Notice how the waves of the ocean clash onto the rocks, carefree, without consent. I would even say they're trying to find their own way but are blocked and dried out every time they arrive. Sand cutting them on the surface and drowning them in their own ending, as if the sand had a reason for it. A reason to live. And then there's me, the passenger on the beach, pushing the waves even deeper with the soles of my feet nowhere near redemption. It was a sad course that never seemed to end. Or would it? Some days were colder and filled with sorrow; would there be an ending now? And then it all seemed so silly. Why end now? It will all end anyway. The one thing we all know for sure is that we're all going to end some day. Why now?
At the beach there was no need for razorblades, no need for the scratching and the gnawing on my own skin. The salty water felt cold and rinsing and it stung so nicely into the fresh wounds on my feet. Why end now?
And I thought of a because, but the more I thought about it, the less I seemed to find any answers. And then it dawned on me. That's why.
Because in the end, the waves won't be better off. The sand won't be better off. My feet won't be better off, they'll be dried out and old. My heart will grow colder and worry will grow worse. If anything, I'd be doing myself a favor. If only there was anyone around to care anymore. I just wish they weren't all gone. All dead.
His body torn apart and ripped in pieces appeared in front of me. Then there were her eyes filled with tears, filled with fear. For me? And his laughter, his terrible voice, it rang in my ears and I wanted it to stop.
I wanted it to drown, drown with me.
It started getting a lot colder, the water stung my arms too now. It stung my legs and my chest. It stung the inside of my nose and my throat. And all I could hear was his laughter. His terrible laughter. My screams were muffled by the stinging water around me.
Soon enough, there was nothing left.
Nothing but waves crashing on the rocks, carefree, without consent. Sand cutting them on the surface and drowning them in their own ending. The only difference was that now the waves had to drag me along too.