Title: I Am Sorry
Author: Eeevee
Genre: angst
Rating: K+ for dark themes
Disclaimer: FMA is not mine. If it were, Hughes would still be alive. He was fun!
Challenge fic: Song: "Live Like You Were Dying" by Tim McGraw. Rules: None. Random selection by my playlist #2 of 5.
"I am sorry."
Those were the first words that passed her bloodless lips. Her dark eyes searched my face, not looking away. I'd never known her to run away from anything.
I had wanted a smile.
That's okay.
I know she had nothing to be sorry for. If anything, I should have known the blackness and uncertainties weighing down on her heart. It was my fault; I should have said I was sorry.
"I am sorry."
I wanted her to stop. I couldn't stand to hear those words coming from her mouth. She was proud woman. Words like those shouldn't pass her lips so meekly.
Placing two fingertips over her chapped lips, I begged for silence. Her face was so pale and lifeless, almost like a waxen doll. Shadows had covered the light in her eyes. They coated and smothered, never letting loose, even as I tried to chase them away.
The doctor was amazed. He said it was a miracle. She shouldn't even be alive with half a stomach and fused intestines. He said if the heart had been involved, she would have choked on her own blood. I liked thinking that the heart wasn't taken because it was already someone else's property.
Alchemy had never been of interest to me; I deserved to pay for my ignorance.
"Water?"
She shook her head slightly, staring at the wall behind me.
…It was only a matter of time.
The almost casual words echoed numbly in my mind. When the doctor told us, she simply nodded. She accepted it. No, she welcomed it.
Was it selfish of me to want her to hang on?
Now alone, I rolled her wrists gently around in my cool palms. My usually steady and sure hands shook slightly, but she didn't notice. Or if she did, she didn't say anything. The hands were so slender. It always amazed me how she could fight or create with such small, delicate fingers. Tracing the spidery veins up her wrist to her elbow and then up her arm, I started when she spoke.
"We will never have a child now."
"I know."
"I am sorry."
"I know."
She paused, "I am dying."
I couldn't say it, so I just nodded silently.
"I saw things…" She trailed off uncertainly, "…Things no human should see."
I squeezed her hand, letting her know it was okay. Things would be okay. She hadn't died yet. I wouldn't think about that. Until then, things would be okay.
A/N: I think I just wrote my first drabble. Inspired by last week's Adult Swim episode, which I just happened to wake up for (apparently Inuyasha isn't interesting anymore now that Bankotsu's dead). Angst-y stuff isn't the usual. Apologies for any OOCness.