Nobody knew what the real Hogwarts was like. It wasn't about magic at all. It was a wizard prison. To put Hogwarts in glory, the evil Dumbledore created the Harry Potter movies. But the real Harry Potter died in the prison years ago!
Oh yes. This is all the truth. You never knew this, did you, now? Nope! This is a fact. Dumbledore is one of the most evil masterminds in the world of wizardry. His good old firebird was rare, and captured by Dumbledore, to capture the world.
Of course in real life the fire bird did try to save Harry, but Harry actually died in the real Hogwarts. Yep, Harry got bitten by the snake, and was killed instantly. Sadly the firebird pecked the snake's eyes out after the snake bit Harry.
Ron and Hermione are actually some very old teachers. They were husband and wife, but then they died because Voldemort, their dog, ate them down to the bone. It is quite disgusting, but it's the truth.
Also Ron had an interesting habit of collecting bon-bons from all over the world. It was all just because his mother gave him a list of things that rhymed with Ron.
Well anyway, in real life, Hermione is the dumbest girl in the world. Her hardest question that she ever asked was, "How do you spell cat?" Also she has an indigo colored wart on her forehead.
Last thing I wanted you to know was that Harry Potter is an albino, and that he has red eyes. He used to be a white turtle at SeaWorld.
So as you can see, Hogwarts is not at all what you're used to. If somebody tells you that they won a free magic session at Hogwarts; tell them to shut up, and buy the game LIFE at the store, so they can learn how to live. Well anyway, hope this article was informative.
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Thank you and goodbye! Sorry to all Harry Potter fans, but this article is 100% true*.
*It's fake. :P