Just your average day in my life…
In Pre Algebra:
Teacher: Book 10 14 is gone. It shall never see the light of day again. Well, in the classroom anyway.
Joey: Isn't that book 10 14?
Teacher: *Gasp!* it came back! It's aliiiiiiiiveeeeee!
In gym:
Dancing to "Baby" by Justin Bieber instead of playing dodgeball…. Now THAT was weird.
In Language Arts:
Sammie: Does anyone have gum?
Kid: You could check under the table.
At lunch:
Cassie: Oh! He's there! That boy right there!
Cameron: Which one?
Cassie: The CUTE ONE!
Boy: Who me? What the -?
Repeat over and over and over and over… just with different people.
In orientation:
Lee: Did you go to Japan?
Teacher: No. Why?
Lee: I think I saw you in a magazine there. It was a modeling magazine…
Teacher:…
Substitute: I just love this video, but the guy's Japanese belt is on upside down.
Lee: Why were you looking where his belt is?
In Social Studies:
Teacher: Kyle? Does anyone know where Kyle is?
Sarah: I've known him for several years, I'd be willing to be he's lost.
*pencil flies across room*
Teacher: Why is there a flying pencil?
Ellie: Lee threw it to Carson who threw it to Zach who threw it to Lee and the Lee hit me in the face with it!
Teacher: Lee!
Lee: What? What did I do?
Teacher: Does this innocent thing work with other teachers?
Lee: Yes.
Teacher: Who did you have?
Lee: A JERK!
Teacher: *points to flag* Isn't this just the coolest flag ever? What's cooler than a giant red dragon on your flag?
Lee: A giant GREEN dragon!
Teacher: Who was America named for?
Lee: Captain America!
Teacher: No.
In Study Hall:
My Best Friend: Psssst! Psssst!
Zach: What?
My Best Friend: My best friend thinks you're hot and wants to know your name.
Zach: *Gives my incredibly helpful best friend creeped out look* *Gets up and moves*
In Science:
The lesson on Nada the farting dog….
Teacher: This is Mrs. Darcy speaking.
*voice*
Teacher: Oh, sure what the heck.
*hangs up*
Lee: Soooo Mrs. Darcy… what are you doing tonight?
Teacher:…
In Advisor:
Teacher: If there is a fire, remember, be calm AND sane.
Shaun: What if we can't multitask?
Teacher: Be calm first.
This starts an epic debate on whether or not you can be quiet while being insane.
This is a memorable quote from this discussion:
Teacher: I don't care if you have an imaginary friend you're talking to in your head, just be QUIET!
Shaun: What if you can't be calm and quiet at the same time?
Teacher: ARGH!
On Bus:
An especially entertaining thing I did:
Sarah walked straight to the back of the bus, into the danger zone.
She plopped down in the very back seat and waited.
An eighth grader with blond hair walked up to her and said, "Dude, get out of Grant's seat."
"Why should I?"
"Why are you even back here, you little -?"
"I feel like it."
Sarah refused to move.
Grant, a kid about six and a half feet tall with red hair swaggered to the back of the bus.
"Why the- are you in my seat?"
"I felt like sitting back here."
Grant tried to sit on Sarah, but Sarah stabbed the cluster of nerves behind his left ear.
"OWWWWWWWWW! WHAT DID YOU DO?"
"Never mess with a girl."
He was content with smashing her against the window.
After a moment he said, "I rape little children."
"I do this to big children." Sarah said, and she pulled the hair on the nape of his neck as hard as she could.
"What the -? Is wrong with you?"
"What is it, Grant?" another 8th grader named Cara asked.
"She just –ing pulled my hair!"
"Only because he threatened to rape me!" Sarah said.
All the eighth graders started making fun of Grant for saying that.
Finally he said, "- you."
He said it.
And Sarah said, "- you." right back.
"Omigosh! She just said it!" all the older kids were shouting.
Grant stood up. Sarah stood up and stood on her tiptoes, not breaking eye contact.
Then she looked behind Grant.
Zach and all his jock friends were hanging out of the windows of the bus next to them in the parking lot, shouting, cheering her on, and dissing the eighth graders.
"That chick's got guts!" Zach shouted.
Sarah just grinned and gave a little wave to Zach.
"Never say Never." She whispered, and no one heard.
But the busses rolled out, and the perfect moment ended.
Boy: *Flicks hair* Hey shawty. Wanna go out sometime?
Girl: *Looks at boy like he just evolved from pond scum* *gets up* *Moves*
Boy: *turns to friend* You told me chicks dig the Bieber thing!
Friend: I said most chicks!
Boy: *gets up and moves*
Bus Driver: SIT DOWN!
So that's your average day in my life.
I hope you enjoyed!
Be back with more as soon as I get another day of school in.
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