Title: The Truth of a Lie
Genre: Drama
Fandom: Naruto
Character/Pairing: SakuraXSasuke
Rating: K+
Summary: "I really am the only person who understands you, ne, Sasuke?"
Warnings: This story works under an alternate timeline but... set same universe?
Disclaimers: Kishimoto-sensei owns this, as well as Aniplex and TV Tokyo. ^.^ Me not made money from this. Don't sue :S
Author's Notes: This is me asking for forgiveness from my Beta readers, Lafuego and Akage. I am deciding if I should sign you up for hair treatment or buy you guys a wig. This work's grammer would have been atrocius if not for them. Honto ni arigatou ^.^
The Truth of a Lie
Strangers shoot disapproving glances my way as they brush past me. I guess all that effort to look presentable to the public was useless after all. No matter what I do, I just couldn't hide the puffiness of my eyes nor the dark circles under them. I briefly glance at myself over at a store window; I just hope that Sasu.... that he doesn't notice.
"Don't lie to me, Sakura, just to make me stay."
A teardrop escapes my eye and flows down my cheek. I try to wipe it away but then suddenly, more start to come out. I can't believe I'm crying right now. Why am I so pathetic? I should have never told him the truth, about how I truly felt about him. I don't even know why I told him.
************************************
That day, just when the sun was melting back into the horizon, something broke in our never-changing world. We met up at the red bridge close to the training grounds, both of us tired from a hard day's work. He leaned against the bridge, like he always did, and I leaned next to him, like I always did for the past 12 years. Everything was exactly the same way as when we were children. Well, not exactly the same.
Our elbows touched; my face flushed bright pink and I was praying desperately that he couldn't hear my heart beat faster. I sneaked a quick glance at Sasuke, hoping that he didn't notice, yet somehow, a quick glance became a long stare. Sasuke's face was always cool and impassive, but I knew better. He had a subtle way of showing kindness, yet he always tried to pass it off with cold-hearted demeanour. It's kind of cute, I thought to myself. I was so absorbed with my thoughts that I nearly missed what he said.
"I'm going to Sound in three weeks. Once I get my papers from the Hokage Tower, I'm leaving as soon as I can."
My heart stopped. Everything stopped. What was he trying to say? I couldn't understand. I didn't want to.
Leaving.
Three weeks.
Sound.
Which meant.....?
"War? You're going to war? No! Sasuke, please don't go to Sound!"
He looked as if he knew that I would react this way; yet one could still see that he was hurt. He closed his eyes and smiled. No, not a smile but a smirk. That stupid smirk he puts on to belittle someone and remind them how insignificant they are to him.
"I thought you would understand Sakura. "
He opened his eyes slowly, and the smirk disappeared. His face was again unemotional and hard as stone when he tilted his head my way. My eyes widened in fear as they met the empty black orbs of his. I was transfixed, unable to tear my eyes away while my body shook with terror. Who are you? was all I could think about. His voice was filled with a silent, sarcastic malice that I stopped thinking altogether.
"I finally get to fight. Yes, even if it is for a selfish reason like revenge. This is my chance to meet him again!"
Itachi. His older brother's treachery had spawned a seed of hate in Sasuke's heart 3 years was never able to forget his brother's open betrayal of his country, his village, and of his own younger brother. Hate pointed to only one path for Sasuke: kill Itachi.
I started to cry, but I didn't care. I hated myself because I knew; the Sasuke I loved died the day Itachi left. I knew I should've seen this coming but I blinded myself from this nightmare. I deluded myself into thinking that maybe I could be that one to show him another way. That I was important enough in his life that he'd abandon his revenge. And now, here he is, facing me.
Leaving me.
"Sasuke... please... don't leave..." I begged, my voice rough and shaky, all torn up with my tears.
His callous deception broke. He turned away, only to have his back facing me. Sasuke had too much pride to show his emotions to me but even with all his self control, he couldn't stop the torment from flowing into his words.
