Faithful - Chapter 1 - Sorrow
"Miroku! Miroku, no! Noooooooo!"
Sango screamed, pure agony resonating in her voice as she struggled against Inu-Yasha's iron arms. The wind whipped around her at frightening speeds, tossing her hair in her face as she watch her one love disappearing into his very hand.
"Mirokuuuuu!" she screamed again, tears of frustration and pain flowing down her cheeks. "Let me go to him!" she cried, clawing at the hanyou's arm. "Let me die with him!"
As suddenly as everything had started, suddenly it ended. There was a final flash of light, and then Miroku was gone.
Sango gazed at the spot where he had just been, the reality of it all not fully registering. Beside her, she heard a smothered whimper from Shippo as he buried his face in Kagome's shoulder, and a mournful howl from Kirara as she bent her head back to the sky.
"Sango… I'm sorry", she heard Inu-Yasha's gravely voice whisper, and then her world collapsed.
Her legs buckled under her, and only Inu-Yasha's arms kept her from falling. She clutched a hand to her chest, trying to hold together the tattered edges of the hole where her heart had once been, and gave a keening cry. She felt hands trying to steady her, to lift her, but she clung to the ground, beating it with her fists and begging the gods why. Soon the hands ceased to pull at her, but instead soothing ran across her back, and Sango found herself weeping in the arms of Kagome.
"Sango," the girl whispered, her voice wavering, "we have to go. It's getting dark, and we'll freeze if we stay out here. Please Sango, please come with us." Sango gave one shuddering sigh, and allowed herself to be lifted to a trembling stand. She heard Kagome and Inu-Yasha conversing, and then two strong arms scooped her up and began to carry her away, away from the place where her death began.
Kagome watched as Sango sat by the window, lifting the reed cover to stare at the snow covered ground outside.
"Sango please put the mat down; the cold creeps in." Kaede's voice could be heard over the quiet burble of the cooking pot and the murmur of hanyou and youkai voices.
Sango gave a small sigh and lowered the mat, her dark eyes falling to the ground before meeting anyone else's. Kagome rose and came to her friend's side, gently brushing her arm to get her attention. Solemn, pain filled eyes greeted hers, and Kagome felt a flash of sorrow twist in her heart. It had been a few months since Miroku's death, and still Sango gave no signs of recovering.
At first, the taijiya had only wept, building a small gravestone to mark her lover's last point on earth. She would visit his monument every day, bringing offerings and prayers. As time passed, she withdrew more and more, becoming lifeless, a shell. Now she spoke barely a word, and did only what was required of her. Kagome worried for her friend, afraid to go home lest Sango forget to eat, or turn to the suicidal tendencies that she had shown before in her dealings with Kohaku.
Kagome swallowed the aching in her heart, and gently took Sango's hand, trying to ignore the boniness of it.
"Come on, Sango, it's time to eat."
…
Sango allowed herself to be lead by her friend, kneeling down to sit with everyone else. All her actions were stilted, absent-minded, as if she were not really there, as if her body was merely a clay doll that had no soul. What was the point of acting graceful? Who was there to appreciate the poise of every action, the fluid motion of every pose? He was not here, he would never be here again, and without him, there was no reason. There was no reason, not even to die. He was not in hell; he was in the abyss of the kazaana. There was nothing.
Something was held before her, and she vaguely noted that Kagome was trying to entice her to eat. She did not care what happened to her, but Kagome did, so she would eat for her, at least until her mind returned to its familiar path and brought her back to its numbing pain. Then she would not eat. Then she would return to the window and look out to where his grave was. No, not his grave, his marker. He did not even have a grave. He was gone.
…
Kagome watched as Sango sat, her meal lying untouched in her lap. A small bite was missing from her rice bowl, but that was all the evidence the taijiya had left to show that she had eaten her evening meal. Sango was slowly dying, and there was nothing Kagome could do to stop it. Slowly taking a bite, Kagome began to cry.
Even as she cried, Sango did nothing; she simply continued to stare at the fire. Shippo and Kaede looked up, the little fox demon reaching over to softly touch her arm, a worried expression on his young face.
"Kagome?" asked Kaede. "What be wrong with ye?" Shippo put his bowl down and stood up, his small hands resting on her arm as he gazed up at her.
"Kagome?" he asked, mirroring the old priestess.
"I'm sorry," Kagome replied, and then she set the bowl down at fled outside, still wiping away tears.
"Kagome!" called Shippo behind her, but she refused to turn back.
Outside, the air was cold and crisp in winter's heavy grip. Her breath formed clouds around her, and she rubbed her hands along her arms as she whisked through the village. She regretted leaving the hut without her coat, but she couldn't go back there now. She couldn't go back and see Sango's lifeless, hopeless eyes. Slogging through the snow, Kagome found herself heading toward the place where Miroku's marker sat in the lonely landscape. She slid down into the crater left from the decimating power of the kazaana and came to a stop beside the stone in the centre. Her breath freezing in the air, she stared down at it, wishing with all her heart that the monk was there, even if it meant his hand was somewhere it didn't belong.
Kagome brought her hands to her face, trying to wipe away the tears that hadn't stopped. Seeing his grave did nothing to ease her pain, nor Sango's. She missed him dearly, and she missed the smiles the two would share more than anything else.
"You'll get sick if you stay out here in the cold, wench," a rough voice rumbled. Kagome turned to see Inu-Yasha standing behind her, her coat thrown over one arm. "Here," he said, thrusting it at her. "Don't be so stupid." Kagome took the coat, slowly putting it on. Inu-Yasha came to stand by her, his arms crossed as he looked down at the marker.
"Sango's… not getting better, is she?" he asked quietly. Kagome sniffed and gave a shuddering sigh.
"I don't think so," she said. "Nothing I do reaches her. She doesn't eat, she doesn't sleep… she won't even look at me half the time." Tears began to fall from Kagome's cheeks once more, landing softly on the bitter snow. "I'm afraid that if I leave her, she'll do something drastic, that she'll… she'll..." A choking sob escaped her lips, and Kagome covered her mouth, trying not to cry. Inu-Yasha looked on her in silence. Slowly her turned away, hands tucked into his sleeves.
"You should go home," he said. "You're getting sick – I can smell it. You'd better go home so you can take that cough syrup stuff and get better. And Sango… If it'll make you go home, I'll make sure Shippo takes care of her – I'll even set that old hag on her, if you want. Just go home, okay? I need you to get better quickly so we can keep hunting jewel shards. Damn human wench."
Kagome looked over at Inu-Yasha, taking in his long silver hair and bright red kimono. She nodded, wiping away her tears. She walked up and stood beside him, not looking at him. "Thank you," she whispered, and set off to the village to gather her things.