The strongest man in Ikebukuro was wrapping up a very average day. His shift at the bar just ended and he was ready to go home. Listening to frenzied drunks all night takes its toll. It was raining, and Shizuo had a decent commute home, so he decided to take the train. Upon nearing the station, a loud yellow haired boy and a timid looking friend, both wearing Raira uniforms, ran by and cut Shizuo off, causing him to fall on his ass in the middle of a muddy puddle.

"The hell.. The fuck is this?" Shizuo screamed. "I work hard all fucking night and now I have to deal with this?" The loud one just laughed and continued running towards the station while his friend awkwardly apologized.

"Argh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to... I told him not to run but he never listens and... I'm sorry!" the boy blubbered. Shizuo, on the other hand, was not in the mood for listening to apologies. Remembering his brother's wishes, Shizuo responded as calmly as he possibly could.

"Please get the hell out of here before I ram that stop-sign up your-"

"SORRY! Umm.. Ok I'll just.. Sorry!" The boy sprinted off and caught up to his friend.

"I didn't even touch him. Not even a little scratch. What's gotten into me?" Shizuo picked himself up off the cold concrete and examined the damage. He wasn't hurt (as if a little fall would have any affect on HIM of all people), but he was covered in mud and had ripped a hole in his sleeve from where he caught his fall.

"FUCK! Fuck it all. God dammit. I should have killed that little bastard! If Kasuka hadn't told me to ease off the fighting..." Shizuo grumbled to himself. This was one of the shirts that his brother had gotten him when he got his job as a bartender. Kasuka was very dear to Shizuo so this shirt was of high sentimental value.

"The little bastards were headed for the train, so I guess I'll just walk home. Doesn't matter that it's, oh, you know, POURING RAIN OUT, I'll just go freeze my ass off," Shizuo said no no one in particular. It was about a fifteen minute walk from his current location to his apartment, so he didn't even make an effort to stay dry. The now cold and wet man pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and lit up. As his feet wandered down the sidewalks of the cold city, his mind wandered back to Kasuka. Kasuka had been gone for the past month shooting a movie in some foreign country and Shizuo missed him terribly. He would never admit that he has any sort of weakness, but there has always been weakness in Shizuo's heart for his younger brother. Although Celty is a great friend, Kasuka has always been the one that sees right through his bravado. Shizuo had tried to put a wall up to stop himself from thinking about his brother, but the thoughts would always return. Shizuo shook his hair and wiped rainwater from his face. He recalled the last time he saw his brother before his departure. Shizuo went with his brother to the airport. When it came time for him to pass through security without Shizuo, Kasuka dropped all of his bags on the floor and took his brother in a warm embrace.

"I'll miss you, Shizu-chan," Kasuka had whispered directly into Shizuo's ear. Shizuo was too shocked to speak. Instead he mustered a small nod of acknowledgment. Shizuo held his little brother tightly in his arms and only let go when the people behind in line yelled for them to move.

"Call me every day, alright?" Kasuka said in a voice that made his request sound more like a plead.

"Every day," Shizuo responded. Shizuo wanted to tell him that he would miss him so much. He wanted to tell him that he would thinking about him nonstop until his return. He wanted to hold him close and feel his brother's face nuzzle the crook of his neck like their hugs always wind up doing, because Shizuo is so much taller than his brother. He wanted to brush Kasuka's hair out of his eyes and tell him that he loves him, and more than anything, he wanted to hear Kasuka say it right back.

"Stop," Shizuo said out loud. "Stop thinking about him this way. He's your little brother for Christ's sake. What kind of pervert thinks these things about his own brother!" Shizuo turned up against the building next to him and pressed his forehead up against the wall. He punched the brick, screaming in frustration, until he felt blood trickle from his knuckles.

"This is disgusting. I'm like a pedophile. I AM a pedophile. He's younger than me. I'm a incestuous pedophile," Shizuo muttered. The strongest man in Ikebukuro lit up another cigarette. He started thinking about the first time he felt romantic feeling towards his brother. The night of Kasuka's high school graduation was the first time Shizuo had felt the cruel stab of love's dagger. Thinking about that night made him feel dirty and perverted. Shizuo shook his head.

"Fuck it all. I need to hurt someone. Where's Izaya when I need him?"

Chapter 1 is finished! Next chapter is about what happened on Kasuka's graduation night. It's already written, I just need to revise and edit it. It may be up tomorrow, since tomorrow is a half day at my school and I will have lots of time to work on it. This is the first EVER fanfic I have written so I'm sorry if it's not very good :( I don't think this fic is very good because I have a hard time portraying Kasuka's silent behavior accurately while still providing decent characterization but w/e. Also, I promise the only bit of Japanese that will be sneaking in my stories now and to come will be honorifics. I don't believe in abusing the Japanese language, but I do believe the honorifics add meaning to the story. No kawaii desu shit here.

Comment/Critique even if you hate it!