A/N- I feel odd... I have a need to write a depressing one-shot.
Disclaimer- I don't own Okami or Teiku 5
Who knew that I would die like this?
So alone.
So afraid.
So... gone.
I was dying by the hand of the woman that I loved.
Amaterasu.
The most amazing woman that I have ever met, lulling me closer to me death by the moment.
I lay upon the ground, blood surrounding me, pooling around me.
She held a sword, one that I did not recognize.
Upon it, however, was my blood.
I watched as my blood dripped off and Amatersu's chest heaved, her eyes full of hate and pain.
"...Why...?" I managed out.
She laughed, and yet there seemed to be no humor in it.
"With all the pain you have caused me, how do you not deserve to die, fool?" She demanded afterwards.
I could not answer.
It was almost too true.
I had caused more pain to the great goddess than any other man.
I had taken her heart and ripped it in two.
I had been the most cruel person that she had ever known.
I deserved to lie here in my blood, dying.
And so, I smiled.
"I am... glad... your face... is the last... I shall... ever see... my... love..." I whispered, then coughed out some blood.
She suddenly collapsed next to me, sobbing.
"I hate you!" She shouted, repeating that dreaded line over and over again.
It was her turn to make me hurt.
I breathed slowly, feeling tears come to my eyes.
"And yet... Amaterasu... I... could never... hate you..." It hurt even to speak that much.
She stood up, wiping away her tears angrily.
"Die alone!" She snapped.
And so my dearest love left me.
My vision began to blur, and not just from death coming to get me.
She hated me.
She had every right to hate me, too.
I just wish she could remember all of those good times we had together, and not just the bad ones.
I looked around at my surroundings, the surroundings I was to die in.
From the rage that Amaterasu had, she had burnt all of my surroundings, and some of it was still on fire.
The only other color besides that, was red.
Red.
Why?
I was to die with all being black and red.
I was to die with my clothes on fire, burning my legs.
Black.
Why?
Such a sad color.
My mind turned to the song that I heard once when I was small.
I was unsure as to why it did, but it seemed to fit so perfectly that I couldn't let it go.
Even though it was written for a girl to sing, I sung it anyhow.
"Collapsing on top of the cold grass
I want to hide my burning body
These mid-winter constellations are my lovers
I have been waiting all this time
My mood today is the highest
Like the sky that has no despair nor hope
I want to be translucent
If we do not meet, we won't fight
With no chance for disillusionment
The wind that is like a knife
Helping to increase my speed
Take 5
What version of myself makes me happy?
Like the sky that has no success nor failure
I want to be translucent
Take off my coat and step inside
With no beginning and no end
I want to live this day we call today honestly"
Tears sprung in my eyes.
Take five.
After I had heard that song, the person who had been singing it died.
For no obvious reason, she just died.
Take five.
Did that mean I was to take a break and just leave this world?
Oddly enough, that sounded okay right now.
No family.
No friends.
No lovers.
I had nothing.
I looked towards the sky, feeling a sudden irrational happiness.
No.
It was not all black and red.
There was blue, too.
Blue was such a calming and beautiful color.
Maybe, if I was lucky, instead of seeing just black when I died, I could see blue, too.
What exact version of myself did make me happy?
This one.
The one with nothing wrong.
The one who could be innocent.
The one who was free.
The one who was me.
I want to be translucent.
May the sun flow through me.
May the moon flow through me.
May all the lovers of the world feelings come to me.
May I be a passageway to a better thing.
If I never see Amaterasu again, we shall never fight again.
There will never be any more pain.
I won't feel fear.
I can run forever, if I'd like.
The wind will pass through me.
It will be the knife that gives me no pain.
It will be great.
I can stay here forever.
Death isn't bad.
I would be fine.
I could take five.
I could take five and be okay.
Nothing could hurt me anymore.
My mood is the highest today, and never shall it be higher.
I lied there for hours.
The sun left me.
The moon embraced me.
The stars are my lovers.
I can stay here forever and never feel hurt.
I can see my mother.
I can see everything.
I am eternity.
I am never.
I am love.
I am hate.
I am translucent.
I am going to take five.
No one can take that away from me.
No one can take anything away from me, anymore.
I cannot feel hurt.
I cannot feel fear.
I cannot feel anger.
I cannot feel love.
I cannot feel hate.
I cannot feel warm.
I cannot feel.
What is it that makes us happy?
No one's death means anything.
It's just someone gone.
Enjoy life.
Life is something that everyone has.
There is no chance for disillusionment.
There is no failure.
There is no success.
Amaterasu taught me this.
I have learned.
After all this time.
I finally know.
I want to be honest.
I am honest.
I have told you what I know.
My life is at it's end.
I no longer see any point in telling you anything.
One day, however, you shall see.
You shall know what I know.
You will feel the things that I have.
You will collapse on the grass and yell your story to the heavens.
You will be the one to know.
I know you will.
You will understand.
I believe that I will see blue.
I can almost see it know.
I wait for it.
I wait to embrace these feelings of no pain.
I smile.
It's here.
One day.
One day you shall understand.
One day you-
DEATH.
I am dead.
A/N- Read and review, no flames.