I don't feel like reading my Advanced Potions textbook anymore.
In fact I don't feel like doing anything these days.
When she's around.
Especially when she's around.
In the beginning, it was just a tiny feeling in my chest. A skipped beat here and there when she looked at me. But now this feeling has grown exponentially unbearable, as though her mere presence gives me ten full blows to the chest.
I get up to leave; I can't take this anymore.
"Where are you off to?" she inquires. "Our exams are less than two months away, and if you think you can just..." She doesn't finish her sentence and eyes me curiously.
"What?" I grunt, making a futile attempt to project the sort of spiteful persona that kept us apart.
"Nothing. It's just..." She's a bit shocked, I see. After months of civility, I'm bringing back the rude, naive boy I once was.
"Well, spit it out." I roll my eyes. "I haven't got all day." The unfriendliness is too easy.
After a brief silence she opens her mouth. "Are you well?" Her words tumble cautiously as they land at my feet.
"Yes." I give her my best look of disgust. "And what's it to you?"
Granger's eyes narrow and pierce through mine for a moment before she relaxes her face and sighs. "Whatever. Do what you want; I don't care. I'm not your mum." Her voice carries a defeated tone, one not usually heard in her speech. An unfamiliar twist of guilt sprouts, and I find myself sitting back down across the table with my book opened to chapter nine.
"Malfoy, you really haven't been yourself lately. One minute you're decent and the other you're an outright prat. Are you sure you're alright?"
And how would she know me? Of course I'm not alright, Hermione. I don't have the privilege of calling you by your first name.
"Everything's fine. Really...I'm just stressed, I suppose," I mumble. I force the corners of my mouth to turn upwards, but it felt more like a grimace. I am in pain, after all.
"If it's about school, you shouldn't worry." She manages a smile. "You're one of the best boys in our year."
"Don't you mean "the best in our year?" I joke.
She snorts and rolls her eyes, just before patting my hand.
I know I'm not good enough for you, but I'm going to like you anyway.