His eyes were closed and his breathing was even yet he could still hear them from so far away in his comfy tree branch. It made his heart ache, made his stomach churn, caused him so much pain to hear those two giggle and whisper sweet nothings to each other as if he weren't even there. Which, made sense since they didn't know.
"…flowers were just beautiful, Tadase!"
"They reminded me of you, Amu-chan, since you said you liked them in the shop the other day."
"Eh? You remembered; ah, you're so thoughtful!"
The pause in conversation was short but it was long enough to let Ikuto know that the lovers had kissed. It made him angry but he had no right to interfere. Why should he? They were getting married in a few weeks anyways, fresh out of high school. He was twenty four and they were, what nineteen now? Marry young…had it really been seven years already?
Time really flew by for the Guardians but it seemed to drag on in the Tsukiyomi family. Utau's career had lifted a few years prior to graduation and she was a sensation in America especially, but she became saddened when she could no longer visit her beloved brother and ex-boyfriend turned good friend, along with her other best friends. Their father had passed away to a sudden heart attack the previous year and their mother had become ill in her depression.
And Ikuto, well…the violinist had certainly become popular with not all reasons being for his music. He was a big hit with the ladies it seemed, much to Utau's annoyance. (She would never admit it, but there was still a small part of her that would always be jealous of any other girl in Ikuto's life.) His own music career should have taken off as well, and it did for a short time, but he could no longer find himself wanting to play. It had been a strong desire years before because it had reminded him of his father and of happier times, but recently, he simply had no motivation to pick up the bow or even play piccato anymore.
And he knew why.
The girl with the pink hair and red blush, the girl never afraid to hit or yell at him, the girl who had helped him in his time of need despite being on opposite sides (technically), the girl that had haunted his dreams, his reason for living despite her always being underage, the girl whose scratchy singing voice made his heart jump and string break, Amu Hinamori, didn't love him.
The girl he would die for, wait forever for, didn't love him.
Ikuto smirked. What was the point of life anymore? His father was dead, his mother was all but dead, his sister was never around anymore, and his childhood friend-turned-rival had gotten the only girl he truly loved. His one true passion, the beautiful violin he would almost never be caught without, wasn't his love anymore and his new love wasn't his.
"It's going to start pouring, Tadase; we should hurry or we'll be late and make everyone worry…oh, I didn't bring my umbrella and it already started raining! Ah, well…"
"Right, shall we be going…ah, watch out Amu! Are you alright; I'm sorry I didn't catch you…"
"No, no it's fine! It's nothing really; I just slipped!"
"Your clothes are all wet, Amu. We can stop by your house and have you dry off first."
"No, it's fine."
"Are you sure? Okay then! Let's go; Nagi and the others will get worried."
"Ah, my clothes really are wet; it's really cold!"
"Don't worry; it'll dry off."
The blond haired boy smiled gently with a hint of concern and worry laced in but all his fiancé did was smile, if a bit strained. His concern vanished and a true grin broke out as he reached for her. A slight blush formed on her still innocent and young face, but her sparkling topaz eyes shone with slight disappointment.
Ikuto shook his head as the couple walked past his tree. "She wants you to hold her and get warm, you baka," he whispered. "She wanted you to be her hero and give her a reason to hug you when you caught her…though, you lucky bastard, she shouldn't need a reason at all." Tadase didn't understand how lucky he was, having the privilege to call a girl like Amu Hinamori his.
As they locked hands, the neko felt something in him stir and he frowned before silently jumping down and making his way back to his apartment.
…
It wasn't big at all, really simple actually. It had a living room connected with the kitchen, a single bathroom, and one bedroom. It wasn't grand but it wasn't like Ikuto expected to have guests over anytime soon.
He tossed his keys onto the counter, kicking off his shoes as he walked, and allowed himself to sprawl over the couch. His charming blue eyes landed immediately on the photo on the bookshelf. There, was the one picture Yoru had gotten right, where Ikuto had kissed Amu on the cheek before he left to search for his father.
The picture always succeeded in getting a true, rare and genuine smile from the mischievous feline. She always looked innocent and cute but the surprise on her face at his lips so close to hers always made her look even more adorable.
Would it make him seem like a stalker to have a full album of pictures that Yoru had secretly taken when he had stayed with her? The little cat had always asked why he never confessed to Amu seriously and Ikuto would always reply, "She cares for me, but not in that way. Besides, she has the kiddy king".
