CHAPTER 1

"Today our heroes Rocket J. Squirrel, known to his friends as "Rocky", and his best pal Bullwinkle J. Moose find themselves engrossed in danger and intrigue down in the Bayou!"

"But Mr. Narrator!" Rocky began "We're not in the Bayou!"

"We're not?" the Narrator asked.

"And we're not in danger... at least I don't think we are!" Bullwinkle replied.

"You mean... no perilous danger? No nefarious plots by Fearless Leader?"

"Nope" Rocky said.

"Just a regular vacation in Daytona Beach..." Bullwinkle replied.

"Daytona Beach? Is that where we are?" the Narrator asked.

"Even celebrities like us need a break from the action every now and then..." Bullwinkle replied.

"Yes, well... I suppose you're right." the Narrator said.

"So, where do you want to go first Bullwinkle? The Ponce Inlet? The Museum of Arts and Sciences? Daytona Speedway?" Rocky asked as he flipped through a brochure.

"Why don't we go to Disneyland? I haven't heard from Mickey Mouse in ages..."

"I think you mean Disney World, Bullwinkle... and I don't think we've ever met Mickey Mouse before."

"Oh, yes we did... it was during The Case of the Stolen Cookie Dough story..."

"You mean the time you jumped out of a plane and forgot your parachute?"

"No, you're thinking of Adventures in Bullwinkle Setting, I'm talking about the time Fearless Leader tried to take over the world with shaving cream..."

"I thought that was a sheep-powered ray-gun..."

"A sheep powered ray-gun? That's crazy... Why, thats the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, who would ever think of something so silly? Now if it was a trout powered ray-gun or even a salmon-powered one, then we'd talk..."

"As our heroes continued to try and remember whatever Bulwinkle was talking about, unbeknownst to the vacationers they're being mysteriously watched from a high-orbit satellite... But by who? Who indeed, none other than that no-goodnik, penny-pinching, two-bit, backstabbing, two-timing, double dealing badnik of chicanery, Fearless Leader."

"Please... your flattery is too much." said Fearless Leader.

"It wasn't meant as a compliment..." the Narrator replied.

"Ah, you don't know what you're talking about..."

"What sort of diabolical, underhanded scheme have you devised this time, you malevolent tyrant?"

"What, a person can't spy on they're arch-enemies every now and then?"

"Its shameful." the narrator added.

"Ah, get off my back..." Fearless Leader said as he went back to spying.

"Um, boss?" said Boris as he intered the room.

"Badenov, you dummkopf! How many times have I told you not to sneak up on me?"

"Exactly three-thousand three-million and fifty seven times..."

"Hmm" Fearless contemplated for a moment. "Regardless, go make yourself useful somewhere while I continue to spy on Moose and Squirrel..."

"Boss?"

"Now what is it?!"

"I've been thinking..."

"You? Thinking Badenov?"

"Moose and squirrel get vacation, how come me and Natasha never get vacation?"

"Badenov... have you ever heard the saying "villainy never sleeps"?

"No..."

"It is the code by which all villains live by, it is what defines us to this day..."

"Well who wrote a bunk rule like that?"

"What?! You dare insult our Pottsylvanian forefathers?

"Yes... I mean no Fearless Leader!"

"Idiot... I should have you strung up by your hinder for that oversight!"

"What is all the noise, I am hearing da'ling?" Natasha asked.

"I was just informing Badenov about the finer points of being a no-good scoundrel..."

"Oh, that is so nice of you, Fearless Leader, da'ling..."

"Oh, indeed..." Boris said, a hint of irritation in his voice.

"Now, then... I must return to spying on our enemies..."

"But, Boss... if moose and squirrel are on vacation, what do we have to worry for?" Boris asked.

"Vacation? Bah, thats just a cover... In reality, I'm sure they're up to something to further impede our villainess intentions for world domination!"

"I don't know, looks like they're having fun to me..." Boris said as he looked in the scope.

"You sure they're not on vacation, boss?"

"Of course I am sure... and I'm sending you and Fatale to Daytona Beach to investigate exactly what it is they're up to..."

"But boss... I had plans to fly to the Bahamas and play blackjack!"

"You don't fool me, Badenov... I haven't given you a vacation in thirty years!"

"But you've never given him a vacation, da'ling..."

"Of course I did... don't you remember? When he was locked up abroad in Havana?"

"That was a vacation?" Boris asked to himself.

"Indeed... Now then, you two go to the airport and book a trip to Florida, pronto!"

"Can't we at least have a cup of coffee and a ham sandwich before we leave?" Boris asked.

"Let me think about it... No!"

"A quick cup of coffee?"

"Hmm, alright then... a quick cup of coffee... Then you go antagonize moose and squirrel for five-hundred thirteenth time!"

"Meanwhile back in Daytona, our heroes have just checked into the famous Plaza Resort and Spa..."

"This sure is a swanky looking place, Rock..." Bullwinkle said as he and Rocky walked through the hallway in search of they're room.

"I'll say, Bullwinkle... this place is beautiful!"

"Well, this must be it... Room 5-11!"

"Allow me, Rock... I can't wait to see the view!" Bullwinikle said as he gripped the doorknob, and slowly began to open the door.

"Unbeknownst to our heroes, a shotgun had been rigged to go off the second the door opens... Will our heroes make it through this, or will they're vacation end before it even begins? Join us next time for Bad Expectations, or CSI: Bullwinkle!"

End of Chapter 1