I'm writing this as a response fic to Amnesia Nymph's "No Room For Love".
She wrote a little drabble about Michiru's feelings towards Haruka and it moved me to make one of the opposite.
This is the reverse: Haruka's feelings towards Michiru.
I hope she doesn't get offended, I thought it may be nice to see two sides of one whole.
Feedback is welcome and appreciated. violintides at hotmail . com
"Staying Loyal"
By
violintides
Loyalty is a word I drown myself in every day that I think about her; loyalty to my heart or loyalty to my Princess. I would not be here if it wasn't for her, Michiru Kaiou. She is my goddess, my other half, my only. I pretend, I deceive, I flirt, and I lie, but who doesn't? I know she hates it when I do all those things, but loyalty to the Princess and the mission comes first.
Surely she understands why I must choose loyalty to the Princess above all. I'm sure she understands why we must put aside our feelings for the important mission we have been deemed with. I'm sure she realizes just how much I love her and want to be with her even though it is just not possible right now. She shouldn't need to understand though. I should be able to hold her, to comfort her, to tell her I love her. To let her know everything will be alright.
My heart does not understand why. I've tried time and again to convince myself that it won't matter. Just be with her, just pretend like everything's the same. We made a promise to each other. I would kill her if she had a talisman. She would kill me if I had a talisman. I know, though, that if she were to have a talisman, I wouldn't do it. I never could. I lied the moment I promised that I would. I love you in every aspect of the word, my mermaid; how could I ever hurt you? The answer is that I cannot. I could never harm a single beautiful curl on your head. I'm so in love with you that I never would be able to do anything to harm you.
Why, then, do I continue to torture myself so? Why do I not just be with her? Every time I ask myself that, I am answered by the senshi in me. Sailor Uranus screams that my Princess is more important than my selfish love. I keep telling Michiru it will be okay, that we will be together one day. Is it true? I don't know, but I hope for it every day of my life. I hope for it every minute that passes by that I am not holding her, touching her, kissing her.
I run a hand through my hair. I feel little splashes of raindrops on my hands and face. I am leaning against my car, standing at the edge of a bridge. She is staring across the ocean. She is silent. Is she lost in thoughts like me? I can't help but stare at the way the howling wind brushes her hair against her creamy white face, the way her sapphire eyes stare at the ocean, as if longing for something or someone. Is she thinking of me with that mournful look on her face? Am I the one who is making her eyes water so? I pretend not to notice. Feelings must be pushed aside for the mission; the mission that causes my love such pain.
That has become my life: the mission.
...I hate the mission.