Ikuto took his eyes off the treasured photo, the ringing of his phone catching his attention. He smiled slightly; the ringtone was the secret recording he (or rather, Yoru) had taken of twelve year old Amu's singing that day in the gazebo. He knew he should have moved on years ago but everything reminded him of Easter, and that made him remember his Guardian Character (as if he could ever forget the outgoing troublemaker), and that reminded him of the Dumpty Key, which reminded him of the Humpty Lock, and that reminded him of Amu. In a sense, everything reminded him of Amu because she never left his head.
Ikuto sighed as he picked up his phone, flipping it open and pressing it against his year. A cool yet slightly raspy voice that somewhat resembled his greeted, "Yo".
A sigh was heard on the other line. "You were thinking of Amu, just now weren't you?" It was Utau.
"How did you know?"
He could almost hear the smirk on his sister's face. "Ah, Ikuto…it's no secret you're obsessed with her."
"I'm not obsessed," protested the blue haired boy. She laughed lightly. "What did you want, anyways?"
"Can't a girl call her brother without wanting anything in return? Why would you think so lowly of me?"
"Because I know you."
Utau sighed. "Oh, alright. I'll be returning to Japan for a few days…for well, ah…"
Ikuto understood immediately. "You got an invitation to their wedding."
She sounded surprised. "You knew? Of course you knew; how could I think you didn't. Did you get an invitation?"
"This is Tadase we're talking about; what do you think?"
"I don't have to go…"
"No, go…Amu will want you there anyways."
"It says we can bring a guest."
"Utau, it's fine. I'd probably make a fool out of myself by confessing or something."
His sister remained silent for a few seconds before saying quietly, "Promise you won't do anything stupid alright? I know you Ikuto; if she wanted you to drop dead because she was worried you would ruin her day, you would without a doubt." He heard the tears in her voice. "Please, don't do anything okay? We'll see each other in a few weeks and I'll knock some sense into you if you do, alright? Ikuto!"
"Okay," he stated. "Don't worry; it'll be fine." It sounded automatic, they both knew it, and they also knew he was also trying to reassure himself rather than her.
"…I love you, Ikuto," she whispered before hanging up. He slowly pulled the phone away from his face and stared at the blinking image of his sister until it turned black before he shut it and sighed.
"I won't do anything stupid," muttered Ikuto as he walked towards his bedroom. "It would ruin the mood of her wedding if she found out, which she would."
…
It was the evening before the wedding. Everyone had flown into town, from all over to see the long awaited joining of the cute couple. Of course it was long awaited; it was only natural they were going to get together.
Ikuto was walking through the busy streets, his violin case slung over his shoulder for the first time in weeks. Only, he wasn't planning on playing. Utau had tried her best, bless her heart, but she couldn't change his mind. He planned on selling it. It carried too many memories, memories that were too happy and sorrowful. Mostly though, it reminded him of Amu and the sadness she had felt when he had become the Death Rebel. Being the reason for her sadness, Ikuto would always hate himself.
He passed by two girls, both young (probably in high school) and very attractive. He didn't give them much thought until he heard one squeal loudly in fright, a deep male voice saying something leeringly at her. Her friend tried to call for help but was cut off by another male grabbing her.
Ikuto tried to fight instinct, which was to turn and rescue those girls, for the last time had tried to play hero he had gotten injured and made Amu worry. Yet, he couldn't help but cringe at his cowardly act. Those guys were much larger than him and despite his abilities; they would no doubt resort to weapons which would lead to fatal blows.
He shut his eyes and told himself to keep walking; the music shop was just a few blocks away.
The girl screamed.
Ikuto spun around and was nearly there when he froze. The large, burly man had been ready to physically attack the girl but was being blocked by another. Not her friend, but a certain pink haired bride-to-be. A fierce look was on her face.
"Back off you creep," she exclaimed, finally attracting the attention of the nighttime shoppers. Her eyes were cold, something he had only seen when she was fighting. "I think it's pretty obvious you're not wanted here." The two guys looked startled at her sudden appearance, their would-be targets quickly fleeing at the wave of her hand, but their lecherous grins quickly remade their way to their faces.
The man who hadn't thrown the fist pulled a knife out and said to the crowd, "Stay back; anyone coming close will get their throat slit by yours truly."
