Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter stuff, but I do own my antlers. :)
A/N: Much thanks to Xoe for the idea! *tips antlers to xoe*! so anyway, this is from the point of view of the book Hogwarts, A History. So, all, join METMA (Muggles for Equal Treatment of Magical Articles)! if you haven't already, its 2 sickles, and you get a badgie and lots of e-mail! plus your helping a good cause!
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I used to have a nice, quiet life on the shelf. No one read me, I just sat there, talking to my chums "Hogwarts Hotties" and "How to Tame Blast Ended Skrewts". My spine was so covered with dust that my title was barely recognizable, and that was how I liked it!
And then one day....one day a girl came. She had read nearly everything else IN the library...cracking spines here, and tearing pages there. I had hoped she would skip me....but no, her grubby little hands grabbed me and I was on my way. Yeah, "Hogwarts, A History" was on the misadventure of a lifetime.
Okay! Now, EVERYBODY! I'm speaking here for all boooks, but especially for me. We...Need...To...Be...Held...Correctly!! I mean, Hermione stuffed me into her backpack with 10,000 other slimy things upsidedown! That made all the ink rush to my head! And believe me, it is not pleasant!
Another thing. Eating is one activity, reading is another. PLEASE, PLEASE don't try to do both at once! Hermione spilled tea on my pristine pages, and now I'm afraid to face my friends....especially "Hogwarts Hotties". And if tea wasn't bad enough, she had to spill crumpets as well. *sarcastically* Oh yes, now I'm a meal fit for a king.
Ugg. You wouldnt' BELIEVE the stuff I had to go through with that girl! She read me how many times? 3? 4? 5? Well, I lost count after she ripped one of my pages. I was too busy crying... Her constant reading has worn the edges of my pages down! I can't even give a decent paper cut!
My only savior has been the librarian. Her one month rule will soon have me returned to my shelf. Actually, I believe that's where I'm headed now! Hmm...what's that the little she-devil's saying? She wants me RENEWED?!?!
Can anyone point me to the nearest book burner?
***
A/N: Aww, poor little bookie, Hermione ish mean to him! Please go check out my other fics, kay? Please? Anyway, review, and join METMA (I'll need your e-mail address), or I will be forced to sic a book that CAN give papercuts on you! Oh, and I'm wearing my antlers again! ($5 at Old Navy, guys!!) :)
A/N: Much thanks to Xoe for the idea! *tips antlers to xoe*! so anyway, this is from the point of view of the book Hogwarts, A History. So, all, join METMA (Muggles for Equal Treatment of Magical Articles)! if you haven't already, its 2 sickles, and you get a badgie and lots of e-mail! plus your helping a good cause!
****
I used to have a nice, quiet life on the shelf. No one read me, I just sat there, talking to my chums "Hogwarts Hotties" and "How to Tame Blast Ended Skrewts". My spine was so covered with dust that my title was barely recognizable, and that was how I liked it!
And then one day....one day a girl came. She had read nearly everything else IN the library...cracking spines here, and tearing pages there. I had hoped she would skip me....but no, her grubby little hands grabbed me and I was on my way. Yeah, "Hogwarts, A History" was on the misadventure of a lifetime.
Okay! Now, EVERYBODY! I'm speaking here for all boooks, but especially for me. We...Need...To...Be...Held...Correctly!! I mean, Hermione stuffed me into her backpack with 10,000 other slimy things upsidedown! That made all the ink rush to my head! And believe me, it is not pleasant!
Another thing. Eating is one activity, reading is another. PLEASE, PLEASE don't try to do both at once! Hermione spilled tea on my pristine pages, and now I'm afraid to face my friends....especially "Hogwarts Hotties". And if tea wasn't bad enough, she had to spill crumpets as well. *sarcastically* Oh yes, now I'm a meal fit for a king.
Ugg. You wouldnt' BELIEVE the stuff I had to go through with that girl! She read me how many times? 3? 4? 5? Well, I lost count after she ripped one of my pages. I was too busy crying... Her constant reading has worn the edges of my pages down! I can't even give a decent paper cut!
My only savior has been the librarian. Her one month rule will soon have me returned to my shelf. Actually, I believe that's where I'm headed now! Hmm...what's that the little she-devil's saying? She wants me RENEWED?!?!
Can anyone point me to the nearest book burner?
***
A/N: Aww, poor little bookie, Hermione ish mean to him! Please go check out my other fics, kay? Please? Anyway, review, and join METMA (I'll need your e-mail address), or I will be forced to sic a book that CAN give papercuts on you! Oh, and I'm wearing my antlers again! ($5 at Old Navy, guys!!) :)