doing meaningless paper work and dealing with Rinoa... I can't take it anymore. The pressure, the eyes on me all the time -- watching. I come home and...hurt myself."
Zell barely caught the last few words before Squall's voice had gone quiet and hurried, as he buried his head in his leather clad hands. Escaped tears falling from between his fingers. He could see Squall's shoulders quiver slightly as he tried to hold back the sobs that were starting to overtake him. Without a second thought, Zell closed the distance between him and the brunet. He pulled Squall to his chest and wrapped his arms around the frail shoulders.
"It's okay to cry baby. Let it all out, I wish that I would have known earlier just how bad you felt about everything. Maybe I could of been able to help..." Zell's voice trailed off as he placed his chin on top of Squall's silky hair. He slowly rocked him back and forth, gradually he felt Squall's breath start to go back to normal. He waited patiently until Squall was able to speak.
"It's not your fault Zell.. No one could have known and I always made sure of that. I thought that if I told someone about my problems they would be disgusted. So you're the only one that knows about 'The Lion's' problem. And... I do want you to help me Zell. I just don't know-"
"Shh. It's okay, 'ya don't have to say anything. I'll try to help 'ya the best I can and I won't tell anyone else about this... if you don't want me to. Just, try not to keep all your emotions bottled up next time, if you need an outlet, then come to me. 'You know I'm here to listen to 'ya anytime 'ya want." Squall lifted his head from Zell's now soaked t-shirt and looked up into his eyes. It looked like he was searching for something again. Disgust? lies? But he appeared satisfied as he set his head back down again.
"You okay now?" Zell asked, breaking the silence after he and Squall had seemed content in just watching the waves together.
"I'm fine." Zell stood up carefully and extended his hand toward Squall. The brunet looked at his hand, as if there might of been a meaning deeper then just helping him up. And maybe there was, he thought, as he looked into Zell's eyes, seeing nothing but loyalty and tenderness. He sighed as he grasped the strong hand that pulled him up easily.
"Remember, use me as an outlet any time 'ya feel like it. Day or night, I don't care if 'ya wake me up in the middle of the night, if you have a problem, or just wanna talk, come straight to me, okay?" Zell smiled as he heard a hint of promise, mixed with happiness, in Squall's reply.
"Whatever."
They left the beautiful scene behind them just as the sun appeared beyond the horizon, the dark clouds of earlier seemed to shrink away from the light, but were not overtaken by it. No one else was witness to the Lion's tears, except for the seagull who sat on top of the pier, watching the two man journey back to the garden, laughing loudly, arms slung over each others shoulders.