Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man
Chapter 1
Lavi was bored. Very bored. He almost wished that the Noah clan would invade, just to spice up the place!
"Boooooooored," he moaned, only to get smacked over the head by the old geezer. However, that smack knocked something loose in his head (probably his common sense), and he came up with a magnificent idea! He should prank someone! But who?
Lavi glanced contemplatively at Bookman for a moment, but shook his head. Old panda face would kill him. He stared off into the middle distance, ignoring Bookman's disturbed expression, and began to think.
He couldn't prank the Science Division, since they were extremely overworked and underpaid. Ditto for the Finders. He couldn't do anything to Komui, since the nut slept with an enormous power drill under his pillow. Or Lenalee, for that matter, because she was the reason Komui had that drill. That left Kanda and Allen, but Lavi treasured his head, so it would have to be Allen.
He began giggling maniacally as a plan shaped in his head, oblivious to the fact that Bookman was edging away from him slowly. It was the perfect prank! All he needed was the cover of darkness. And a sewing machine.
*•.•*•.•*
Lavi, still giggling maniacally despite the all-nighter he just pulled, sat in wait in the cafeteria. He gulped down his eighth cup of coffee that morning, ignorant of the rapidly growing circle of solitude that surrounded him. Not even Jerry would dare go near him.
Finally, footsteps echoed through the hall. Allen's footsteps. Lavi tried to stem his laughter, failing and snorting coffee up his nose in the process. He wiped laughter and pain-induced tears from eyes. This was gonna be great!
The footsteps came closer and closer, until they rang across the cafeteria. And in walked Allen. Wearing a dress. Well, technically it was an exorcist uniform with the detailing dyed bright pink and a matching ruffled skirt sewn on, but by Jove it looked like one!
Allen, an odd expression on his face, approached the giggly redhead and said, "Lavi, Komui says you modified all my clothes to look like this last night. . ."
Blast it! He had forgotten about the golems and their spying eyes! Now Allen was definitely going to murder him!
". . . and I'd like to say. . ."
Lavi clutched his mug to his chest, bracing himself for the oncoming storm.
". . . thank you! They're very nice!"
What?
"They are all so very pretty and comfy! They also are surprisingly well sewn. Why, I'd swear that a professional seamstress-"
"But they're dresses!" Lavi shouted, the mug shattering with the strength of his outburst, "They're girly clothes! And you're a guy!"
Allen stared blankly and replied, "So? Master Cross made me wear girl clothes."
A collective gasp resonated through the room. Allen sighed and continued, "My master would disguise me as a girl because it made me look more innocent and sympathetic, which made it easier to con people. Also, men are less likely to hit a girl."
The room was silent. Allen sighed again. "Oh, well. I'll be off then. I need to show Lenalee my new uniform!"
Allen skipped away, whistling a jaunty melody as he went. Lavi sat paralyzed for a moment, before faceplanting on the table, his face splashing into the pool of cooling coffee. He groaned pathetically.
"Oh Allen," he moaned into the lukewarm puddle, "Why do you make me look normal?"
"Because you're an idiot!" Bookman's voice thundered from the heavens, "And you have work to do!"
Lavi groaned again, only putting up a token struggle as he was dragged away from the table by his ear, shirtfront soaked through in a way he knew would stain terribly. And at that moment, that miserable, painful, coffee-scented moment, he swore that he would never pull a prank on anyone ever again!
Maybe.