The first man stepped towards Amu, jeering, "Ah? Think you're so tough, hm cutie? I wasn't expecting you to come in but next time, you won't be able to get away. Let's go for a ride, sweetheart." Amu remained where she was but now her face of confidence was wavering, the slight tension in her shoulders gave it away. He leaned in and she spit in his face. He stumbled back in surprise, wiping the saliva off with a fierce look. "Damn you, bitch!" He smirked. "I guess we'll have to do things the hard way then." His hand shot out to grab her but a look of pure shock appeared on his features when another hand grabbed it by the wrist, inches away from her face.
Everyone turned to the newcomer, no one more surprise than Amu when she saw the boy from her past. His expression held no emotion but anyone could see the pure fury in his blue eyes.
"I believe the young lady asked you to leave," he said smoothly, shoving the hand back at the man.
"Who the hell da ya think ya are?" He shouted, throwing another punch. Ikuto swiftly dodged it, grabbing him by the wrist again and twisting it so it was behind his back. He firmly pushed him to the ground, not looking up as he backwards kicked the second man's knife away from his grip. It scattered into the streets. The second man charged but Ikuto merely moved to the side and let him trip over his companion, falling over him just as the police arrived.
"We'll take it from here," said one of them as the one checked on Amu and others checked for witnesses. Ikuto nodded and picked up his violin case from the ground before he began to walk away.
He wasn't even down the block when he heard, "Ikuto!"
The blue haired man paused, glancing over his shoulder as Amu caught up with him with heavy breathing. "Hm?"
"Why…why did you save me?" She breathed, huffing when he continued to walk. "Hey, I'm talking to you!"
"You never grew up, did you," remarked Ikuto offhandedly. She looked startled. "I saved you because I could. I wasn't going to stand there and let you get hurt."
"No, I mean," stammered Amu. "No one's seen you for years, Ikuto…we all knew you were still here but…"
Ikuto glanced at her. "I've always been around; you just never noticed. Anyways, congratulations to you and Tadase." No point in irritating her. She looked surprised. "Tomorrow's the big day, hm?"
Her face was bright red in embarrassment. "We would have sent you an invitation but we didn't know where you lived or…"
"Don't lie to me, Amu; you and he both know that you could have simply called Utau and asked for my number or such. It's fine."
Amu looked down, whether it was in shame or embarrassment or just from the feeling of awkwardness, Ikuto didn't know. Finally she asked, "How have you been doing?" Her voice was quiet.
"Fine."
"Are you going to play somewhere?" She sounded hopeful, as if she missed him playing. Ikuto ignored the thought; why would she care whether he played or not?
"No."
"Then why do you have your violin?"
There was no point in lying to her, really. "Selling it."
Amu gasped. "But why?"
Ikuto shrugged. "I don't play it anymore; there's no point in having it." It was the truth, not all of it, but the truth.
"Don't sell it," she cried. He glanced at her.
"Why should you care what I do with it?" It hadn't meant to come out so coldly.
"Because I miss hearing you play!"
"Sorry," was all he said. Amu looked ready to cry. "You should head back home before Tadase and your family begin to worry. You have a big day tomorrow."
"What can I do to stop you?"
"Nothing; Utau already tried."
"I said, what can I do to stop you?"
Ikuto looked at her, taking in her rosy red cheeks and tear filled eyes. Her hand was clutching his sleeve desperately. He pulled it away gently and rubbed the tear away from her cheek. She never took his eyes off of his and from the way they widened it slightly, he knew his emotions betrayed him. She knew. Finally, he pulled away and said, "You can't do anything, Amu. I've already made up my mind. Go home and enjoy your life with Tadase, okay? My troubles shouldn't be related to yours anyways."
"Ikuto," she whimpered as he began walking away from her. Her sobs would haunt his dreams that night.
…
Ikuto was a mess the next day. He didn't even bother to change, happily content with his pajama bottoms and nothing else. It was lucky for him he didn't work today.
He felt like a zombie as he poured his morning coffee, his thoughts still on the empty spot near his bed where his violin used to be and on Amu of course. His thoughts were always on Amu. He tried to straighten his thoughts.
His sweet little Amu was getting married today and to his rival. He wasn't even invited. She knew of his feelings and the general area where he was. No doubt she would find him and try to confront him.
Ikuto sighed; he needed a vacation. He decided to go to the old amusement park. The chances of her even remembering were small, especially on such an important day. He went to his room to change.
…
She looked beautiful; everything in the room was magnificent. Tadase had been thrown out by Rima and Rikka. Her gown would be the talk for years. Yet, she felt icky inside.
