Well I decided to take a short break from writing for Sick (Check it out and review!) ((Update coming soon!)), after I heard the song "Because you live" by jesse mccartney on my ipod i instantly knew i had to write something in edwards pov. this song fits perfectly, well i thnk so!! tell me what you think!! please?
I do not own twilight nor this song, if i did i would be a millionaire...wishful thinking.
Because you live
Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart
It's the end of the world in my mind
Then your voice pulls me back like a wake up call
I've been looking for the answer
Somewhere
I couldn't see that it was right there
But now I know what I didn't know
I remember that day perfectly, the scenario still etched in my mind. The day Bella came into my life. Before I met her my existence seemed meaningless, only keeping myself alive for my adoptive family. I lived in silence, keeping to only my family, for humans seemed so petty, finding comfort in trivial things.
But how I long to be human. To live without secrets that could harm my very existence, to feel emotion and show them they way they were meant to be portrayed, to sleep, to die. But what was the use of starting a conversation when you already knew what they were going to say, and it's not like anyone was jumping at the chance to talk to me, except her. I went to school and relearned everything I have already known after my century of existence, not talking to anyone, making no contact.
To them I was an outcast, and that was the way I wanted it. No one ever dared to come close, for their subconscious instincts told them that we were dangerous.
But then Bella came into the picture. You wouldn't believe the minds of these boys with their perversion. I had yet to see her, I already knew so much about her, from the thoughts of the other children, what was the thrill of actually meeting her? I finally saw her in lunch, she looked unlike any human I had seen. She was pale, pale for coming to Forks after living in the sun, with chocolate brown eyes set in her heart shaped face. She had a different beauty for an ordinary human girl. I couldn't hear nothing of her mind, nothing at all, it irritated me being unable to hear her. She smelled different, wonderfully different.
Her blood was like a voice that sung out for me, calling me, beckoning me to her. The scent hit me like a wrecking ball, causing me to almost lose control. I feared she would ruin me. I didn't want to be a monster, I couldn't be one. I became angry with her. I fled, leaving behind my family and Bella. I tried to keep away from it all, keep all thoughts from her, but try as I may my thoughts always trailed to her. I had felt differently around her, unlike every other human girl I have encountered. Uneasy emotions had settled in me, they were new, for I never felt them in over eighty years.
Alice confirmed my worst nightmare, that I was in love with the girl. I was scared, scared for my family and the risk I was putting them in, and I was scared for her. I was scared that I would be the one to kill her. But the thought of her loving another made me... jealous. I wanted nothing more than to be with her, to protect her, to love her. How silly to think that she could ever love me? A monster. I could not stay away from her though, and I realized that I was irrovocably in love with this human.
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky.
She was unlike every human I encountered. At times I questioned if she really even was human. She was unique, selfless, caring, and beautiful. She saw everything, nothing was hidden from her. But most of all, she was not afraid of me. She did not believe that I was the bad guy, the so-called monster I claimed myself to be. She did not believe that I could be the bad guy. The words stunned me.
It's alright, I survived, I'm alive again
Cuz of you, made it through every storm
what is life, what's the use when your killing time
I'm so glad I found an angel
Someone
who was there when all my hopes fell
I wanna fly, looking in your eyes
Bella awakened the suppressed human emotions, and Oh! how she awakened them! I found myself constantly wanted to be at her side, to touch her, feel her warmth and cherish the blush upon her cheeks.
I watched over her, hidden in the shadows, protecting her. How silly that the predator is now protecting his prey. But she wasn't prey anymore.
I was no longer finding ways to "kill time" I was absorbed in her, in her life. She fascinated me. She had brought me out of my depression, for by some divine miracle this angel loved me, this monster.
To her I was not a monster, I had a soul. I loved her, and she loved me. My world had flipped upside down, and for the better. I could not imagine my life without Bella, it seemed meaningless.
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
Because you live, I live
Because you live there's a reason why Because you live and breathe
I carry on when I lose the fight
i want to give what you've given me always
Because you live,girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
Because you live and breathe
because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live,girl
My world has everything I need to survive
Because Bella lived, I lived, as long as I had her I had everything I needed to survive in this existence, and nothing else mattered.
Because you live, I live, I live
I know I probably could have wrote more, but is this song not perfect?? i think I did pretty good for my first oneshot/songfic, dont cha think?? anyways leave me some reviews positive and negative feedback is always welcomed.