Conscious Thought
By Koneko Yuy
Disclaimers: Don't own Gundam Wing.... Don't sue. You'd only
get my muses. ^^
Author's Notes: I worry myself.... *whimper* Ok, I wasn't in the
best of moods when I wrote this. I wrote it in Phobos' POV, but I
suppose it could be Heero's as well. Yeah, I'm in a suicidal
mood. My closest friends are worried about me because of it.....
Narehendu: *softly* Ko already misses them extremely......
Ko: Hush, catboy.
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All I ask is for kindness, imperfection. I've seen enough violence to last me enough lifetimes.
You know, I never actively considered suicide. I always had training to fall back on.
It's funny.... I'm thinking so deeply all the while I'm cleaning my gun.
It's an older gun, really. The kind gunslingers had in those old Westerns. "Sixshooters", I think they were called.
It's food for conscious thought, anyway.
I stare down at my hand, at the gun resting so innocently in it.
I. Never. Actively. Considered. Suicide.
I have a life. Mine.
But still.
Looking from my spot on the floor, I can see my roommate's book. It's laying oh so innocently on her nightstand.
I get up to look at it.
"The Lady or The Tiger?" I whisper to no one in particular. "Hmmmm...."
I look down at the empty gun, still resting innocently in my hand.
I study it carefully, then down at my shorts pocket.
"Hmmm."
Funny. Never considered suicide.
It wasn't a normal conscious though.
I place a bullet in one of the six chambers, then close it.
One in six chance that I'll kill myself, huh?
Interesting food for conscious thought.
I bring the gun up to my temple, my eyes closing.
The lady? Or the tiger?
Conscious thought....
....For one who has never actively considered suicide.
My finger pulls the trigger.
The End
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Ko: I worry myself sometimes.....
Akoya: *studies Ko silently*