I've never felt like much of a life-changer. I've always just kind of been there. It wasn't until about two or so months ago I found my first opportunity. Lunch hour had just started and I really needed to pee. I know, too much information. As I approached the bathroom, I heard some masculine grunts and feminine groans. I considered going up to the upstairs bathroom, but I really, REALLY had to pee, so I just rushed in. Sometimes I wish people would just screw in their own homes, but if these two had waited, I'd never have experienced true growth. There in the bathroom, front stall wide open, was Kenneth McCormick. Screwing my best friend, Bebe Stevens.
"God dammit, Kenneth." I say. "This again?"
Yeah, that wasn't the first time I'd walked in on dearest Kenny the Slut. Last time he was doing Red.
"Fuck, did I leave the door open again?" Kenny grumbled, pulling his pants up.
Bebe turned bright red and pulled her red sweater back over her shoulders.
"You always forget to close it. You do this too much, Kenneth. I think you need help." I casually leaned up against the wall, even though I still REALLY had to pee.
Kenny sighed, buttoning his pants and joining me by the sink. Bebe ran off, still bright red in the face.
"I guess I'm lucky it's only you. If Stan or Kyle or Cartman found me in here I'd never hear the end of it." He said quietly.
"Dammit. You don't have to do this all the time, you know. It's not like it helps anything. Your family's still in debt, you still don't have enough to eat every night, your brother's still dead. Having sex in the bathroom doesn't fix anything."
Kenny instantly deflates at the mention of his dead brother. He may not have been very close to Kevin, but it still hit him pretty hard to hear he'd been in a car crash after a party. That was when it got worse.
"I know it's not going to bring Kevin back, Wendy."
"But does it really help you? Does it make you feel any better?" Kenny sighs and looks at the floor, downtrodden. "Yeah, I get it. Okay, meet me at Stark's Pond this afternoon. I really have to pee right now."
Finally Kenny leaves and I run into another stall, mulling over everything that just happened. The boy's had sex with every girl in our grade. I only know this because I'm not one of them. This is the second time he's been with Bebe. Strange that Kenny McCormick, the king of deflowering girls or, 'Lord of the Vag', as Craig calls him, refuses to even try deflowering me when he's done everyone. That sounded a lot less perverted in my head.
God dammit.