Oh my God. What is wrong with me. They won't leave me alone. I am sooooo sorry.

EDIT 2/9/2014: Story's the same just going through and adjusting things. Proofreading and all that.

Chapter 1: Mutual Babysitting

Tony is bored.

Steve thinks that those are the most terrifying three words he's ever had the displeasure of thinking. Even taking into account that one time with Bucky in France, and … well, he promised himself he would never bring that up again.

Back to the point. Tony Stark with nothing to occupy his mind is a dangerous, feral thing. For Tony, getting bored means wild parties, drunk engineering, explosions, and strippers. Not necessarily in that order. Except he promised Ms. Potts that he wouldn't "traumatize the national icon, no seriously, Pep, he's a big boy, and it's not like I'm gonna burn down New York."

However that was yesterday and while Tony promised to more or less behave for the entire week, Steve can see that he is desperately looking for something to do.

"No, Steve, look. These people are crazier than we are."

Steve really wished that he could find Tony more annoying, but unfortunately his feelings were hovering around fondly exasperated like most people who actually knew Tony usually tended to do.

"There's this guy in Hell's Kitchen is blind pro-bono lawyer by day and blind masked acrobat by night. I mean, really, who does that?"

Because sometimes Tony was almost like that new puppy that you left in your apartment for five minutes only to come back and find that the little beast has torn up all of your furniture. Only with more repulsors and alcohol. And possibly debauchery.

Except the debauchery was tabled because while the tower was empty and Ms. Potts was out of town, Steve and Tony were acting as mutual babysitters. Watching each other watch each other. Because that was healthy.

"And don't get me started on Xavier and his band of nutcases. Or Magneto's for that matter."

So Steve was currently watching Tony hack into SHIELD's database because he was bored. Well, at least Bruce was supposed to be getting back by tonight.

"And no, it is not just that the suit is a really shiny, expensive, high-tech coffin around the man. Or excuse me, homo superior. Magneto is really just a huge bag of dicks!"

Steve sighs again for what has to be the fortieth time. Tony doesn't look up, just waves a negligent hand. "Hey, Cap, it's not like I'm changing anything or looking into mission-sensitive intel. I'm checking out the neighbors."

Great, they were going to meet up with these people someday, probably when they needed to be working together to save the world, and Tony was going to say the wrong thing, and everything would just blow up in their faces. To be honest that happened around Tony a little bit more often than Steve was strictly comfortable with. "Tony," he says, drawing out his friend's name. "That's a breach of their privacy."

Tony gives him a speculative look at that. "And it's not a breach of privacy for SHIELD to have the information?"

"Of course it is, but do you really think that the super-secret black ops government agency is going to care that they're breaching citizens' privacy?"

Tony winces. "Okay, point. But still it's important to know who's out there. What if they need help, Steve? And what if the help we try to give ends up hurting them? We need to know about these people."

Steve rolls his eyes. Please, Tony is just bored and nosy. "Tony, you want to get to know these people organize a meet-and-greet. Hold a party at the mansion on Park."

Tony sits up sharply, a wicked gleam in his eyes. "A party?"

Steve throws on his conversational breaks and backpedals. "No, Tony, not tonight. When Ms. Potts gets back. Get her to plan an actual party not a bash. Not like the infamous parties you've thrown before."

Tony's face closes off. Dammit, that was the wrong thing to say. Tony was such a minefield to talk to. Steve never knew when he might take one false step thinking he was fine only to have his feet blown out from beneath him.

"Look, Tony, there's nothing wrong with those parties when it's just to have fun. But you want to meet the other heroes of the city, they aren't practical. There's no point in meeting them and having a good time with them if none of us can remember it the next day."

Tony nods at that brightening a bit. Then he turns back to his interface to continue hacking SHIELD. God dammit. "Okay, so no wild party. And no party, full stop, until Pep is back to make sure I don't sneak in a stripper cake or something equally pubescent." He grins deviously. And, oh God, that grin signals explosions and mad science. "How about a field trip though? You up for that, Cap?"

Steve can't help the feeling of dread that fills his stomach. This will not end well.