Deidara sat glaring over his breakfast cereal in an early morning fog. The cause for his bad mood was sitting across the table from him, reading the newspaper. Oh, how Deidara hated the man who had once beaten him. He took sadistic pleasure in the fact that the missing leaf nin was forced to use his sharingan to perform such a simple task. That still didn't make him like Itachi. Since he was unaffected by the show of annoyance Dedira went back to his breakfast before the cereal got soggy. As he finished the last of his cereal and picked up his cup of Darjeeling tea. That would dispel the hazy fog in his head and possibly improve his mood, slightly. He savored the delicate taste of the tea. Just as he was about to finish the end of the cup he heard a sound that he had been dreading.
"Hi DEIDEI!" Tobi bounded down the stairs. Before Deidara could lift the cup to his lips Tobi glomped him across the back of the chair, rather effectively pinning him. Tobi rested his chin Deidara's shoulder. "Morning, Itachi," he greeted the Uchiha cheerfully. Itachi pointedly ignored him. "Fine then, be that way." Tobi's voice sounded petulant but his overbearing chipperness returned as soon as he turned his attention back to his partner. "Wat'cha doin' DeiDei?"
"What does it look like, you moron? And what the Hell do you think you're doing with my hair?!" Deidara demanded as Tobi began to play with the topknot.
Tobi ignored his partner. "DeiDei-chan's hair is soft and pretty. Don't worry Tobi is a good boy." Deidara didn't find that reassuring.
"Look, Tobi you idiot, If you want to play with someone's hair play with Itachi's," Deidara told him flatly. Deidara smirked as Itachi stuck his head out of the newspaper with some alarm and glared at the two of them.
"Don't even think about it," Itachi said.
"But DeiDei-chan, Itachi-sempai has scary eyes," Tobi whined as be burrowed his head in the crook of Deidara's neck, knocking his mask askew in the process. "And DeiDei is prettier than Itachi-sempai."
Realization of what was running through Tobi's head suddenly dawned on Deidara. "Damn it Tobi what do you think you're…" What he was going to say next died in his throat when Tobi planted him a wet sloppy kiss on the side of his neck. Shocked as much as outraged, Deidara shot straight up with enough force to snap the back off of the chair and elbowed Tobi into the wall. "The Hell!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. "I'm a man dammit! M-A-N! Man! I know you like girls. You flirt with every pretty waitress on mission. Even some not so pretty girls. But still, they are girls!!!"
"Then it's your fault for looking so much like one." Itachi commented dryly as he raised the newspaper shaking the new page. "And Tobi," he added as an afterthought voice dripping venomous sarcasm, "If you are that desperate, I suggest putting a personal ad in the paper."
"That's a wonderful idea." Tobi ran over to Itachi and gave him a quick hug and flipped his ponytail. He leapt back as a kunai whizzed right through the spot his heart had occupied less than a second earlier.
Deidara smiled as he heard a muffled groan from Itachi as the overly exuberant Akatsuki went literally bouncing off the walls to inform the rest of their rising comrades about the idea of writing newspaper ads.
Things were already looking up.