50 Ways to Kill Konohamaru

Summary: This little brat is quite possibly the single most annoying character of any anime series. Ever. Now is his judgment day.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, Naruto would not say "Believe it!" every 10 seconds.

Chapter 1: Meet the Head Hell Guy

As Gaara was finishing a visit to the Leaf Village, he was approached by everyone's favorite whiny brat Konohamaru.

Konohamaru: "Hey mister, what's wrong with your eyes?"

Gaara did not like people asking him that particular question. A bunch of sand came of his gourd and swallowed Konohamaru.

Sakura appeared

Sakura: "You killed Konohamaru! Thank you! You have no idea how long EVERYONE has wanted to do that!" she dragged Gaara off to her house to perform….. Certain acts of an adult nature on him

Konohamaru was rising in the sky toward heaven….. at first. Then he started to drop like a lead weight.

Kono: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He landed in a flaming pit

(For the purpose of saving time, I'm saying Kono instead of Konohamaru for the remainder of this fic)

Konohamaru: "Where am I?"

He was approached by two freaks that looked like they needed serious mental help. The big one was the first to speak up.

Me: "Welcome to hell! I'm the head hell guy, Matt! This is my buddy Andrew! You're in the Village Hidden in Eternal Flame!

Konohamaru: "I've been good! Why am I in hell!?"

Andrew: "Did you do your homework and eat your vegetables?"

Konohamaru started to cry.

Andrew: "Exactly!"

Kono: "I want my Mommy!"

Matt: "Demonic Pimp Slap Jutsu!" he slapped him all the way across a lava pit "Shinobi don't whine like little babies!"

Andrew: "And they don't wet and soil themselves either!"

Kono: "Mommy says I'm special and that I'll grow out of it!"

Matt: "Special eh? That would explain the helmet….. In any case come with us"

Kono: "I don't wanna!" he started to whine.

Matt: "Andrew, get the leash……."

Andrew put a leash on him and dragged him to some kind of virtual torture chamber. There was a screaming man tied to a chair with a virtual reality helmet on.

Kono: "Um… who is that and what're you doing to him?"

Matt: "Did you ever wonder why Naruto says 'Believe it!' all the time?"

He nodded

Matt: "That's his fault. He is living various death scenarios as punishment. He'll be reincarnated soon."

They dragged him out of the chair. He was reduced to a babbling drooling, idiot. They erased his memory and sent him to Reincarnation Land.

Matt: "That's also why many babies are so stupid."

They lifted Konohamaru into the chair. He was screaming like a little girl. Andrew stuffed his dirty sock in his noise hole.

Matt: "While you're in the virtual world, you won't remember you're dead. Now let the fun begin!"

He shoved the helmet on him.

To Be Continued

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For the record I am not good with Japanese terms so I just stick to normal English.

I also don't think Konohamaru has a mom but for the purpose this fanfic he does.

Please R&R but be gentle this is my first try. Thank you Andrew for helping me out.