Title: In his corner

Summary: Small O/S where Matt comforts his best friend over Bonnie's death. Set around 6x05-6x06. NO SLASH. Matt/Jeremy friendship. Mentions of Beremy and Jeranna. Matt and Jeremy BROtp

Disclaimer/ Note from the author: This is a fic request from my good twitter friend Shirley :) I hope I captured the essence of what you wanted me to write and I'm so sorry that it took me so long to do it babe. Love you! Paris xox

FYI: This fic was started when Bonnie was still stuck in the 1994 Prison World, so its set around 6x05-6x06 . Bonnie is obviously not dead, she returns home to Mystic Falls in 6x15 so I hope people don't get too confused when they read this.

Date Published: 25 May, 2015

© theboyfriend-and-theprettygirl, 2015

-x- For Shirley -x-

Insanity:

[noun]

1. The state of being seriously mentally ill; madness.

2. Extreme foolishness or irrationally.

-x-

For the last four months since his girlfriend Bonnie had died, Jeremy Gilbert had woken up every day the same way: hungover, depressed and with a killer migraine. Today was no different. He staggered out of bed groggily and quickly raided the Lockwood Mansion in search of some more alcohol.

He needed something strong. Something to numb the excruciating pain. Something to make him forget about her again...even if it was only for that temporary moment in time, when all he could think about was the way that the alcohol burned at his throat, instead of the emptiness he felt knowing that she was really gone.

Because she was gone. Bonnie was gone for good and she was not coming back this time. Damon had confirmed that yesterday night after he had somehow managed to come back from the 1994 prison world without her. Before Damon's revelation, Jeremy wouldn't have believed it to be true. Bonnie was a fighter. She was probably the strongest person he knew, so there was no way that she wouldn't have made it back to him if she could.

But hearing Damon's heartbreaking tale of her final sacrifice, must have somehow snapped him out of his denial, because today for the first time in four months he had nothing to hope for. Today was the first day that he had some sort of clarity. There was nothing anyone could do to save her anymore.

She

was

gone.

He felt his heart constrict painfully. She was gone. There was no more small glimmer of hope to clutch onto. He would never see his girlfriend again, the small voice in his head taunted him over and over again. Bonnie was gone and he would never see her again. With each taunt, he clenched his hands harder into fists. The urge to punch something consuming his whole body. Each day was a struggle; just getting out of bed was enough for him to want to give up. There was no more reason to fight without her.

Since her death he had thrown himself into heavy drinking. He always seemed to develop bad addictions whenever a loss came his way. When his parents died, he became addicted to drugs. When he lost Anna, he tried to overdose on pills just so he too could die. He was never really good at saying goodbye to the people he loved and he had said goodbye to a hell of a lot more people than most would lose in a lifetime. Maybe it was him? Maybe he was cursed? Everyone he ever loved had left him: His parents, Jenna, John Gilbert, Anna, even Alaric had left him for a time.

Jeremy opened the secret cabinet that Tyler used to hide his emergency alcohol and cursed loudly when he saw that it was empty. He walked over to the fridge and pulled the doors open, hoping for even a few beers to keep him going until he could find something strong to dull the pain. But there was nothing there.

Surely there had to be some kind of alcohol in the fucking house! He thought as he pulled apart the lounge room, lifting cushions and checking under the couches.

"TYLER!" Jeremy called out loudly. "TYLER!"

He had no idea what time in the day it was or if he was waking up his housemates at some ungodly hour, but he continued to call out loudly. Sarah Salvatore was the first to walk down the stairs of the Lockwood Mansion. Rubbing her eyes and wrapping a small robe around her petite frame, she asked him what was wrong. He had clearly woken her up with is calls but he honestly did not care.

"Where's Tyler?" he asked, ignoring her question.

"I think he said that he was going to hit the gym before class today."

"Of course he did." Jeremy mumbled sarcastically under his breath. "Where's Matt then?"

"I'm here, bud." Matt said, descending the stairs and coming into view. "What's all the commotion about?"

"Where the hell is all the alcohol?"

Matt and Sarah shot each other a quick look. "I'm not too sure. Why did we run out?"

"We had plenty last night." Jeremy hissed. He really hated whenever Matt lied to him. He never was really any good at it and he could read his best friend like an open book.

"Sorry, bud. It looks like we are all out." Matt said, closing a cabinet that he had already searched earlier. "You must have finished it last night."

"Don't play games with me."

"I'm not."

Jeremy rolled his eyes. "Whose idea was it to hide the alcohol? Huh? Elena? Alaric?"

"Jeremy, nobody hid anything." Sarah said cutting into the conversation.

"I'm letting you crash here, rent free while you reconnect with your family, you really shouldn't lie to me." he snapped. "Where is the fucking alcohol, Matt?"

"How about we get some exercise, aye? Why don't we go for a run?" Matt asked ignoring his question. "It might clear your head."