"Why? Sakura, why should I stay here? There is nothing here left for me, no one here left for me. I am a traitor's brother, an outcast. This is my only chance to prove myself. You once said to me that you were the only person in the world who could understand me. Why can't you now?"
Because I love you. I couldn't stop the tears from coming out or what I was about to say.
"Stay here, Sasuke. I don't want you to leave. If you regret staying, then blame me. I won't care if you do. Why can't I be the reason for you to stay? I love you so much and yet...."
My words were choked by my sobs. But all I could think of was him.
The abrupt silence strangled the atmosphere. An eternity seemed to have passed by with only us. Constant, still statues caught in the middle of the uncaring flow called time. Reality dawned on me as I realized my slip of words. Words that he was never meant to hear.
There, I finally said it. And just as quickly as I said it, I was quickly rejected.
"Don't lie to me, Sakura, just to make me stay"
"Don't love me, Sakura, because I can't love you back."
I just stared at him. His back was the last thing I saw before I broke. I don't remember what happened after. He left me there.
Because he couldn't take the sight of me, hurting and breaking, losing my will to hold on. He knew that I wasn't lying. It's just that he would never let himself feel anything except hate, because that is the only thing that keeps him holding on. "Don't love me, Sakura, because I can't love you back," was what his heart whispered to mine, understanding his cryptic message.
He doesn't love me.
I forced myself to smile, no matter how fake or bittersweet it felt. In a poor attempt to console myself, I laughed bitterly, and said out loud, not caring if anyone heard me,
"I really am the only person who understands you, ne, Sasuke?"
*********************************************************************
I promised myself that I would forget him. That I won't go to Hokage Tower to see him and say goodbye.
But here I am, patiently waiting by the Hokage Tower, hoping that I can see him for one last time. I sit on a bench, looking at the doors where he should come out from any second now. Unwanted tears threaten to spill and one by one, slowly fall down my cheeks. No! I want to look brave in front of him and not look like I've been crying for weeks.
I try to calm myself down. One, two, three..., I silently keep track, as I slowly count the nameless pedestrians on the street. It's working. I feel the tears slowing down to a stop. I look at my watch. It's been an hour already. I sigh. I guess I've missed my chance to say goodbye. I stand up, turn to go, but freeze.
There he is, staring straight at me, frozen in place as I am. I don't know how much time passes as we stare at each other, both of us not sure on what to do. When I finally gather up my courage, I walk towards him, and stop when I am just a foot away from him. I look up, and force a smile, trying to persuade the tears that want to come out to disappear. I don't exactly know what to say to him, but anguish takes over and shapes my words, forming my decision.
"Hello... Sasuke," I greet hesitantly.
Strange. My voice seems so unfamiliar to me, but I thought nothing of it. Laughing to myself I thought, I am already a stranger to myself and to this man.
When he doesn't answer, I feel my anguish gradually turning to anger. I'm an emotional mess while he's a piece of stone! I look straight into his eyes and finally will myself to say the things that I have been denying for so long.
"I just wanted to say that... I'm sorry. For understanding you. For loving you. I know I will never be that person for you. And God, I'm tired of trying to be... We can't be friends anymore. Because I finally let myself see the truth. You're not my Sasuke… Not anymore."
No response. He just stares at me intensely, like he wants to say something but couldn't. I wait to see if he would say the things I want to hear the most, but he didn't. Silence. Disappointed, I turn around and start to walk away.
Suddenly, strong arms grab my shoulders. I found myself being whirled around and then his lips are on mine. Tender yet bittersweet, fulfilling but lonely.
His kiss breaks down my blockade and the tears come flowing down. It isn't passionate, just gentle and sweet; but it's full of all the things that he wants to say to me but can't. Feelings that he can never give me.
Goodbye.
The kiss ends, and then he is gone. All that's left now is me, in tears, alone and broken. Strangers pass by with disapproving looks as they brush past a fallen flower.