It's My Fault

Toby POV

I sat at her bedside holding her hand. Come on Char you have to wake up. I need you. It's been three weeks and Charlie is still unconscious. Every now and then I can hear the faint stirrings of her subconscious, but she still doesn't wake.

"Toby you should go home, man. Becker will be here soon and you know how he'll be if he sees you here with her." Oz warned me. Becker's been busy at the station so I took a few days off so I could keep Charlie company, but Oz was right Becker would be pissed if he saw me hear. He blames me for what happened, bet he doesn't need to I already blame myself no matter how much Oz and Olivia tell me not to.

"I don't care. I'm staying here and if Becker wants to shoot me then so be it."

Olivia POV

I saw Oz walk out of Detective Marks' room mumbling "Fine, it's your funeral."

"What's wrong Oz?" I ask him.

"Toby." Of course. "He won't leave even though Becker will be here soon."

"I'll talk to him."

"Good luck." He mumbles as he went home. I walked to the door of the room startled by what I saw.

Normal POV

Toby was sitting next to the bed looking at the woman lying unconscious, both hands wrapped around hers as he kissed her hand. "I'm so sorry Charlie. I wish I never asked you to come. This is all my fault. Just please wake up. You can yell at me, blame me, and I'll stay away. Just wake up, let me know you're okay." He whispered to her as a tear fell down his cheek. Feeling like she was imposing on a private moment Olivia left the room with a pang of jealousy in her heart.

Some time later Becker walked into Charlie's room to see Toby sitting by her side, holding her hand, and looking at her hopefully. What the hell is he doing? He's supposed to stay away from war. And how dare he touch her after what he's done! Having heard Becker's screaming thoughts Toby didn't even jump when he started. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE? I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM HER!" He then grabbed Toby and shoved him against the wall as Toby stared past him watching Charlie. "I don't want you anywhere near her you piece of shit. You caused this and I don't want it to happen again." He stated icily. Toby looked at the red-faced officer.

"I know it's my fault. I know you care about her, I do too. I just want to make sure she wakes up and she's okay and I'm gone. I promise." Toby calmly stated and moved out of the detective's grasp and walks back to Charlie's bedside. Becker just glares at him with a hint of understanding.

In the morning Toby left ignoring Olivia as she talked to him. Becker remained in the room filling in the seat that Toby had been occupying. A few hours later Charlie began to stir and Becker sat up at attention. "Charlie? Come on Charlie. You can do it open your eyes. Char?" she moaned slightly.

"Don't call me that." Came the muffled response, her eyes still closed. "Toby?"

"No he's not here. It's me, Becker. I've been so worried about you." He softly admitted as her eyes cracked open.

"I need to talk to Toby." A flash of pain crossed his face.

"I'll go call him." He walked out of the room and took out his phone.

"Logan."

"She's awake. She's going to make a full recovery." He could hear a relieved sigh came from the paramedic.

"Thanks for telling me."

"Yeah…how do I know you're going to keep your promise?"

"I already applied for a transfer. I'll be halfway across the country in just over a week. You don't have to worry about seeing me ever again."

"Good. But unfortunately I have to see you one more time, she's asking for you. But once you finish talking I want you gone." He warned.

"I'll be by after my shift's up." He ended the call and Becker went back into the room.

After his shift heading for Charlie's room when he was stopped by Olivia. "What's this about you transferring?" Toby shrugged and tried to move past her only to have her put a hand on his chest keeping him in his place. "Is this because of her? It wasn't your fault."

"Stop saying that." He practically screamed causing Olivia to jump. "I get it, Liv, you're trying to make me feel better but it's not working. It's making it worse because it is my fault. If I hadn't told her my…" Toby looked around lowering his voice and touching his head, "secret, she wouldn't have been there at least not without backup and she wouldn't have been in a coma for three weeks. So yes I'm transferring because of her. I don't want her to get hurt again…nor do I want Oz or you to end up in that hospital bed." He ended shrugging past a speechless Olivia. He walked into the room where Charlie and Becker were talking when she saw Toby and asked Becker to leave for a moment never breaking eye contact with Toby. Becker looked between the debating if he should really leave when Charlie gave him a reassuring look and he hesitantly left.

"I hear you're transferring." Toby nods. "May I ask why?" he shrugs. "Is it because of me, because of this?" she gestures to the hospital room. He looks down and his hands ball into fists as he gives a small nod. "This wasn't your fault you know?"

Giving an exasperated sigh he says "I wish people would stop saying that."

"Maybe people will stop saying that once you realize it's true. It was my choice to come just like it was my choice to continue talking to you after I figured out your secret. My choices, my fault."

"This is not-"

"Yes it is." She stubbornly crossed her arms and he couldn't help the small smirk that crossed his lips.

"You're not going to drop this are you?" she shook her head.

"I'll stop blaming myself as soon as you stop blaming yourself." Toby chuckled slightly, moving to sit in the chair next to her bed.

"Fine. I'll drop it. Now what?"

"Now you take back that transfer request and tell me everything I've missed in the past three weeks." She smiled at him but her face fell as soon as she saw the expression on his face. "What?"

"I promised Becker I would leave you alone." She began to protest but he stopped her. "Even if I stop blaming myself the fact remains that anyone who knows my secret and is close to me is in danger, so the only solution is for me to leave."

"That's not the only option."

"What else is there?"

"We could start an investigation."

"And what do we tell the cops who will be working this investigation?"

"We could figure something out."

"I don't think so. Any other options?"

"Yeah. You could the risk and stay."

"As much as I would love to stay I don't want anyone else getting hurt."

"What if we're willing to risk it; Oz, Olivia, Ray, and me. What if we all insist you stay?"

"I don't know. I-I don't want you to get hurt again." He admitted looking down at his hands.

"I won't. I'll be fine. Just promise you won't leave." She assured him, grabbing one of his hands causing him to look up at her. "Please, Toby. Just stay, please?" he nodded slightly.

"Okay. I'll stay." They smiled at each other. They just sat there, talking to each other, holding hands still.

Some time later the sun had set and Becker had gone home, not very happy that Toby was staying. The two were still holding hands and talking when Toby looked at the clock; it was nearing one in the morning.

"I think it's time I leave and let you sleep."

"I can sleep tomorrow, stay." He smiled at her.

"Okay, I think it's time I leave so I can get some sleep. Some of us actually have to work in the morning. Not all of us get lounge around all day." He joked. They both chuckled.

"I guess it is getting kind of late."

"So I'm free to go." He smiled at her.

"Yes you're free to go." She returned the smile. He lent over her and gave her a lingering kiss on the forehead. When he pulled away he gave her hand a squeeze.

"Sweet dreams, Char."

"Sweet dreams, Toby."