He weather outside the Institute was beautiful. The smooth summer air that was sweet perfumes of grass and fresh air demanded that all of the windows be opened to let the sunshine in. Most of the newer recruits were outside, playing in the pool or soaking up as much of the sun as they could manage. Jean and Scott were washing his car, enjoying the cold water and conversation. Kitty had gone to the mall with Lance. Kurt was out and about with Amanda. Rogue was reading next to an open window, thriving in the cool breezes that swept up her hair and pulled at her long sleeved purple shirt.
Obviously, this being the Xavier Institute and it being a pleasant day, something was going to happen.
Scott saw it first.
Scott lightly threw a sponge at the red head and she stopped it with her telekinesis before hurling it back at him. He ducked underneath it, laughing at her trick.
"Missed me, missed me!" He teased. "Now you gotta kiss me!"
"Maybe after you go get the sponge back." Jean snorted, smile playing at her lips.
"I'm holding you to that." Scott vowed as he jogged down the driveway to go get the sponge from where it fell.
As he started to bend over to grab the offending sponge, an elderly woman stomped onto the property like a force of nature, dragging an unwilling and loudly complaining young man behind her.
"Get out of the way before she kills!" The figure being dragged yelled.
"Uh-" Scott opened his mouth to say something but decided to take the advice from the screaming man… the woman was on a mission.
"What's going on?" Jean asked, walking up to him and watching with him as the woman dragged the man in the direction of the front door.
"Escape while you still can!" The man shouted again.
"Hush up y'. I'm still mad." The woman growled, speaking for the first time.
"Was that-." Jean asked.
"Yes." Scott answered.
"Why-."
"I don't want to know."
The woman dragged her complaining charge up the front steps and knocked loudly on the front door. The man was trying to break her grip on his ear, still protesting loudly.
"Woman!" He cried. "I don' have nothin' to apologize fo'."
"Don' y' be takin' dat tone wit' me, Remy LeBeau, or I will lay y' out 'til next Sunday." The woman next to him snarled, keeping the grip on his ear firm. "I di' not drag yo' sorry butt up from N'awlins jus' t' hear y' complain. Now, say what I told y' t' say or I will never make y' 'nother meal for de rest of y'r life!"
He paused a moment in his struggles to glare at her speculatively.
"You wouldn't."
"De hell I wouldn'." The older woman growled.
Remy groaned deep in his throat and tried to contemplate which was worse- saying an apology or living the rest of his life without Tante Mattie's cooking.
Tante Mattie's cooking won.
He snorted through his nose as a large blue creature answered the door.
"May I assist you, madam?" He asked eloquently before giving Remy a funny look.
"Homme," Remy tried to whisper subtly to the Beast man. "Don't tell her anythin'!"
"Gambit?" Beast looked down at the young man being dragged by the ear by an almost ancient woman.
"Shut y' mouth, Remy." The woman snapped before turning to Beast civilly. "I was wonderin' if I could be speakin' wit' dis Xavier man, someone called Wolverine, an'a chile named Rogue s'il vous plaît."
Beast saw Gambit mouth 'no' several times.
"Well, I-." Beast started to appease Gambit, but was cut off by the woman.
"Great!" She pushed her way through the threshold. "We'll wait right here while y' fetch 'em."
Remy groaned again. Mattie cuffed him.
"Stop wit' de groanin'." She ordered. "I wasn' de one dat told y' t' join wit' 'dose Acolyte fools, kidnap a little girl, o' skip out on savin' de world!"
Remy was about to make a snarky retort only to be cut off again.
"If de next words I hear out of y'r mouth arn' an apology o' a 'Tank y' Tante fo' being de best Tante in de whole wide world' I will tell Henri and Merci who blew up de bathrooms at dere weddin'."
Remy gasped.
"You wouldn'!"
"I. Would."
At that exact moment Beast herded an irate Wolverine, confused Professor Xavier, and mildly amused Rogue into the foyer.
"What is this about?" Xavier asked Beast.
"I haven't the slightest." Beast admitted. "But you try arguing with this woman."
Mattie let go of Gambit's ear and he immediately tried to haul ass.
"Remy. Etienne. LeBeau." She growled and even Wolverine shuddered. "Get back 'ere."
Like a trained dog, Remy returned.
She smacked him and then turned to the people also in the foyer. "De idiot I brought wit' me has something' to say to y'." She stated firmly and then stared at Remy expectantly.
"Je suis désolé," He started to say before Mattie smacked him again.
"In English." She ordered.
"Woman! Stop hittin' Remy!" He roared.
She glared him down and he scuffed his boots against the floor as he started again.
"I'm sorry." He said. The three this was addressed to stood (or sat in a wheel chair as the case may be) stunned.
"For-." Mattie prompted, hands on her hips.
"For tryin' to blow up de X-men on multiple occasions…and hackin' y' systems… I left security tips though…" He said.
"I noticed those." Xavier smiled. "Those were form you?"
Remy nodded.
"Anythin' else?" Mattie asked Remy sternly.
"An' fo' kidnappin' de belle femme so that I could use her to get mon pere back from a group of assasins who were going to kill him so that they wouldn' havta put up with a peace treaty, but I was in a little bit of a hurry an' didn' have enough time to come up with a better plan. …I did, however make sure dat she was safe and watched over." Remy continued.
"Annnnnd?" Mattie said.
"And I'm sorry for skippin' out on savin' de world because I was busy tryin' not t' get married. I figured if de world ended, den I'd still win." He shrugged. "Alright! Now it's time t' go." He started to turn out of the door.
"Y'r not done." Mattie said, not budging an inch.
"But I said I was sorry!" Remy complained, stomping back to the woman's side. "I don' see why I havta say anythin' else!"
"Are y' sayin' y'r doubtin' my words?" Mattie's face darkened and everyone in the room cowered. " 'Cause if dat's what y'r saying, I dink dat I might havta tell one Belladonna what exactly happened to her favorite pet rabbit when she was ten."
"You wouldn' …" Remy gaped at his mother-figure.
She only smirked in return.
"An' I would like t' offer my services as an X-man to make up for past sins!" He said hurriedly, not taking his eyes off the old woman.
Xavier's jaw dropped, Rogue nearly feinted, and Wolverine's claws were immediately on.
"Logan, calm down." Xavier ordered after a moment.
Xavier watched Remy mouth 'no' repeatedly.
"Well, I-." Xavier started to appease Remy.
"Great! He can start Monday!" Mattie interjected.
"No!" Remy knelt to the ground and pulled out tufts of his hair. "Tante, I don' want t' be an X-man!"
"Why did you ask den?" She looked genuinely confused.
"You threatened not to cook for me… and to tell Merci and Henri about the event that did not take place… and Belle about the rabbit that we're not gon' talk about…" Remy said, pained.
"Well, you shouldn' let t'ings like dat stop y' from getting what y' want." She said promptly before exiting out the front door.
"Somebody stop him! Quickly!" Xavier said urgently upon seeing that Remy was trying to charge his own clothes.
"Jus' let me do it!" He wailed as Rogue pinned his arms behind his back. "Make it ennnnd!"
"I can't…" Xavier admitted. "Apparently, you're starting Monday…"
-
This will be continued (maybe) as soon as I finish the other two stories I'm working on. I wrote it for giggles.