Annoying Assassins Are Fun
Chapter One – Enter The Game!
It's a Friday night sitting on my bed eating popcorn and pocky, I can't believe I'm home doing nothing but watching Jerry Springer and Opera. Even thought those shows are like awesome! I shove a handful of popcorn into my mouth "You go girl! Yeah tell him you want child support!" I mumble because of the popcorn. Jerry tells the lady that it is his child, I do a woo sound but I end up chocking on the popcorn. My face becomes red I look around for a drink, I quickly grab the nearest liquid but I end up coughing it up because it tastes strange. I stick my tongue out "Ma! Why does the water taste funny!" I yell through my door. She doesn't respond, I pout "Ma! I'm your daughter you have to love me and listen to my commands!" My mother opens the door quickly and leans in "What the hell do you want!" she screams at me. I smile looking all-innocent "The water tastes funny!" I tell her. She groans loudly "That's because you've been in your room, playing the stupid game!" she says pointing to the holy game. I gasp and I hold the game close to my chest "It's not stupid! Assassins Creed is the best game ever!" she wiggles her finger at me "What ever happened to that game, the people have crazy hair Oh Kingdom Hearts!" I stand up and I look out the window "Don't mention that game it brings back memories" I say squinting. My crazy mother yells, "Jesus Heather, your 17 you should be out!" I point a finger at her "You love me! Don't lie!" she slams the door shut a bang.
I look both ways before giggling, I sit on the floor and I put in the game. I get into a comfy position and I begin playing as Altair. About an hour into the game, I am an inch away from the screen "Damn, Jump Altair! Shit, run bitch run! Yeah take that you dick!" I scream. This is pretty much how I play the game, almost every night; my dog begins to nom on one of his toys I turn my head slowly and I glare at him. I grab the toy and I throw it out my window "Shut the fuck up!" I yell at him. My mom screams from the kitchen "Don't fucking cuss!" I throw my hands in the air "But you just did!" she pauses "I'm an adult!" I blink you know what I will let it slid this time. I feel my eyes betrayed me, my head begins to bob up and down. I open my eyes one last time before I drift to sleep, God damn it I wanted to see Altair fail at performing a leap of faith before I fall to sleep to late. I open my eyes to a see a bird looking at me strangely, I look back at it "Yo why you in my house?" it pokes my forehead making me yelp. I wave my hands in its face making it fly away. I rub my eyes, where am I this is so not my apartment, I stand up and I put on my headphones and I begin to walk around.
This is strange why do I feel like I'm not in America or even in the same year. I make a right to see a bunch of people with pots over their heads. Okay this is even getting even stranger, why are the men wearing dresses? I walk into the crowed; I can hear them whisper to each other "What is she wearing! Is she crazy? That young girl is weird" I smile to myself hell yeah I'm that awesome. I bump into a man by accident "Sorry dude" I can't hear what he is saying but from the look on his face he's screaming. I take off my headphones to hear him yell "Help me, she is hurting me!" what his deal? I wave my hands in his face "Dude chill out" He continues to yell "Oh someone help me!" I squint at him, that's it how will he like it if someone's screaming in his face. I yell too, people are looking at us strangely because well we are yelling like a bunch of crazy people. He stops yelling, and I stare at him "Dude seriously what was that!" he continues to stare "Why were you screaming at me?" his face looks sad like he's about to cry. My face is blank, I try to pat his shoulder he hits it away "Don't touch me!" with that he runs away like a little girl.
Then behind me I hear someone yell, "Stop you! We will have your head!" I groan oh God I don't like the sound of that. I start to run, pushing my way though the crowed "Excuse me, move your ass, nice beard dude, Oh my god move your fat body to the left thank you!" I tell the slow people in the streets. I climb up a stall were a person yells at me "Eh what are you doing! Your feet crushed my food" I chuckle "Sorry dude but I'm in a rush" I run along the roofs, I hear them gaining up on me then I see a man in white robes I glomp the man "It's Jesus, help me! I beg you!" I cling to the person for dear life as they try to wiggle me off "What! Get off me peasant!" I hear his hidden blade pop out, I crawl onto his back like a cat "Help me!" I beg at him. I see the man's face oh shit it's Altair, the crazy blood thirst killer, doesn't listen to rules because he is so badass Altair. I fall of his back and he pins me to the wall with his hidden blade at my throat "What is your problem?" he growls at me pushing more force into my neck. I claw at his hands "Gah, let go Altair" his eyes go wide "How the hell do you know my name!" he yell at me. I give him the If you let go of me I will tell you look, he lets go put keeps a firm lock on my shirt. I gasp for air "That isn't how you treat ladies" I say pointing a finger at him. Altair gives me the death glare "Well ladies I know don't dress like that, now tell me how you know my name now!" I take a deep breath "Altair…" I take a long pause "I am your father" I give him the dramatic chipmunk stare.
I shouldn't have said that because the hidden blade comes right back at my neck "Don't foul around child!" he hisses at me. I pout at him "I'm not a kid! I am 17!" he looks at me strangely "What are you?" he asks disgusted. I smile and I point to myself "I'm Heather! Light as a father, I can tell you the Weather" he scans me up and down "You are not as light as a father" my smiles turns into a frown "You're an asshole! As anyone ever told you that?" he chuckles, Oh sweet mother of KFC he laughs oh I feel pretty awesome right now since I made him chuckle "No because anyone who says that will die a painful death" and the awesomeness feeling fades away into darkness. He steps towards me with his hidden blade ready, I hold up my hands "Wait wait! Dude back the fuck up!" he looks at me strangely "What? Is this dude in which you called me?" um I better think up something "Oh it means, uh it's a good thing, please don't kill me!" I cling to his leg. He growls, "Get off!" I shake my head clinging even more "Say you won't kill me!" he groans, "I won't kill you" I look up at him with my big blue puppy eyes "I don't believe you, say I promise I won't kill you Heather because you are awesome and that your are the unicorn queen" he looks at me like what the fuck are you on woman! Then the guards see us "Stop assassins!" he pulls me onto his back and he jumps to roof-to-roof getting away from the guards. I cling close to him and I sing, "I believe I can fly! I believe I can ride an Altair! I-" he cuts me off by making a sharp right turn almost making me fall off his back. I fix myself "Oh Altair how I be-" he cuts me off again by making a sharp left. I growl at him "Do you mind I am singing a song!" he shrugs "Your singing is not very good" he says frankly. I roll my eyes "Duh of course not, I can sing you know" I say proudly.
Altair looks back "Yeah sure you can" he says without any emotion what so ever, I glare at him "If only you had the side bang, then I could call you emo" he ignores my comment, we reach a place with the Assassin symbol on it. I giggle "This is the assassin's bureau that only means Malik is here!" I do a little dance. Altair looks at me surprised "How the hell do you know that!" I think for a moment "I know things Altair .Things" I give him a look to make him back up a little bit "Your strange for a lady" he says to me. I make a huffing sound "Who said I was a girl" his head snaps foreword "What! You're a guy!" I giggle, "Nah I'm just pulling your cut off finger Altair" I pat him on the back before jumping down landing on the pillows roughly. I groan when Altair lands on top of me making it hard to breath "You fat ass!" I yell at him. Then a man walks out from the room.