"I don't want to go for a fucking run. I just want to get drunk, forget that my girlfriend is dead and sleep the rest of this day away."

"Jeremy, we are really worried about yo-"

"You know what? Nevermind. I'll go and buy some more alcohol. I don't need anymore of this shit." he said, picking up his jacket from the couch and heading towards the front door.

As he walked towards the nearest liquor store, he felt a small wave of guilt wash over him. Matt was his best friend and deep down, he knew that his intentions were good. He shouldn't be taking it out on his friends. Nor on Elena whenever she tried to pick him up by taking him for runs. Nor on Damon for coming back without Bonnie. It wasn't their fault that Bonnie was dead. He didn't blame them, so he shouldn't be lashing out at them. His anger at loosing Bonnie had consumed him to the point of pushing away those closest to him. He had no control of his rage, his words, his outbursts. The drinking wasn't helping the situation any, but without it, he wouldn't have gotten through the last four months. So for that reason alone, he drank. He drank everyday until he passed out cold on the couch in the living room. He drank a glass for every time he thought of Bonnie, for every time he pictured her beautiful face or remembered a memory they had shared. He drank at the mention of her name. He drank whenever Elena asked him how he was coping. He drank whenever Alaric did his parent routine on him. He drank whenever Matt told him that he missed her too. And with every drink, he hoped that it would be the last. That this would be the drink that could carry him through until Bonnie magically reappeared on his doorstep one day, telling him that she had traveled through hell just to make it back to him. But everyday when he woke that day would never come. Bonnie was not at his doorstep proving how strong their undying love was. Day after day, he would wait and she would never be there. Day after day, he would drown his sorrows in alcohol.

What was that saying again? Insanity is doing the same thing over and expecting a different result?

-x-

"Come on!" Jeremy growled loudly as he punched in a few numbers into the keypad.

He had spent the day at the Grill drinking, seeing that it had been Matt's day off work and on the way home he had stocked up on some alcohol. He wasn't quite sure what time it was, but he figured it must have been late because the Grill had to ask him to leave so they could close up for the night.

"Come on! "DAMMIT!" he yelled loudly, almost smashing the phone on the pool table he was leaning over.

"Jer?" Matt asked, walking into the room. Sarah following closing behind.

"I keep trying to cancel Bonnie's phone but I can't without her pin. WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER HER PIN?!" Jeremy asked smashing the iPhone onto the pool table.

Shards of glass cut into his skin and he started to bleed, but the pain did not waver him. In a moment of anger, he smashed a few bottle of the new alochol he had picked up and started to pound his fists hard onto the pool table until they started to bleed.

"Stop it. STOP!" Matt said, coming from behind him and pinning his hands at his side, to stop him from hurting himself anymore.

"No! No!" he said, trying to fight of his friend who had him in a locked embrace. "Get off me."

"It's going to be okay." Sarah said, grabbing onto his bicep.

"NO, IT'S NOT!" he snapped quickly, shooting her a dirty look. "It's not...It's not." he said, fighting back the tears that were burning at his eyes.

Matt wrapped his arms tighter around Jeremy and pulled him in closer to him. Jeremy stopped trying to fight off his friend and just gave into the hug. He rested his tired head against his friend's chest and just wept. He had no idea how long he stayed like that, cradled in his best friends arms while he cried out about four months worth of tears and frustration. But he was thankful that Matt hadn't given up on him after everything he had put his friend through.

Bonnie was gone. He would never see his girlfriend again. But for the first time in four months, he had learnt something today...

When your whole world is falling apart, sometimes all you need is THAT one person that cares.

That one person that who will take you into their arms when you are broken and will give you strength to feel whole again.

That one person who has never left your side.

That one person that knows you better than anyone else.

That one person who is your best friend through thick and thin.

Jeremy knew that the road ahead would be difficult. There would be days when he would still had no reason to live, days when he didn't want to get out of bed, days when he didn't want to face the world...

But with a friend like Matt Donovan, he knew he would be able to make it through just about anything, because Matt would be there to pick up him and put him onto the right course whenever he fell...whenever he wanted to quit...whenever he lost direction.

Because at the end of the day, when you are broken and you are so close to giving up...all you need is that one friend that believes in you and is in your corner, fighting your battles with you, reminding you to never give up and Jeremy was thankful to have found that in Matt.

-x-The end-x-

Author's Note:

Shirley babe, I really hope you liked this and it was what you wanted. I am so sorry that it took me FOREVER to write. I know you have been waiting since November. I did start on this piece a few days after you asked me too, but I wasn't happy with how it was flowing so I guess I thought I'd come back to it eventually and then I sort of forgot. I found this a little challenging to write because I wanted to capture Jeremy's mental state of depression/denial/grief etc and I usually write love stories hahaha. Anyways, please leave me a review so I know what you thought of it. I really hope you enjoyed it, I'm kind of freaking out right now hahaha.

For everyone else, thank you for reading. Reviews are my favourite and they just take a second, aye? ;)

Paris xox