Her thoughts still lingered on the mischievously perverted cat with good intentions, only, he didn't resemble that part at all. He had been so serious, so detached, so…not-Ikuto. She couldn't believe he sold his violin. It troubled her. Why when he was so incredibly talented? He clearly loved playing it as well.
There was a knock at her door and Utau slipped in, wearing a beautiful black dress. She took a seat next to the bride. They were silent for a while.
"He sold his violin."
"I know."
"I tried to stop him."
"I know."
"He saved me yesterday."
"I know."
"He loves me."
"I know."
"Everyone knows, don't they? How he feels, I mean."
"Yeah."
"How long?"
"Long before he left."
"Am I stupid?"
"A little."
"Am I doing the right thing?"
"Do you love him?"
"…I don't know."
"What do you see when you're with him?"
"Content and satisfaction but never happiness."
"And with him?"
"Annoying but never enough."
"You know the answer, Amu."
"Would it be wrong?"
"Not if your heart wants it."
"He's hurt; how can I make him believe me?"
Utau smiled. "Be yourself. Not Miss 'Cool and Spicy' or energetic Ran or clever Miki or cute Su or even radiant Dia. Be all of them, be you."
Amu bit her lip but she was smiling as well. "Can you tell them?"
The older girl squeezed her hand. "Sure thing; you go and get him." Amu nodded and hiking up her skirt, she ran out the door. Out of the church and ran exactly where her instincts told her to go.
It was closed today so it would be empty. Perfect for a heartbroken boy. First, though, she had to make a quick stop. She had taken three lessons but it was enough.
…
Ikuto sat in the pink teacup, still not moving even after the lights had shut off, remembering the first time he had brought Amu here and how she had begged him to ride one with her. It was the first time she had truly opened up to him, sharing her secret as to why she was always Miss Cool and Spicy, always taking one for the team.
They would be leaving the church by now, probably with arms connected since Tadase was nowhere strong or smooth enough to carry her. Rather, they would probably both stumble down and look like a pair of idiots when their clothes got tangled as their faces grew red.
He looked up in surprise when the lights suddenly whirred to life, the cups slowly moving around. The cheesy music was loud and the whirl of the machines moving weren't helping but he still heard it.
The sound was scratchier and the notes were jumbled but he recognized it as the tune he had always played for her. Ikuto leaped out of his teacup and raced towards the sound, freezing in his tracks when he saw Amu.
She was still wearing her wedding dress, glowing with beauty despite even with her little tongue poking out as she tried to remember the notes while struggling to hold his violin under her chin. He raised an eyebrow, failing to hide his smirk.
She hadn't noticed him yet so he walked behind her and placed his hand over hers on the bow. Her eyes widened in surprise as he played for her. She allowed this until the song ended, him gently pulling it away and putting it in the case.
"I was supposed to play for you," she complained once she recovered. Ikuto smiled.
"You did, and you were awful," he deadpanned and she stuck her tongue out at him. "I always think you're beautiful you know, but this is really the icing on the cake." Amu blushed, the silence somewhat awkward until she gazed into his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Ikuto," she blurted. He looked surprised. "Sorry, for not noticing your feelings and being so stupid! I love you, Ikuto, and I'm such an idiot for not realizing it sooner!" Tears formed in her eyes. "You waited for so long; Utau told me you never loved anyone else! That you would wait for me to grow up! Oh, Ikuto, I'm so sorry!" She burst into tears, falling into Ikuto's warm embrace. "I'm so, so sorry!"
"Amu," he said huskily into her hair, holding her close. There were tears forming in his own eyes. "It's alright. Shh," he said, pressing a finger to her lips when she tried to protest. "It is alright because you're here now. Besides, I would wait forever for you."
"I love you, Ikuto," she whispered into his chest. He kissed her forehead softly.
"I love you too…Amu," he replied.
From afar, Utau and Nagi exchanged joyful looks before heading back to the now wasted wedding. They had to tell the others they won the bet, after all.
…
I do not own Shugo Chara.
This was my first attempt for Shugo Chara so I apologize if it's, you know, suckish. It's also different from my normal writing style, so again, sorry. Yes, Utau is not dating Kukai in my story. Nothing personal against them but I just never saw them together. And no, she's not dating Nagi either. He was just there because I had a feeling he would know Amu's feelings more than Amu herself.
Okay, I'm done. Goodbye. Please let me know how I did. If you don't, fine. I'm happy you read my story anyhow. :)